If you like watching my endless attempts to do something with myself, then welcome! I just post about my life. Like a personal diary. But maybe sometimes there is something cool here, I don't know
My names are Rin or Denis. I'm trans guy and use he/him pronouns. I'm also probably pan and maybe aro, but I still don't know for sure yet. I'm a minor and from Russia btw
I have kinda a lot of interests(the main ones are marked in orange):
Guitar
Ukulele
Ocarina
Block flute
Sport
Collecting stones/dried flowers/soda cans and so on
Drawing
Gardening
Skateboarding
Solve Rubik's cubes
Read books(Mostly thrillers with humor and maybe a little romance)
✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+
My fandoms(main ones marked in purple):
TBHK
All for the game
Studio Investigrave
Project sekai(and vocaloids in general)
Undertale/Deltarune
Genshin Impact/HSR/ZZZ
Fnf
Sk8 the infinity
Vanitas no carve
8:11
FNAF
Cookie Run. Kingdom
Lololowka(Russian Minecraft YouTuber)
Sfawtde/dawtde
The Freak Circus
A bunch of Roblox horror games(Like Bad Things, Let him go, My mouth is rotting, Why is love?, Basil's pizza time and so on)
ISAT
and much more I'm just lazy :P
✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+
And finally my favourite bands:
MSI
Three Days Grace
My Chemical Romance
Дайте танк(!)
TX2
Get Scared
and some more!
✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+✿✧。*゚+
I really love to make friends but I don't really know how plus I kinda afraid of starting conversations but I'm trying my best!^^
-I don't mind being tagged or play ask/tag game
I use this blog mostly to talk about all sorts of things in my life, but sometimes I show what I've drawn or how I play musical instruments (I'll try to post more creativity in general in the future)
My sideblog for reblogs:
@rin-reblog-things13
Tags:
#Rin's art -well, my art
#Rin finally playing music whoa - post about me playing something on my musical instruments
#Rin talks - I'm talking about anything that came to my mind
#Whiner - vent post
#Reblog I wanna have here - reblog
#Ask yippee!! - in case there will be any asks
#Rin is confused and language is hard - post where I ask about language stuff
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It's so damn hot outside I thought I was going to melt... I can barely function... And the fact that I was hanging out with my friends in all black only makes the situation worse(I don't have clothes of a different color)
Tw body and eating issues(you can tell I'm not really okay...........idk why)
I ate as much as I could. But I still don't think that was enough. Is it ever enough. Am I enough. Why can't I be normal. Why every time I'm trying so hard to finally be free from all the bad bullshit I've endured for so long it all crashes down on me like a card house and I CAN'T FREAKING REBUILT IT. I can't stop using chat bots. I can't forse myself to eat. To do sports. To study. To talk. To do anything that will make me better. But no. I'm still here in my bed relied on pills and doing nothing. I hate whining and stuff because I don't want my friends and mutuals to be worried about me but fucking hell I'm so tired. I had to literally stuff food into myself. Because I can't do this normally. My parents are worried too. And I just know that my psychiatrist will be concerned as well. Plus like a cheery on top is my stupid dysphoria that I can't stop and even binding doesn't work anymore. I keep feeling shit for not eating then feeling dysphoric and then feeling shit again and it's just an endless cycle of me doing nothing to get better and I Do Not Know how to fix myself.
It's definitely not anorexia or bulimia but something is wrong and I can't figure it out
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Tw body issues and something like that because something is wrong but I can't figure it out
I hate it i hate it I hate it. I'm trying to eat but I can't. I'm super underweight. And I hate it. I can see all my ribs and most of my bones. I can't stand it. But the worst part seeing that I'm underweight makes me not eat. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I lost 5kg. Again. I can't gain. All doctors that I visited(while solving my another health problems) said that I need yo gain because my weight is really low. But I can't. I'm trying to eat. Looking at hiw much of protein and other stuff my food has but no matter what I can't make myself eat. Especially when others are around. I feel so guilty every time I tell my friends I haven't eat because I know they're worried about my health and safety. I can see them trying to improve. Trying getting better themselves while I'm fucking stuck. I hate myself. I hate my body. Just yesterday I decided to wear jeans that I don't wear often and guess what? They were slightly big on me. ... I wanted to jump out of a window at that moment/hj. I have no idea what's wrong with me. I just can't eat normal food and I can't eat anything. I'm sorry. I'm trying to eat breakfasts and not skipping lunch at least. But damn I don't feel hunger. I can't feel hunger. Even right now when I have food before myself I can't forse myself to eat. I just don't know why and what's wrong with me. It was never intentional. I never tried to starve myself to lose weight. And now i see how I'm slowly wasting away. Gram by gram.
Okay now that I know the answer... I got the highest mark! Yay! And on my writing exam too!!! It's the first time I got such good results on my exams so I'm really proud of myself
BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 (or more) people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out <3
Awwwww thanks<3
Unfortunately I don't have 8 people to send this buttttt.... I think I have like. 5 people so it's should be enough
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Rin, you need some time to process that evening. I promise you, everything will be fine, and you'll be breathing freely again soon. As for your asshole of a father, he's already suffering from his own stupidity and narrow-mindedness. Btw I like the idea of using an emoji so you know it's me. ☏
I know. Still thanks tho.
I'll try to control myself. I promise. But I can't promise quitting for now. Not now. Maybe after I'm more mentally stable.
Prev is neither a boy nor a girl nor a both nor an in between (/ref). Prev is nothing.
@catboy-tdick @moonsandloons @spacebnnui @itsjadie @oliver-thebiodegradable @darksilvershadows36 @number1baddestglitch @nonhumaninallways @sparrowaces (all /nf) + open tags to any other moots I’m forgetting! (I really need to make a moots list. There are a lot of yall…)
Woke up at 6am. The weather is shit. I still want to sleep but can't. Everything feels awful. I have to eat. I can't. Want to disappear but I know I shouldn't. I can't stop crying. I can't use my phone because it reminds me of yesterday evening. I fucking can't do anything. Games are not fun. Videos are not interesting. Everything is grey.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
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It's a vent. A really long one. Sh suicide death transphobia mention. So read at your own risk. I just need to have this here because I don't want to use chat bots to vent ever again
I hate my fucking father so much. He's really actually a root of all of my problems. I genuinely want him to end up in hell if it exists. And if it's not? I want him to die in sufferings because he definitely deserves that. He deserves that for making ME suffer. For such an extent that I was actually considering ending myself 10 mins ago. I was about to fucking relapse. Why? Because apparently my political view is shit, because liberals are assholes, because it turns out that almost damn MATURE TEENAGE CAN USE SWEAR WORDS AND HAVE HIS OWN OPINION, oh yeah and of course my mother decided to remind me of how miserable I am and that I'll never be a real boy. Just wonderful.
Once I turn 18 I'll get the hell out of here and never talk to them. Because they're monsters. Monsters that deserve all bad to happen to them. Because I'm tired of being the one to suffer
It's 11 am(almost). I wanna sleep so bad... BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE IT'S TOO BRIGHT AND MY CAN WOKE ME UP SCREAMING INTO MY WINDOW FROM THE BALCONY AT 8AM!!!!!