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Something I've been thinking about was Hamza's monologue to Aalam Bhai just after his backstory chapter 1. He says that when he first came to Lyari, his motive was to just spend some time being a spy and then find some excuse and find a way back to his family. And that changes with 26/11.

I'm so curious about that line. It makes sense as well, as Jaskirat's backstory or trauma doesn't have anything to do with terrorism or Pakistani attacks on India, what if he'd just mainly said yes to being a spy because it's better than being hanged? Also because that way his family would get some money? What if he'd spent those early days in Lyari resentful, without conviction in his mission, just floating by and hating his life? What if he'd been lowkey resentful of India, where his family hadn't gotten justice, where he'd had to save his sister himself and get sentenced to death for it? What if he'd been resentful of Ajay Sanyal, who'd taken advantage of his circumstances to make a weapon out of him, dangling his family's happiness and the chance to live as a carrot while sending him away to this brutal world in another country? Every night he'd dream of running away, leaving everything, sneaking to his mom, sister, pinda. After all, the world kept taking everything from him, his body soul life freedom, when does it stop? he'd ask himself, When would jaskirat get to have a life?

What if things began to change slowly? As he spends more days with Aalam Bhai, he starts to form a human connection for the first time since his family was attacked (so a gap of 4 years). Still, he's restless and demotivated, his life in a purposeless limbo with nothing happening, nothing to distract from all his pain and grief. He's so restless and antsy he begins to feel like he's losing it, by the time the opportunity to save Naieem happens, Hamza is almost desperate to escape the limbo.

Then he gets into Rehman's gang and he actually starts enjoying their company. Having fun and playing football with Donga, Uzair etc, it's the first normalcy he's had in four years! A big part of him envies the gangsters their lives, they could live freely, selfishly. They could protect their family with all the ferocity and put them above everything else in the world without being given a death sentence for it. Rehman takes revenge for his son and that helps him win an election, but when Jassi had taken revenge for his own family, he'd been given a death sentence. These gangsters, they got to be selfish, they didn't have to put duty or sacrifice over their own families and lives. In many ways, Hamza envies them, in many ways, its too easy to be one of them, almost natural. Its a simpler world, a simpler life, no balidan here, only khudgarzi.

Hamza doesn't forget his mission but he starts enjoying being Hamza Ali Mazari, someone who can live freely and not be burdened by higher causes. He thinks he can continue to live like that while passing on intel to India, it's not as bad a life as his life had been after that incident with his family. Jaskirat starts to slip away a bit to make way for Hamza, Jaskirat only existed in the background now to gather intel, it was too painful to be Jaskirat after all, there was no hope for him. It's so much easier to be Hamza.

Then, 26/11, everything changes, everything that had gone into the background with these guys forces its way to the front, no way to look away. Hamza sees Rehman, Uzair, Donga, all the rest hooting and cheering as they watch innocents die in India, no different than the MLA in the beginning of the movie.

this used to be a common knowledge

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shakhsiyat | about the author:

​Name: Nazma (or call me Nazm) ✧ Age: 24 ✧ Zodiac: Cancer ♋︎

Identity: A Desi soul lost in the rhythm of verses.🦢

​“Main akela hi chala tha jaanib-e-manzil magar, log saath aate gaye aur kaarvan banta gaya.”

— Majrooh Sultanpuri.

🪻dastoor |

navigation.

🦢Fanfictions; Dhurandhar

🔮= finished fic. ~ = non finished fic.

Rehman x Reader:

🔮The Wolf at the Threshold pt. 1 2 3

🔮The Weight of the Veil

~ Sultan ka Moti pt. 1 2 3 4

Hamza x Reader:

~ Calculated Glances pt. 1 2 3 4 5

🔮Tip Tip Barsa Paani

Major Iqbal x Reader:

🔮Kafas-e-Iqbal pt. 1 2 3 4 5 epilouge

~ Sultan ka Moti pt. 1 2 3 4

~ Aetbaar-e-Zulm pt. 1 2 3 4

Uzair x Reader:

🔮 Malkiyat pt. 1 2 3

~ You know what else is big? pt. 1

🦢Fanfictions; Ranveer Singh

Alauddin Khilji x Reader

~ Oas aur Angaar pt. 1 2 3

🦢Fanfictions; Arjun Rampal

Dev Khanna x Reader

Announcement

~ The problem with you pt. 1

​💭 khayaalat | headcanons;

​Dhurandhar Headcanons- In Bed

Dhurandhar Headcanons: Size Difference / Short S/O

Dhurandhar Reactions - Reacting to your crying because they are wounded

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ooooh okay let's go:

1) Thalia wasn't in the camp she's been in a coma for years and in an act of desperation to get good press Zeus announces she's showing signs of waking up (she's not) (and it doesn't out shine the national manhunt at all) and then when she Actually wakes up a little over a year later the public doesn't believe the news at first bc of it. like they see the front page news about her miraculous recovery and the general public is like "what did Percy do this time"

2) the concept of Jason still getting raised by wolves- normal, non magical wolves this time- is KILLING ME!!! when he eventually gets discovered and rescued, Hera is his biggest supporter in helping him get readjusted to society and everyone is genuinely shocked that she's not Just doing it for good press

3) Hades actually takes custody of Nico and Bianca right away and it's not a big news story. when the press find out about HAZEL, HOWEVER,

4) Mr. D is still In The Family he's just cut off financially and out of the will and he literally does Fine for himself like he's rich in his own right between the strawberry wine vineyards and the camp he owns and runs. but every time he turns up to a family event he acts like he's a street beggar and has the hardest life imaginable. very 'woe is me I'm the only one of my siblings that can't afford TWO yachts' energy lmfao.

5) Kronos had Percy and Annabeth specifically kidnapped bc they were the two weakest spots in The Family- no one knew about Percy, so no one was protecting him, and while Annabeth grew up around the family because of her mom's job she wasn't Related to them and they never thought to extend any protection to her. Grover just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time bc he was tagging along on Percy and Sally's vacation and while Ares was okay with kidnapping and arson for his evil grandfather he decided to not be down for murder. this is why he never killed Percy's annoying ass during their cross country trip even when Percy kept fighting him and ruining his various bombing plans. AND he was mad as hell that Percy kept getting all the credit and being called the terrorist bc none of the reporters seemed to notice Ares was even there lmao

6) Annabeth was definitely missing for at least a week before Athena saw her on the news and Realized lmfao Frederick WAS trying to find her but he was more scared of telling Athena than he was for their daughter's safety

7) Amphitrite was mad about. well everything. but when she found out Sally murdered Gabe she was happy to help cover it up lmao she had a BLAST. she's like damn I married into such a shady family I can't believe I haven't had the opportunity to do this yet

8) Triton and Kym HATE Percy the beef is so immediate but Tyson adores him and Rhodes, who doesn't live at home, is nice when she stops by. Percy is literally more scared in this fuck ass family than he was when he was kidnapped lmao

9) Apollo keeps trying to get Percy to do an 'exclusive interview' with him and Poseidon keeps literally chasing him off

screaming!!

Apollo's only like in his 20s in this and publicly he's just taking a gap year before starting medical school bc Zeus doesn't wanna admit he 'had to' cut off ANOTHER kid. but this means he can't control the narrative of whatever the hell Apollo's doing when it hits the press, so it's all like

Apollo Olympian spotted dumpster diving, seemingly confused of his surroundings

Apollo Olympian has reportedly kidnapped the 12 year old daughter of his father's business rival

Apollo Olympian and cousin Percy Jackson-Olympian seen in high speed car chase with the missing 12 year old girl in the front seat

Apollo Olympian comes clean about affair he had with one of his father's business partners when he was only 16!!

CEO accused of sleeping with Apollo Olympian says the then teen tried to kill him, disputes claims of a relationship

Breaking News: the 12 year old Apollo Olympian kidnapped is actually his cousin who was kidnapped years ago??

like just shit like that and everyone's losing their minds but the only people in the family he has regular contact with are Percy and Jason (minors, not allowed to talk to the media to clear his name) and Thalia (keeps encouraging him to be even more destructive). Artemis is M.I.A. on some "wellness retreat" in the Mediterranean but it later comes out Zeus is keeping her there to be an ass. the only person who really CAN go to the press to explain he's not actually on a crime spree is Rachel, but as she's not In The Family and also regularly creates scandals of her own out of boredom, no one really believes her lmfao.

eventually Apollo gives up and posts like a six hour long YouTube video detailing all the crimes he's caught the Triumvirate red handed of, he has a full blown conspiracy corkboard behind him and looks like he hasn't slept in a year, everyone is losing their God damn MINDS!! by the time his story culminates with him talking about having to fight a giant snake the general public already have their pitch forks and torches out.

More Than Pretty by ashes0909 - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 5,001)

Shane has never thought of himself as pretty. Ilya has always known better. When Fabian makes a suggestion, Shane agrees to try something new. Shane’s confidence hits hard, and Ilya forgets how to function.

'Cause, Baby, I'm Jealous by haveagreatday - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,536)

Logically, Shane Hollander knows Ilya would never cheat on him.

But, something about this guy is setting off Shane's insecurities like the Eiffel Tower on New Years' Day.

Ilya makes up for it, of course, in the best way he knows how.

Still, don't fucking do it again.

Multi-POV story.

calls to you like the wild geese by you-cant-spell-subtext-without (ayreisha) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 7,205)

Ilya’s feeling a little silly about the thought in and of itself, because everyone owns black t-shirts. This is a perfectly normal, ordinary article of clothing, and there is no reason for Ilya to be so magnetized by it that he is now reaching inside Shane’s suitcase to remove what is a completely innocuous black cotton tee that is clearly something Shane has always owned. The same kind that Ilya also owns, and ‘casually’ tossed at Shane when Shane was lying delectably shirtless in his bed a few months ago that godforsaken day in Boston Ilya can't bring himself to stop thinking about.

Chert, Shane hasn’t just infected Ilya with his boring, his never-ending stream of consciousness mind-babble must be contagious, too.

Ilya picks up the folded shirt and immediately forgets to be concerned about The Hollander Effect on his nervous system, because - yes, that’s definitely the scent of Ilya’s fabric softener lingering on those cotton fibers. He knows that for a fact because he can’t ever find his favorite brand in the US, so he always brings a case from Russia when he returns from a visit.

Okay, so Shane kept Ilya’s shirt.

And neglected to wash it.

That’s hot, right?

Do you want a house tour? by frozen_applesauce - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,579)

Hayden's first thought after opening Shane's bedside drawer is: That’s a lot of condoms. His second thought is: I thought Shane was a virgin. The third thought doesn’t come because Hayden sees something dick-shaped and his brain shuts down.

— Snooping through Shane's drawers, Hayden finds more than he's prepared for.

Can I Dream For A Few Months More? by Swirlingdust - (Rating: Not Rated, Words: 4,203)

Ilya is depressed, suicidal and lonely. After a few too many drinks he gets the courage to drown himslef in the filthy river that flows through Boston. The world is cruel and Ilya was done with it.

Shane shows him the kindness that he thought was dead and helps him.

a different kind of love by illegaltofu - (Rating: G, Words: 1,820)

"None of what you have gone through is your fault, do you hear me?”

He knows his voice is going to break as he speaks his next words, but he says them anyway. “But my fa-my father-“

“Was wrong.” She scoots just a bit closer to him, and when he doesn’t pull away, she wraps her arms around him so fiercely he can’t help the sob that escapes him, and he clings to her like she’s his mother. or

Yuna tells Ilya it’s not his fault. Because he needs to hear it.

The Mysterious Mrs Jane Rozanov by Frostberry - (Rating: G, Words: 3,500)

When Ilya signs with the Ottawa Centaurs, everyone wants to know why he moved. Turns out, he married a Canadian. Her name is Jane. 

Or so the team believes - because Ilya never bothers to correct them.

don't you need me like i need you now by if_not_now_tell_me_when - (Rating: T, Words: 1,375)

"'I’m not going to shave your head. Unless you keep moving. But you need a trim, your hair is turning into a mullet.” Shane runs his fingers through the silky strands again, inhaling the citrus scent of Ilya’s shampoo. For a moment, he’s tempted to bury his face in Ilya’s curls rather than cut them.

'What is mullet?'

'It’s uh - you know, business in the front, party in the back. Short in the front, long in the back.'

'This sounds terrible. Why would anybody want this?'

'They don’t. That’s why I’m saving you from it. So, stop squirming.' Shane gently tilts Ilya’s head back to center, his fingers lingering against Ilya’s jaw."

Stupid Canadian Wolf bird... Wait No, That's a Russian Werewolf by Ineffable_Rivalry (I_Ineffable_Idiot_t) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 4,420)

The glint of metal caught his eye and he looked down then froze at the golden crucifix hanging from the creatures neck. He knew that necklace, and he realized why the wolf felt familiar. He knew those eyes. “... Ilya…?” he whispered, it sounded stupid even to his own ears, but the way his husband had disappeared? The fact that this wolf had his eyes and his mother’s necklace? It had to be. The wolf, Ilya, nodded. Once, hesitant. Another soft whine.

Or... Ilya is turned into a werewolf and Shane finds out

Hollanov RPF by Lune_Bleue22 - (Rating: Mature, Words: 1,206)

Lily: You read Hockey RPF? Jane: I don’t think so? Is it about strategy? Lily: Yes, strategy to suck other player’s dick Jane: ???