#rkjan16eval

LOCATION: KT BUILDING PRACTICE ROOM XX DATE: 31 JAN 2016

half a year has long passed since she’s made it into kt. all the hardships she went through certainly had shaped her into a slightly better being. character-wise, she’s become more disciplined and ambitious. skill-wise? she’s pretty much okay with dancing. the amount of dance-related evals in kt are just embarrassing– surely around at least eighty five percent of kt is all about the charms in dancing.

His heart beats rapidly, his body ached, while he breathlessly leaned against the mirrored wall. It has been officially a month and some since his got signed in Royal Ent. The last company he’d ever thought to actually work in, let alone get signed as a trainee. But he takes what he can get, never really the type to make a fuss as long as he was given a fair opportunity.

Standing up from his spot against the reflective surface, Minsoo walks towards the centre of the room, the other boys tiredly finding their place next to him. The their strict choreographer, sternly observing the exhausted, sweat covered trainees; who were mentally preparing themselves for another round of hours with them dancing to other's creation. 

The choreography was intense, each movement required to be executed with a right amount of precision. The steps not only followed the rhythm of the song, but also illustrated the lyrics in some parts. Actions differ by the beat, sometimes they were on the floor imitating creepy crawling things or suddenly jumping, then changing there body direction in midair. The latter movement, had Minsoo trip at least a couple of times before he got the hang of it. “Stop!—"

He doesn’t listen to the rest of the complain the senior dancer had to say. The rapper couldn’t careless about anything at that point, Minsoo lets out a small huff, he just wants to go home and sleep for another century or so. Watching the expert male yell at one of the other trainees, the middle child observes his surroundings, the blinking camera stopped it’s recording, paused by the another bored looking man who was waiting for the rant to be done. Just like the rest of them quite frankly.  

Initially the rapper felt completely out of place, this was the first evaluation he is in since the auditions. It just so happens that he was being evaluated in his worst skills. The pressure was overwhelming to say the least, but now that they were on their last day, Minsoo just needed this to be over. His improved immensely from day one, although still not in par with the older trainees, the rapper manages to keep up, specially because his male ego wouldn’t allow himself to be the reason of the boys’ downfall in anyway. 

He was half thankful, half ready to slap himself when he found out he already had his first eval. It was really strange for him, less than a month and he was already going to be tested. Yet, thankful again, it was dancing, he was good at it. Well, maybe not as everyone else good, but pretty decent at it. As long as he didn’t have to rap, he could deal with it.

The time was… it was probably around half past ten in the afternoon, from what Jihoon could see in the clock opposite the mirrors of the dance studio. The dance had been going smoothly, at least for him he thought. Yes, there were constant changes, shifts. moving of members around the room, groups re-arranging, but his biggest problem was when he understood how socially awkward he was during their small breaks. He was also pretty new in the company and everyone he already knew was somewhere else. Running his hands through his wet hair, while walking to his place, he looked at the mirror where everyone was getting ready for their parts. His hair was already going blonde and it was already too long for his liking, but he didn’t have the time to cut it or even dye it. The boy sight and kneed to the floor on one knee and rested on his leg as he waited for the song to start.

Jihoon felt out of place the whole time. Everyone in his group were at least one-eighty and he was barely reaching the one-sixty-five cm. They all had black, or at least natural dark hair and he had his natural blonde one. They all had that sexy sad swag vibe, and he was honest with himself - he never had the swag vibe with him when it was sad, he had the ‘yes, this is sad’ type of vibe that he needed to fix in order to mix and not stand out more than he should.

Without noticing for a few seconds, the music was pulled to a stop, someone had missed a step or two and the coaches weren’t happy about it. The blonde sighed and wiped his face with his sleeve, watching how to choreographer made the moves seem so easy, before the music played again, and they all started from the beginning, the choreographer clapping and repeating the so annoying ‘one and two, three-four and turn’ it was driving Jihoon crazy. No one would ever learn to multitask if they had to repeat that taunt instead of the words. Maybe that was just him, most likely it was that way but he had to focus a lot more now, just a few more days and it would be over.

                                                                                                                  every night | outfit

“ every time i feel your love and kiss oh baby “

She had practiced alone most of the time, only when she had been forced to be inside of the pratice room, did other people see her. It was like she became even more of a ghost at TRC, disappearng and reappearing in a split second. Yubin liked it this way, it only meant she had to replace a broken bag or pair of earphones every so often. She didn't even know if she could muster emtions at this point.

Her mood was blank, she drove to work everyday feeling nothing. She worked out feeling nothing. Even as she 'talked' to people about her problems she just said what they wanted to hear in forced a smile. She could hardly focus on feeling depressed or sad or upset or happy. It took to much engery and she only had so much to spare. The nights she couldn't sleep, she'd take a sleeping pill but still wake up half way through.

But everyday came where you had to act, pretend like everything was fine for the camera and get into it. Today was that day, they were recording the new dance they learned to some unnamed song. And she wanted to put on the best performance possible, just for a tiny while could muster the enegery to care.

When she walked in she went straight for the back. Sitting away from her group and all else until it was time for her group to be called. Along with the others she walked up to the front of the room and her eyes slid to the cameras for a moment before she got into her next place.

As the intro music started, she slowly moved into the moves they gave them to them. Turning with a sharpness, and moving down.

With sweet words, you tell me to come out because you’re bored by yourself But I know that you want to hug me and you want to be together today I know this is booty call – you say you miss me whenever it becomes late at night Those words melt me again so I take this call

There was a snap in the music and she moved to her next stop, hitting each more sharply. Her expression matched that of the song. To her at least it, was a sad and senstal feeling. It felt sexy to say the least but at least she had some idea of it.

Every time I Feel your love and kiss oh baby I always think that today is the last time but it’s not that easy Every time, just as I always did At your phone call My heart always grows weak

Again they moved around each other with ease. You would only know the goup had been a problem if you had been there to see it, always having to be over seen by a trainer to make everything go smoothly. Maybe that's where it started to happen, when they started to learn to the performane first.

The days we spent together, the days we laughed together, I forgot them all Why do you try to shake me up again and have my phone ringing all night? o nonono o nonono

She was happy there were no side looks through or sneers. Every girl seemed focused on bringing the dnace to life and that was fine with her. As long as she didn't have another reason to have the company distrust and her fellow traines hate her.

Stop – the bell rings and I hear a familiar voice I squint my eyes from being asleep, I get up and once again I sigh

Just as she was told at the word stop, she turned her body a bit and brought down her arm. Even if she wasn't in the center Yubin always knew how to make her persance known, hitting the moves as sharp as they wanted them while still making the dance look easy and fluid, practice for hours and hours would do that to you after a while.

At this time, I always should be Cinderella Something’s gonna happen because of my lost glass slipper Our relationship is like a steep stairway So, I don’t know how to get down

It was as if formation changes were a constant thing, the group moved and it was time for a new part of the dance to appear, this time her eyes found the camera and she danced staring staring at the black screen. Her stare wasn't broken even as she danced, her body already flowing the moves. She hadn't evenn need to think about it, it came natural.

Every time I Feel your love and kiss oh baby Though you do this, I’m okay, I’m not sad anymore Every time, just as I always did Our past love It’s been long since I threw away

Only for a few seconds had she been bent on the ground. Then she was going up again, heading towards the back of the three in front of her. When everyone had settled into formations they danced once more.

The days we spent together, the days we laughed together, I forgot them all Why do you try to shake me up again and have my phone ringing all night? o nonono o nonono

It felt like a rinse and report once the she did this part, it was almost like perfoming. But different from what she had done outside of it.

The phone’s non-stop ringing changes this whole situation I hate it so much but what can I do? How can I forget when you’re still so clear in my eyes? No I can’t live without you, please keep taking me and shaking me up I can’t live without you yes i can’t live without you

And maybe that was her head. Sure she hadn't performed on an idol stage but she did. She spent the past years always performing in front of someone. Traveling, she had shared her muisc and style to didn't people and she always learned, no matter what. Even a simple dance class beig recoreded was like being on stage to her.

A sly smirk was sent at the camera at point. Perfectly matching up with the lyric in the song. She'd bring them to life.

The days we spent together, the days we laughed together, I forgot them all Why do you try to shake me up again and have my phone ringing all night? o nonono o nonono

As it neared the end, when she moved to stand in place she was compeltey still until it was her turn to move once more. She wanted it to be sharp and clean so she needed to make sure she moved that way.

The days we spent together (the days we spent together all this time) The days we laughed together (now this long phone call should be ended) The days we passed by (the long time of our passed days) The phone doesn’t stop ringing all night o nonono o nonono

As the song came to an end, she tried to turn it up even more. Her eyes would always find the camera and she showed out, maybe to prove that they'd lose something if they lost her. The ending movements were slow and gracful. The group slowly bent to the ground snapping their fingers and in the last second of the song, she gave another look and suddenly turned her head away.

                                               [  january evaluations / day two ]

for the first time, woohyun is tired of smiling.

when the day goes by, stretching further into the night-- the nonstop dancing and continuous choreography weighing down on him, he finds it hard to keep smiling. but he does keep trying, head tilted up, the strain never ending on his face, his muscles-- he’s beginning to not be able to feel his toes properly. every fiber of his being is screaming at him to stop-- his body can’t handle it, but everyone else can, everyone else is pushing forward. woohyun can do it. he just has to get over himself.

the only obstacle is yourself.

the steps have all but blended together, it’s easier to work with his feet. the constant repetitive practice helps him get the moves down, but his body is so tired, it’s hard not to look sluggish. he’s been shouted at less than before, but occasional he slips up-- causes the entire scene to be ruined, and woohyun feels worse. he knows that the rest of the boys are all wokring hard, harder than he probably, and most have much more confidence in their dancing abilities than he could ever hope to have.

but he has to try. at this point in the day, where his lungs are heaving, body damp with sweat, clothes sticking to his skin-- he can’t just stop now.

he wonders if it’ll be like this forever. the evaluation like this, constant work shops. the pressure put on him to work harder, do better, stretch your limits, bend to the point where you break. woohyun wonders if he’ll be able to handle it-- if he’ll be able to hold out. will all his hard work be for naught? 

he’s heard of people who stay training for years, how they grow old. woohyun will be twenty-five in only a few weeks. he doesn’t have all the time in the world; what if he never gets a chance to debut?

the thought frightens him, it sends his feet moving forward, soles of his shoes slipping against the floor. hid body flops forward, forearms and knees pressing into the ground with a grunt. he hears the instructor’s shout, a call of quit playing around, get up!  but woohyun can’t breathe. he gasps and he chokes, hand clutching his throat as he scrambles to get back up. the instructor calls for a break, sharp voice snapping above the music as it shuts off. woohyun manages to get himself on his knees, pushing himself on shaky legs as he forces his way to his bag. his throat is aching, breathing heavy and scraping against his lungs. his fingers are shaking as he rips the bottle from his bag and nearly tears the cap off of it. swallowing one gulp, then two-- it soothes his throat but his heart keeps beating in that rapid, fast paced motion. the anxiety builds in him, the insecurities-- it festers and it builds, the stinging in his eyes because he wants to succeed; he wants to do better-- he wants to impress, be someone to look up to in this company. he wants to be something, he doesn’t want to be known to the instructor as the boy who can’t land simple choreography, doesn’t want to be labeled as the boy who can’t keep tripping over his own two feet. doesn’t want to be the one holding everyone back.

later that night when the trainees have finished an entire day of getting familiar and practicing a beta choreography, willow decides to stay in the building after most of the other trainees have gone home. most of the hours they've spent in the company today were dedicated to learning new steps and changing parts of the routine, but the exhaustion trying to weigh her down from countless hours of executing and memorizing the dance is powerless compared to her eagerness to polish rough edges for perfection. they've listened to the newly-composed song ( or maybe it's not new at all -- for sure the company is always just waiting for the opportune moment to disclose manufactured materials and ideas ) all day that willow finds herself humming fragments of it even long after the loudspeakers have stopped blaring.

Bora was used to doing covers, especially to songs that were more difficult than others, so she was never too worried about learning the choreography to them. Since she was used to dancing she figured that the choreography wouldn’t be too hard for her to get down, though she did hope that she wouldn’t mess up too much. Doing a song that no one has ever even heard before made her feel kind of excited about the whole thing, rather than feeling nervous like she thought she would be feeling. Though, despite how excited she was, she was still feeling slightly exhausted from the Gayo’s and was still not over that either. Just the thought of her having been on stage made her smile again, feeling like she had made it one step closer to making her dream happen.

The intense training that they were going through this time for the evaluations also made her realize how hard things really were, realizing that if she ever did make her debut in the future then she would be going through all of this a lot more. In a way though it was still a good thing, Bora thinking that it was a good way to help everyone get an idea of how it would be in the future, that is if they did manage to make their debut.

Though, even while thinking about all of this and going over the choreography she couldn’t help but keep glancing over at Jieun, watching as the other female danced. She had noticed how the other couldn’t get a certain move down in the chorus of the choreography and it made Bora wonder if she should try helping her. She herself had managed to get most of the dance memorized, still stuck on a few moves, though she had the chorus down because (to her) it wasn’t really that hard at all. Though she had to admit that this type of dance still wasn’t something she was comfortable with, but she was trying her best.