life is a highway and I'm hydroplaning

@slow-motion-shadow it you

Reblog if you're transmasc, support trans men, or want a chocolate chip cookie

I need people to understand that the “No” should be much, much higher. 50% of children used to die before the age of 15, and we just went thru an airborne global pandemic. Everybody say “thank you” to vaccines and antibiotics, without which probably 75% of us would be dead.

aye can i get uh………ingredients on my burger

beetroot?

you want beetroot?

you want fucking beet root?

ingredience

this post feels exactly like a conversation you would witness in a dream and think was completely normal and then wake up and think “what the fuck?” for a single millisecond and then immediately forget about completely

this post is a dream where i killed eveyone else in the dream and i stand victorous

see my problem is if i “listen to my body” it literally only wants to lie down and take naps, all the time

Out of Touch Thursday

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

but im out of my head when you’re not around…

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

return to me my humble emoticon

i was speaking with a guy i work with and when leaving i said okay see you monday and he went oh no i wont be in monday. im going bald. and i said ?you're what? and he just repeated im going bald monday. wont be in

update: he didn’t show up on Monday and on Tuesday he was bald

why are scissors packaged the way they are it’s like they’re taunting us. Oh wow this is such a difficult awful packaging to get through that seems to cause physical damage to your hands as some sort of sick self defense mechanic, if only i had something to help get through it, something sharp perhaps

what sort of sick twisted game is it trying to play here

Reblog this loby when they least expect it.

if wisdom teeth are so Wise then how come theyre up in the gums where no one needs em huh. seems like pretty “Shit Idiot” teeth if you ask my humble opinion

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

does anyone else think about how brave all their friends are and get really emotional about it

I'm glad everyone is alive rn