f*ck your canon, i don't need it

AND I WOULD READ FIVE HUNDRED MORE

JUST TO READ ONE THOUSAND FICS WITH THE SAME

PREMISE AS THE ONES BEFORE

DADA DADA (DADA DADA)

DADA DADA (DADA DADA)

I’m gonna be the one who’s reading your AU.

And when I’m finished, well, you know I’m gonna find

I’m gonna find another fic like that one too.

If you write soulmates, well, you know I’m gonna read

I’m gonna read that soulmate fic, that’s what I’ll do.

Then I’ll go back, I’ll go back to AO3

I always found it a bit odd. Hilarious, but it raised too many questions. When did Steve make these? Why did Steve make these? How did he manage to be so cheesy and overly sincere knowing how much crap he would get from the other Avengers for it?

Well, today my sister told me her headcanon. Picture the scene. Steve leans on the back of a chair, as above. Peter immediately launches into ‘So, you got detention…’. Cap blinks. Peter awkwardly tries to explain. It turns out Cap has no idea what videos he means, and neither do any of the other Avengers.

So they get in touch with the company who made them, and they swear blind that it was really the real Captain America, and that it all his idea. That he came in and said how much he wanted to help the youth of today.And the Avengers all lose it because someone is running around doing an unbelievably good impression of Captain America, they could have destroyed his reputation, they could have infiltrated the Avengers; and instead all they are apparently using it for is to make silly, embarrassing videos.

It’s completely baffling. Who could possibly be behind it all?

A mystery.

MY?????

eddie @ dan: hey do you know any illnesses that make you climb a tall tree like… super fast?

Compilation of Eddie calling his symbiote “Love”, “Darling”, and “Dear” from Venom 2016-18

(if you haven’t read Venom please read it its so Fucking tender and gay)

Now, repeat with me:

Freddie Mercury wasn’t gay, he was bisexual. Rami Malek is Egyptian.

Freddie Mercury wasn’t gay, he was bisexual. Rami Malek is Egyptian.

Freddie Mercury wasn’t gay, he was bisexual. Rami Malek is Egyptian.

Freddie Mercury wasn’t gay, he was bisexual. Rami Malek is Egyptian.

thinks he’s in hell because he put almond milk in his coffee

once had a panic attack at a make your own sundae bar

“exploring makes me nervous”

has what doctors call ‘directional insanity”

once got lost on an escalator

“I am VEXED, eleanor!!!”

(after eleanor and tahani confess their love to him within 30 seconds of each other) “I need to step outside for some air…and I will not be back…for many days” [runs tf away]

(about a clown mural) “well, that’s terrifying”

“i love you too, egg!”

spent an entire recess as an ~8 year old debating the sexist ramifications of whether or not he picked a girl for his team and acknowledged his “limited male perspective”

when he thought he wouldn’t have a soulmate in the afterlife: “my soulmate will be books”

“i have a stomach ache” (and variations thereof)

“just mulling the ethical ramifications of various soups”

(after being asked if he likes france) “well, they enslaved my country for 300 years, so no.”

“i’m not going to have sex with someone to get them to stop talking to me!!!”

”we’re gonna have assignments and quizzes and papers. it’s gonna be so much fun!!!”

was haunted for years by the fact that he lied to his friend about liking his ugly boots

clearly has a clinical disorder which makes it nearly impossible for him to make simple decisions like which soup to eat at dinner, and yet he never once hesitates to help eleanor even when his immortal soul is at stake (thatslovebitch.gif)

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