Hi, y'all. I'm RJ. On this blog you'll find an extreme thirst for 2D men, my abnormal life, art I enjoy, and my writing. I also reblog anything I'm interested in. #SorryNotSorry
This is an adult blog, so expect everything to be M-rated and higher.
About me
I go by RJ Mercy on Twitch, Bsky, and ko-fi. On Ao3 and Tumblr, I'm RJ Thirsty. Get it? I thought it was funny.
I'm the creator and lead writer for Doki Doki Digest. All related socials can be found on my carrd.
I'm just your neurospicy NB aromantic friend who thirsts, streams (info & schedule), and writes fanfic and other otome-related content.
I'm chronically ill. Sometimes I'll talk about it because it's part of my life, but it's very normal for me to be sick.
I play mainly otome games. I play mainly on mobile, but also on Switch and PC.
I'm obsessed with the Ikemen Series.
If you like what I do, send me a ko-fi. Membership and commissions closed atm. Throne wishlist. Steam wishlist. Cash App.
Tags
#rjthirsty fanfic - my fanfics, drabbles, and headcanons
#rjhyperfixate - my screenshots about otome
#rjthirsty characters - my OCs + ideas
#commission - my commission pieces
#rjthirsty deceit and decay - A Gilbert-centric (IkePri) dark fic (In Progress)
#rjthirsty ikepri au - An AU with gender changes (1 complete, 1 in progress)
#ikepri abc - The alphabet with 1 prince a month (Chevalier in progress)
Masterlists & Fanfic Under Cut
Ikemen Prince Fanfic Master List
Other Writing Masterlist
Deceit and Decay Masterlist linked in picture.
IkePri ABC Masterlist linked in picture.
Ikemen Princess Masterlist linked in picture.
2024 Writing Stats - Just stats for my first year in fanfic
5 Most Recent Fics Posted
Tempting a Tiger Part 3 - Gilbert/Dahlia (OC) NSFW
In Your Eyes - Ikevil Elbert/Reader
Shadow of Grief - Gilbert/AFAB!Reader
Cutting Teeth - child!Gilbert
All Tigers Have Stripes - Gilbert/FemMC & Chevalier/FemMC NSFW
Other Blogs
@kaseymalik-ikepri - RP OC blog
@artificial-infatuation - An Archive of Love
@dokidoki-digest - Doki Doki's Tumblr
@renegade-monolith - Creative Designs I make
Most Dividers by @cafekitsune
Some Dividers by me @renegade-monolith
F*ck the Patriarchy by @thecutestgrotto
Banners are created by me @renegade-monolith
Art, if not credited, comes from official sources.
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when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)
anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.
i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”
and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.
“What?” i say.
“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.
"pillow princess are just greedy" they are so generous??? they let me make them cum? and i get to listen to their cute noises??? what are u talking about..
Thinking about the Holmes story where a blind girl goes to him and is like "My fiancé is missing and he kept telling me the week leading up to his disappearance that he would always love me and come back for me,were anything to happen so I think he knew he was in trouble and I love him so much and I'm going to wait for him but I'd like to find him faster,ya know?" And Holmes figures out that it was this girl's parents to scam her out of money she was owed from an estate which she gave to them because she was still living at home,which she wouldn't be if she ever married,so her step father PRETENDED TO DATE HER for MONTHS to keep her from ever getting engaged to a real person and when Holmes finds out he confronts this man and this man is like "Well,you caught me! But it wasn't illegal:) so:)" and Holmes is like "No,but it was sickening and cruel and if she had a brother or good male friend he should post you up and whip you but she doesn't." And the man is like "No,she doesn't." And does the Victorian version of sticking his tongue out and Holmes is like "Well,I guess I'll do then!" And HE PULLS OUT HIS HUNTING WHIP.
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I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I got it into my head that I wanted Gilbert's and Roderic's relationship to be super toxic. Like, what if Gilbert really lost his good heart? And what if Roderic was more like a servant than a friend? Like, how fucked up could I make this dynamic?
Well, as always, I threw the idea to a (very drugged up) friend of mine (who is normally not drugged up) and she went crazy for it. (It was probably the drugs.) So I gave into the demons in my thoughts and wrote some stuff that puts both characters in a very poor light.
Wonderful Torment
Gilbert/Roderic
3500 words
Tags: Dubcon, manipulation, power imbalance, smut, come swallowing, thigh fucking, hand job, degradation, Gil's a total creep in this one, not really somnphillia.
Gilbert shoved his gloved finger between his teeth, biting the tip and pulling his hand free. It wasn't enough for him to simply gaze upon Roderic's underwear, his perverse pleasure came from touching the garments that often sat next to his servant's genitals. It came from knowing that Roderic's cock brushed along the same fabric that his fingers stroked right now. It came from escalation of his degenerate behavior towards Roderic and his belongings, pushing his desires into him and watching the other man give in to the inevitable.
It hadn't always been like this, but some years ago something flickered on in Gilbert and his sexual awakening became more than he could bear. Unable - and unwilling - to bring a woman into his bed, he turned his sights on the only person available to him, Roderic. He had brought Roderic in when they were still children, and while he wouldn't say he treated his servant well, Gilbert offered him a better life than he had had before and one he would never be able to achieve once he, himself, was no longer part of the picture.
And so, little by little, Gilbert had begun pushing the boundaries on their relationship as master and servant, and Roderic had given in each time. He knew he could just take Roderic if he felt like it, but there was very little enjoyment in that sort of thing. No, he wanted Roderic to be the puppet in his hand that obeyed his every whim and deep down wanted the treatment that Gilbert gave him.
His cock throbbed, held hostage by his trousers pinning him in an uncomfortable position. Hastily, Gil spit his glove out, catching it with his free hand and setting it on the dresser. Snatching Roderic's undergarments up, he fumbled with his pants and belts to release his erection, roughly tugging his cock free and delighting in his own manhandling of his manhood.
The tip of his dick dribbled his excitement, which Gilbert wiped away as he teasingly dragged Roderic's pilfered underwear over the head of his cock and snugly down his shaft. He wrapped his cock in the fabric, using it as a shield between his hand and himself, imagining rubbing himself against Roderic's clothed crotch instead.
It was a fantasy that he revisited often. The two men shared a bed; he had no reason for Roderic to sleep in another room when they were so close already. And if his illness took him in the middle of the night, Roderic would need to be the first to find him. But having Roderic's warmth pressed against him every night caused his desire for his servant to grow and seep into his subconscious, painting the picture of fucking him instead of his hand in his dreams.
The same thought circled his mind again and again, and while he hadn't yet let his cock touch Roderic himself, he had no qualms about rubbing against Roderic's clothing to climax, and had, in fact, done it a few times already.
Gilbert moaned, his eye sinking closed and his cock sliding into his covered and closed fist. His thrusts were slow, purposeful, titillating as he focused on the stimulation to his sensitive skin.
The thought of taking all other undergarments from Roderic's dresser and leaving this one soiled pair for his servant to wear had him squeezing himself in delight. His cum hardened into the fabric. Roderic having no choice but to keep his release next to his skin. Or would he forego the garment entirely? That was arousing in its own way.
He wondered what Roderic thought the first time he left a gift for him. He never mentioned it. Did he debate on what to do about it? He hadn't said anything the other times either. Was he keeping a collection? What a pervert.
Gilbert saw the way Roderic looked at him during dressing and changing and bathing. The way Roderic's eyes wandered over him. The way he glanced at his cock and would quickly look away. It flustered him. He had certainly been entertaining similar ideas long before Gil. What a deviant.
No wonder he didn't say anything about the sperm covered clothes Gilbert left him. He probably touched himself while holding the soiled material. Spilled his own seed on top of Gilbert's.
Roderic kneeled to Gilbert, who had dropped into his padded chair in his private quarters. His master had been overseeing the training of new troops, and Roderic, himself, had performed a few spars to demonstrate his combat expertise. Gilbert was easily winded. Despite his ailments, Prince Gilbert still managed to give some instructions, perfectly masking his illness and the exertion it took on him.
Did his groin ache just as much as Gil's did at night when they were nestled together? It had to be worse for Roderic. And if it wasn't, he'd make it worse for him.
Now, the two of them had returned to the only place Gilbert was able to drop his mask of a healthy general, and immediately he had fallen into the closest chair. Roderic took care of the tasks that had long become unspoken and expected for him to perform. At his master’s feet, he had unlaced one of Gilbert’s high boots and removed it already, working on the other one with practiced motions.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gil’s shoeless foot move as he pulled the laces on his other boot, but when Gil’s foot bumped his inner thigh, that was when Roderic glanced down, twitching out of surprise. Gilbert slid down in his chair to move himself closer and Roderic held perfectly still, uncertain what was taking place.
It became very clear a second later when Gilbert’s foot pressed against his flaccid bulge exactly what was taking place.
Roderic remained silent, unsure of what to do. Prince Gilbert had been acting more and more forward with him in recent months, and while it wasn’t completely unwanted, it was entirely inappropriate for a master and servant to engage in such a way. At first, when it had all begun, he thought if he ignored the overtly sexual displays that it would eventually come to an end on its own. However, ignoring Gilbert seemed to only drive him to be less subtle.
He had found come on his clothing, more than once, since then. Sometimes, while bathing, Prince Gilbert would openly masturbate with Roderic in the room, other times even while speaking with him. There were times he had woken to feel Gilbert in bed rubbing against him, and he didn’t dare investigate how many layers of clothing Gil had on. It wasn’t his place to question his master, and he made sure to keep quiet.
This was the first time, however, that Gilbert had directly made an effort to touch him in such a way, and it sent several different thoughts and feelings that Roderic was attempting to silently wrestle with spinning through him.
Flattery. A prince was choosing him, an orphan, a servant, and yes, while he was aware of what his presence was meant for, he was still just an aide to the First Prince. The things Gilbert did were troublesome and disgusting, but it was directed at him and that made him feel…
Unease. Roderic had never shown an interest in the First Prince, he was certain to keep his place. A thick feeling slithered over his skin at how wrong this was. He knew his master was taking advantage of his position by harassing him, but what could he do about it? It was his lot in life to put up with this.
Arousal. As Gilbert rubbed his foot into Roderic’s bulge, he could feel himself getting hard. It felt good. His body knew it felt good, and his body was responding to the stimulus. It wouldn’t be long before he’d find himself uncomfortable from the position he was in and the way Gil worked his crotch.
Roderic took a breath and returned to the boot he was removing from Prince Gilbert’s other foot, trying not to think too hard about the way the prince rubbed harder in response to his stiffening cock. He just wanted to finish this and be done with the chore. He didn’t want to think about how he edged his knees wider, clearly a slip of his footing under him.
Setting Gilbert’s second boot aside, Roderic knew that he couldn’t stand without giving himself away, and wouldn’t Gil love that? But Gilbert continued to grind into his groin and things were just going to become more difficult the longer this went on.
Keeping his head down, his eyes to the ground so his master couldn’t see the need in them, Roderic inquired, “Is there anything else Your Imperial Highness needs of me?”
“I haven’t given you any other tasks for today.” Gilbert stated, pointing out that Roderic had no reason to be leaving their shared room.
“No, of course, Prince Gilbert.”
“I’m considering an early bath.” Gilbert hmmed thoughtfully, finally pulling his foot from Roderic’s hard bulge.
“Understood.” Roderic rose from his knees to start the bathwater for Gilbert, one of his many jobs as Gilbert’s sole attendant. Thankful for his long cloak hiding his form, he didn’t have to adjust himself until he was out of sight. But as soon as his hand brushed against his excited cock, a pulsing desire burned in his pelvis.
Roderic slumped against the wall of the large bathroom. His back and hooded head laying on the cold stone, and his hand over his crotch palming at himself through his pants. This was wrong on so many levels, and the fact that he seemed to enjoy it had him feeling even more perverse than the fact that Gilbert seemed to enjoy doing it to him.
Roderic felt Gilbert moving in the bed behind him. Sometimes the First Prince would have nightmares. Sometimes Gilbert would wake in a panic, breathing hard and getting his bearings while Roderic’s job was to pretend like he never noticed. And so, as Gilbert moved around, and the bed shifted from his weight, Roderic waited, listening, attempting to discern what was taking place.
In his head, he told himself he had to stop rubbing his dick, but it just felt so, so good. Just another few seconds. Just another moment longer before he returned to work as Gilbert’s servant. This was so fucked up. He was so fucked up.
The covers shifted, Gilbert sliding down into them again - it was a familiar feeling Roderic was used to. Next, he’d feel Gilbert snuggling up behind him, trying to warm himself against Roderic’s normal body heat. And sure enough, Gilbert wiggled and shifted behind Roderic, moving closer to him. With eyes already closed, and events seeming to settle down, Roderic started slipping back into the darkness of sleep– until Gilbert cursed under his breath and Roderic felt the prince’s hand on his hip.
The feeling like something was very off gripped him, just as Gilbert gripped Roderic’s pajama bottoms and eased them down his thighs. Roderic held his breath. Was… he being undressed? Gilbert’s sexual advances had only continued to escalate, and while his first thought had been of his master’s nightmares, it seemed he should have recalled the several other times in recent months that he’d woken to Gilbert humping him.
Roderic bit his lip, trying to think of what to do. He should stop whatever was about to take place, but… if he said nothing, if he waited to see what Gilbert was planning to do, then… it would be okay to wait to see, right? He didn’t want to jump to any conclusions.
Something warm and wet poked his leg. Something stiff and cylindrical pressed into his thigh, slipping between his closed legs. It took him no time at all to understand what it was that Prince Gilbert was doing. It didn’t take much to understand that somehow, Gilbert had lubed himself up and his cock was now gliding between Roderic’s thighs. Did he really think he was sleeping? Since he pretended this long, was it too late to make it known he was awake?
Gilbert quietly cursed again, having pushed his dick fully between Roderic’s legs. Roderic could tell from the way Gil’s thighs touched his. Roderic could tell from the way Gilbert’s cock twitched between his legs. Fuck, it was hot, but gods, this was so very, very wrong.
Roderic held his breath, and behind him he could hear Gilbert breathing almost too heavily and too quickly for how still the both of them were lying. Was this it? Roderic still had his underwear on, and Gilbert was clearly just sitting there with his cock between Roderic’s legs. That was okay, right? It wasn’t so bad. If that’s all that was needed for his master to find some peace, it really wasn’t so bad.
His heart thudded hard against his ribs. He slowly let out a breath, trying to ease back into normal breathing. The room felt tense, like Gilbert was waiting for him to confront him. Roderic pulled the blankets up to his shoulder, clutching them to his chest. Just as slowly as he had pushed between Roderic’s thighs, Gilbert slid the length of his cock back out, pulling even the tip of his dick out from where he had nestled it.
A few seconds passed and Gilbert repeated the process. Slipping his lubed up cock between Roderic’s thighs at an agonizingly slow pace. It twitched and throbbed, and before long, Roderic felt his own cock twitching in response. Now he really couldn’t say anything. What type of person gets turned on by being taken advantage of while sleeping?
Inadvertently, he flexed his legs as he cringed in embarrassment, turning in on himself, and Gilbert groaned. Roderic drew in a sharp breath. The sound Gil had made was incredibly sexy, but he might have given himself away. Silence. No movement besides the throbbing of Gilbert’s dick and his own.
“It’s okay to keep sleeping,” Gilbert whispered. “Unless…” As if to propose the possibility of what could happen, Gilbert slowly drove his hips closer to Roderic and gave several small thrusts as he stroked himself between his thighs.
Gilbert pushed his chair away from his desk, heaving a dramatic sigh. It had been a long day full of paperwork and he was ready to find a way to work off the stress. His eye shifted to Roderic, waiting in the room for his next order. His attendant was so dutiful and obedient. It had been a struggle for a while there, but after some time and more than a few encounters, they had managed to find a rhythm that worked.
There was a war waging inside Roderic at the possibility and the shame that came from that thought. If he kept quiet, if he pretended to keep sleeping, he wouldn’t have to make a choice and that would leave him free of whatever took place. He squeezed his eyes closed, hyper aware of every heated breath Gilbert blew on his back.
Kicking at the ground, Gil turned his chair to give him room in front of himself - enough room for a grown man to kneel. “Come.”
He only needed to say one word and Roderic swiftly crossed the distance between them and dropped to his knee in front of Gilbert. “Give me a quick one.” Gilbert ordered.
Roderic began to work Gilbert's pants loose with ease from years of changing his master. Though now it wasn't for the reason of dressing or disrobing, it was for something the two of them had progressed to in an unnatural manner. It was for Roderic to be used by Gilbert for his own pleasure.
Roderic's hands were warm as they adjusted Gil's cock, pulling him free from pants and underwear - much warmer than Gilbert's own hands. Gil hated the way his cold fingers felt on his cock, which led to the perfect reason for Roderic to assist him with this matter. What was his attendant for if not assisting in things he found unpleasant?
It had taken some coaxing and coaching to get to this point, and Gilbert wanted more than the occasional hand job, but everything took steps to move a piece across the board. This was but one of them. To think that a few months ago Roderic wouldn't acknowledge him at all, and now he could get him to squeeze his cock for him. To stroke him to climax. How much more could he get if he continued advancing on him?
Roderic pumped Gilbert's dick. Despite the lack of lube, his hand slid over the soft skin of his cock so, very, nicely. Gilbert gently pulled back Roderic's hood to look down at the near twin of himself, his red eyes focused on Gil's cock and the way he was working it. So serious.
“You can enjoy it, Roderic.” Gilbert teased. “You don't have to act like you don't.”
Roderic glanced at Gil for a fleeting second before averting his gaze. Bingo. It seemed like it was time to push a bit further.
“I won't tell.” Gilbert promised. “I'm very good at keeping secrets, you know. Slow it down, I've changed my mind.”
His servant did as instructed, slowing his strokes on his shaft.
“I know you like it. I know you've been silently hoping for more.” Gilbert bit his lips to keep down a moan, enjoying the steady rhythm of Roderic's hand.
“You don't have to say it. Your silence speaks plenty. Even from the beginning. What did you do with those clothes of yours I soiled? You touched the dry cum, didn't you? Curious to know what it felt like. Wanting to experience it first hand. Did you fantasize about me?”
Gilbert chuckled. “You're such a pervert. You should have scrubbed them out right away, but you didn't.” Roderic squeezed on his current stroke and Gilbert let a moan slip free. It seemed he got a little excited about being degraded. Gil could work with this.
“You still have them, don't you? Hidden away to touch and hold against you while you keep your deviant desires to yourself. Roderic, I'm hurt you don't think you can be honest with me. Haven't we– nngh– been close for a long time? Haven't we done things that people who trust each other do? In bed. At night. When you pretend to sleep.”
Roderic's cheeks flushed. Gilbert wrapped his hand around Roderic's, taking the lead on pumping his cock. His hips moved in rhythm, fucking into Roderic's hand.
“Oh, yes, I knew you were awake. Nnh. Every time I rubbed myself against you, I knew you were waiting for me to go further. Mnh. Begging to be used more each time. Ah. And when I fucked your thighs the first time, I know you came, a sticky mess inside your own underwear.”
Roderic continued to stare at the ground, letting Gilbert fuck his hand.
“I let you touch me, Roderic. Hnnh. Let you get your hands on my cock. And you let me fuck between your legs and got off on it. Don't you want to come clean? Be honest that you want me inside you?”
“You don't have to pretend with me. I'll accept every dirty little perversion you have. Nngh. Look at me.”
Roderic snapped his red eyes to Gilbert immediately. Heat danced inside them, vulnerability as well. “Come here and open your mouth.” Gilbert's heady whisper came between panting breaths.
Roderic obeyed, leaning forward and opening his mouth. He understood what was about to happen. He moved directly to the head of Gilbert's cock as he squeezed Roderic's hand near the head of his shaft and milked his orgasm to fruition. Gilbert pushed the tip of his cock between Roderic's parted lips just as his seed spilled, spurting into Roderic's mouth.
“Swallow.”
The way Roderic's lips closed around the head of his cock before pulling slightly back so he could fully close his mouth was divine. Roderic swallowed dutifully.
I want to see more polyamory pride this pride month i'm serious. Stop being weird about people with multiple partners polyamory is awesome and beautiful and queer
I love this man so much i had to draw him! what do we think? :D i'm still getting used to finishing my artwork so theres lots of stuff for me to improve on.. but i'm determined to see how i'll do!
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Please, don't let this man near paint ever again 😂💦
I always thought: if Clavis tried out painting, he would have invented a new artistic movement so avant-garde, people would start appreciating him only posthumously.
the womanulet is at its best when it's put on somebody who isn't human so i get to play with their design. karken would be completely unrecognizable as a human woman, and at least a foot taller. i don't think these two have ever even seen him without a beard and mustache. meanwhile if you put deacon's clothes back on him, you'd hardly notice a difference.
"where is bergen" hopefully doing a die hard to save his crew from whoever did this to them.
uncensored on:
bsky | patreon | substar
this was also a sushi commission! and funnily enough, it came in while i was literally at lunch eating sushi. i love that this is my job.
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