Stay Golden

Dude, I feel like I’m mature enough that this year I’ve realized how stupid that Valentine’s day crap is. Like I’m not gonna fucking lie, I still love doing romantic shit for people- but like why does it have to be Roses? Wouldn’t Valentine’s Day be more romantic if you just relaxed eatin’ Chinese takeout and Drinking’ beer? And instead of roses, you just did like… bouquets of pairs of cool socks? The past few times I’ve been in a relationship, I’ve been like- all out with gifts, flowers, making a nice meal. But I feel like that shit makes it even less personal? I feel like romance should be specific to the person, I dunno.

Oh, my god! Thank you. For one, I don’t like roses, because thorns. Like, here take this flower that can stab you. And, yes, they cut the thorns off, but then it just feels like a lie. I prefer simpler flowers, anyways. I will say I prefer the chocolate aspect, but even then, I think it’s ridiculous to pay a buttload of money for a box of chocolates. It does make it feel less personal. Like people feel the more they spend, the more they care. I’d rather cuddle all day on the couch, watch movies, have a good meal. 

“See, wouldn’t that be the fuckin’ dream? I feel like we’d have to totally commit, y’know- pretend we don’t understand these ‘strange modern contraptions.’“

“I can totally commit to the role, man. We need to fucking do this. I can confuse the shit out of my daughter– it’ll be great. I hope you’re being serious about this, because I am.”

“Okay… you got me there.” Riley conceded. “Don’t think I’m remotely capable of that. Hell, I don’t think I’d be able to do a single major at Yale. I mean, that shit is impressive. But… like, you already know that, huh.”

“Yeah, I do. Taking it you’re some kind of actor? Or are you just one of those people who likes to hang around Central Park reenacting scenes from history?”

“Believe me, I will. I’m thinkin’ maybe one of the grey ones would suit you.” Riley laughed. “Then we can roam the streets, saying Top ‘o the mornin’ to people, and confusing them but kind of making their days.”

“Grey huh? I’ll have to trust you on this one, man.” Benji laughed at the idea of roaming the streets dressed in the outfit. “Oh of course! People are going to think we’re time travellers.”

 “But theoretically, if time travel is possible then, how do you know I’m not? I could be the first person to try it. You say that we can affect the rate of which we go into the future? Well, maybe I’m from the 1700s but I managed to accelerate the rate with which I moved forward into the future, which meant that I wound up here, talking to you. The questions you’ve really gotta ask now is why, why am I here? Why am I talking to you?”

Kris rolled their eyes. “Because I’m an actual genius and going to save the world someday. I double majored in Astrophysics and Engineering at Yale University.”

“Nah, not a reenactor- just a plain ol’ actor, I’m afraid.”

“Aw, boring.” 

So, I’m guessin’ you’re curious as to why I’m dressed like a fuckin’ old-timey dude.

“You could say that based on my very confused expression. Though I was more so wondering if I’m stuck in some crazy movie where the guy gets thrown back in time and has to find his way out. In that case, I’m fucked.” 

So, I’m guessin’ you’re curious as to why I’m dressed like a fuckin’ old-timey dude.

Not gonna lie, the thought has crossed my mind.

“Aww, c’mon, not even a teeny bit curious? Like, shit, the reason could be really interesting. I could be a time traveller.”

“You could be. Theoretically, time travel could be possible. We know from the work of Hermann Minkowski that space and time are interwoven. They aren’t distinct; they’re connected. The problem isn’t moving through space. We can move up and down, forwards and backwards, left to right. No problem. It’s the movement of time that’s limiting us. We can only move forward with time, not backward. You can affect the rate of which you go into the future – faster or slower – but you can’t stop time and you can’t go back. Yeah, there are scenarios where you could go back. It’s a matter of looking at Einstein’s general relativity. 

If the universe were rotating and the expansion was accelerating, you could get into a rocket ship and go around and you would end up in your own past. There’s a few other scenarios, too. The issue is that while they’re scenarios that could happen, we don’t actually have them in our real universe. There is always something in nature that prevents travel to the past from happening. It’s something scientists are still trying to figure out. Bit hard when they don’t have laws that say why time travel into the past isn’t possible. We just know why it wouldn’t be possible in case-by-case scenarios.

–….but, I’m still going to go with you aren’t a time traveler.”

“That’s good to know- hell, I’d be surprised if you still questioned that. Aw, shit, I don’t have it right now- but not gonna lie, I could probably swipe you one. There’s a fuckton of these outfits  in the theater dressing rooms for the Pride and Prejudice production.”

“Not even joking, man. You need to fucking swipe one up for me. Don’t think the look would suit me as well as it suits you, but I’m digging the hat.” he laughed.