Thought of doing something different today and came up with this amazing thing. It's like the words are already there written down and I'm just searching for the ones that reflect me.

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AnasAbdin

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Claire Keane
Today's Document

if i look back, i am lost

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@rhymist
Thought of doing something different today and came up with this amazing thing. It's like the words are already there written down and I'm just searching for the ones that reflect me.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I'm unlearning how to go with pleasing everyone around and how to sit with an empty mind for the chemicals that still burn on my blood though I left them months ago, drives my eyes to visit the corners of forbidden streets where people express their unresolved habits. And now it's so much chaotic and I'm too tired of this, everything that my nerves could feel, everything that the chemicals kept hidden from me, I'm lost and found, I'm dead and breathing, it's all confusing and I'm still unlearning how to live in a house which is less home and more a dome.
Who else do you know better
Other than the one in the mirror?
What else you want to win
More than your fear?
Today's Poem :
Maybe I'm a little late
For everything good life has
To show me
A little late in falling asleep
As I know
I'm needed to stay in the dark
A little more
For I realise I'm yet to cope with it
To eventually win the light
.
Tonight's Poem :
The pain that I've learned to live with
Is still a pain.
If you've confused me with a metal,
That is weak red and is a chance
To beat again and again
to reach its pleasing shape,
Then oh I'm sorry
For I've failed to be what you think I am.
As I'm water, on fire.
You can boil me to the level you desire
But I'll be failing to take other shapes
Except to evaporate.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Today's Poem :
Wish I could walk
on a less travelled road
And not be afraid of
Being alone.
Wish I could fly away
From my beloved ones
To end the act of not
Being alone.
Today's Journal:
Night, all night
I dream of sunshine:
Caressing my skin
And leaving me warm.
Sun oh! Sun
My nerves are getting numb,
In your denial to release me
From these cold nights,
As the wrath of your rise
Makes my skin burn.
Today's Journal :
Some found love on one rainy day
Some await for seasons to change
Love has found me on one gloomy night
in a forbidden street
With no street lights.
Today's Journal :
When it's hard to explain
And
too tired of complaining
Solace we search
Under the veil
Of numbness though
It's paining.
Journaling Day 6 :
Though heartbreaks
Aren't really breaking
Of heart
Still it feels
The emotional pain
Has waved through the nerves
And now it's hard
To even move my limbs.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Journaling Day 5 :
I wonder the power of a lie.
At first it sounds so soothing
Genuinely please the ears
While stays in the rooms
For indefinite years
No boundaries at all
Spreads like a wildfire
Whispers behind you
Says your beliefs are the liars.
Journaling Day 4 :
I've known myself for more than 25 years,
Isn't it enough to understand somebody?
If yes, why somebody in me
Still makes me cry
& I couldn't know why?
Why even if I decide
A step towards a new life
She acts stubborn sometime?
She is so fragile
Could barely face the world
And keeps hiding inside.
I wish I could know her more,
& tell her
She isn't alone.
Journaling Day 3 :
Every night, as the darkness takes control
The mind & me, sink in a debate;
What my existence wants?
While I slip into an insomniac episode.
But see how stronger the dawn is
The eyes slowly dissolve in a deep sleep
As the debate is still a draw
And all the chaos withdraw.
Journaling Day 2 :
Dear best friend,
We've known eachother for a long time
But since you're moved to a faraway land
A lot has happened
And my experiences has changed me a lot.
Even my panacea is not same anymore.
Now that we talk and share
I feel the comnection is teared
I seek some help unfamiliar
The one you seek doesn't catch my ears.
I wish we would have never be grown
And go back to a time of our own.
“The man with the clear head is the man who frees himself from fantasy and looks life in the face, realizes that everything in it is problematic, and feels himself lost. And this is the simple truth—that to live is to feel oneself lost. Whoever accepts this has already begun to find himself, to be on firm ground. Instinctively, as do the shipwrecked, he will look around for something to which to cling, and that tragic ruthless glance, absolutely sincere because it is a question of his salvation, will cause him to bring order into the chaos of his life. These are the only genuine ideas; the ideas of the shipwrecked. All the rest is rhetoric, posturing, farce. He who does not really feel himself lost is without remission; that is to say, he never finds himself, never comes up against his own reality.”
—
José Ortega y Gasset, The Revolt of the Masses

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Journaling Day 1 :
It was a night of sweet dreams,
Brought a dawn of loss;
Somebody I've known.
Now a night of moisten eyes,
Drunken in a muse of seperation;
Somebody I've known.
...