i'm faded —

Miserable-ness is being sick for the past week and a half and not being able to properly prepare for work. I tried to sleep for two days while the shop was closed, but I know working is a bit more important and Spring is so close– though it ‘apparently’ has already started. I need to make sure everything’s ready for Proms coming up.

Maybe I should invest in something that physically keeps me upright while working because I’ve felt something awful lately.

[PM]: Have you been submitting, Cordie?

MAXIM: i don't hate you. i don't think i ever will.

MAXIM: enjoy

MAXIM: that's all i care about. your safety. mason'll keep you safe, but you wouldn't be safe if you went back there.

MAXIM: i'm sorry i can't love you- i'm sorry i'm not interested in romantic love with you.

MAXIM: but as long as you're safe that's all that matters to me.

RHIANNON: i don't blame you.

MAXIM: you're not going back to california and that's final. do you understand me?

MAXIM: don't you fucking dare.

MAXIM: dammit now i'm pissed again

MAXIM: you are to NEVER show your face to that house, do you understand me?

MAXIM: you shouldn't even THINK about that shit

MAXIM: man, fuck you then! like, god, after everything- even hurting me like this

MAXIM: you still have the AUDACITY to say you're going back home if shit doesn't work out after leaving me for my brother?

RHIANNON: NO. you don't get to talk to me this way. I LOVE YOU. All I ever wanted was to be with you from the moment we started sharing everything together back with Miss Lianne.

RHIANNON: i wanted more than anything to just be more but i know it wasn't possible. and it just.. killed me.

RHIANNON: i just want to be loved. i want someone to hold me and night and not be gone when i wake up in the morning. i want to go on dates and not just be fucked all the time.

MAXIM: well, it doesn't really feel like that, but if you say so, rhiannon.

MAXIM: i'll still be ur friend i guess

MAXIM: good luck getting in the same situation cordelia landed herself into

MAXIM: he's never going to claim another person, and if you find yourself stuck, don't come crying to me.

RHIANNON: trust me. i have full preparations of going back home if worse comes to worse and he decides he doesn't really want me.

MAXIM: yeah, i would have fucking preferred that. not the way it was actually told to me.

MAXIM: i wouldn't have. i told you to find a dominant.

MAXIM: like am i pissed it was my BROTHER? yeah, sure.

MAXIM: am i now like 'why am i even doing any of this recovery then'? yes, duh.

MAXIM: but it...

MAXIM: it just hurts more that you wouldn't even tell me

MAXIM: did you have ANY intention on texting me or reaching out to me about this topic?

RHIANNON: Yes!! I was going to talk to you!

RHIANNON: You are going through this recovery so you can have a healthy life with your Domme and maybe a real submissive.

RHIANNON: You'll find a submissive that doesn't expect you to be in love with them.

RHIANNON: But i was so in love with you I tried to give you the world every single day and it turned me into nothing. And i'm sorry that Sir came to tell you but I couldnt' do it myself. I never would have left and you would still have me.

MAXIM: You should have come to me to tell me. Not Mason.

MAXIM: I made him get some of your shit. The rest of it, I'll mail over or something, I don't care.

RHIANNON: He is the Dominant. He felt he should've been the one.

RHIANNON: What was I supposed to say? Sorry, Master, I really have feelings for your brother and I want to explore a relationship with him?

MAXIM: were u ever gonna tell me anything or just like lmao fuck me i guess?

RHIANNON: Don't do this, Maxim, please.

:3 Okay, but like, full disclosure or whatever the heck it is: last time you kissed me on the cheek I couldn’t stop blushing for like twenty minutes. So, there’s that. 

You’re the coolest, Honeybee, of course I do! Plus, you don’t ever tell me to stop talking when I get too excited about stuff in the store. Ummm, I like to think so? I don’t have anyone to show it off to right now but hopefully that’ll change soon. I got this new little tail I can clip to my belt loops, though!!! I think it’s literally the coolest and I can be a little fox wherever. 

You’re so cute, Kit. Don’t tell me though! It’s going to be enough reason to give you more cheek kisses, silly.

Honeybeeeeeeee! There is a sale indeed, and you should totally come check it out super soon. It just started today so it’s like, super duper new. 

But between you and me, I totally saw some gear you’d look super pretty in and may or may not have put it in the back so you could get it. If that’s okay? 

AHHHH I’m going to kiss you!! :3 :3 :3