Alleyways

Thanks for your opinion—laid out in four additional messages I see no reason to reply to—and giving me something to chuckle about. I’ll just say that correcting assumptions can be embarrassing to the person who assumes them and I am gracious enough to to leave it at that.One of your comments, however, was interesting and accurate in some ways.“I don’t know if you know any half-white Koreans but sometimes their mom desperately tried to keep SOME Korean in them, so they give them Korean middle names but it doesn’t really matter. They will mostly be white inside and disconnected from being Korean. You will have a hard time preventing this. Assimilation, acculturation and erasure is a scary thing. Wearing hanbok won’t matter. The damage done will not be prevented by wearing hanbok.”Perhaps I am a good example of what you’re trying to illustrate, only my mother never forced anything on me. I’m ethnically Korean and culturally Canadian. I cared little about my ethnic heritage until a few years ago. I was (am?) as you say, “white” on the inside. Visiting and living there for a year, gave me the opportunity to appreciate part of my identity I previously ignored. Culturally, I am not Korean-born and aesthetically, I might stand out in a dominantly “white” Canadian community. I have, however, the unique privilege of spanning both cultures.

You say that “Assimilation, acculturation and erasure is a scary thing.” This can be true; forced cultural assimilation, cultural appropriation and the like are wrong and happen. We may roll our eyes at the spread of American culture, but even those influences, we must admit, can have positive impacts and are not necessarily “evil” as some may claim them to be. Just ask somebody who grew up, say, in Soviet Russia. 

You must also realize that, we live in the 21st century where borders are porous, the Internet and social networking redefine the meaning of culture, and mixed race marriages are quite acceptable—in most countries. We can’t isolate ourselves in cultural enclaves in hopes that it remains “pure,” that’s when racism and xenophobia take root. Rather, the best way to celebrate and ensure a culture doesn’t become “erased” is to share and teach cultural appreciation.

Getting my first mei tai wrap coincided with International Babywearing Week so I thought I’d indulge.

Being both a first-time mom and new to babywearing, I’d say there’s definitely a learning curve and it can take some time to find the “right” type carrier/wrap for you and your little one. I made the mistake of falling down The Rabbit Hole of babywearing and discovered there are some serious babywearers out there who have wrap and carrier stashes that add up to thousands of dollars—not to mention a dictionary of acronyms. They can tie there little one on with complicated pretzely configurations in mere seconds while I am all thumbs and have to work up the courage to put it on and practice around the house after watching youtube tutorials dozens of times. I’m getting better, I think. 

I found there are advantages and disadvantages to babywearing as opposed to throwing (not literally) her in the stroller . 

1. How do you go to the bathroom when you’re out with one of these things on?

2. It’s hard to ignore your fussy baby when they’re kicking and drooling on you. It’s not easy extracting them from the carrier while they’re crying and kicking. Not that I leave her in the stroller screaming, but sometimes you just have to finish what you’re doing—like paying at the checkout.

3. As I mentioned, it takes time to learn how to strap a living baby to yourself. I struggle as it is putting it on in front of a full-length mirror at home; in public, you’re on stage with no mirror, worried you’re going to drop your baby and demonstrate what a horrible parent you are. 

4. Yes, today’s gargantuan strollers can be a pain in the ass when you’re trying to maneuver down small aisles, avoiding displays and silently cursing the person pushing past you. But, it’s no small feat, squatting down to grab items on the bottom shelf without giving your kid whiplash as you lean forward (she’s still strengthening those neck muscles), or reaching for a can and not dropping it on her head.

When I do get it right, however, and she falls asleep all cute-like, I love it. She not only warms the “cockles” of my heart, but actually keeps me warm—I’m a reptile when it comes to regulating heat. I also look forward to the day she gets sturdier and I can ditch the stroller and take her on hikes.