just give me one more shot so i can fuck it up

rafe cameron x afab!reader - outer banks

gym routine - smut, season 1, vouyer, fingering, overstimulation, pet names, toxic relationship

you’ll be my dirty little secret - smut, pre canon, reader is best friends with sarah, toxic relationship, pet names

rafe cameron x ftm!reader - outer banks

You had moved in years ago and yet, as you lay in Rafe’s bed, it feels like seeing the room for the first time all over again. The walls are an off white that go right along with the equally as boring gray curtains, even the comforter and sheets are a solid blue color. You’d think this was the guest room if Rafe’s dresser wasn’t scattered with colognes and jewelry alike atop it.

“Whatcha looking at?” He asks up against your ear from behind, hand skating down your ribs under the t-shirt you have on. You suck in a quick breath and focus back in on the room around you, as best you can anyway.

“Your room. It’s plain.” He hums along and moves his hand further down.

When you moved in after Rose and Ward’s wedding, you were a different person. One that wore skirts and crop tops and dresses and fucking hated themselves. It wasn’t til Rafe started to pay attention to you in a not-innocent way that you realized what was so wrong with you. You still remember the first time he shoved you against the wall and muttered how ‘handsome’ you had looked after working out in one of his shirts. He took you apart with your fingers that time.

Like he seems to be wanting to do now, his fingers pressing against the damp spot of the outside of your boxers. His boxers. Well- used to be his boxers. After you had come out Rafe had basically thrown his entire old wardrobe at you, telling you that he already had style so this way you didn’t need to find your own. You think he just likes to see you walk around in his clothes, and you know he likes when you wear his boxers. It’s hard to ignore the glint in his eyes and how much harder he pulls at you when he notices his own initials scrawled onto the waistband of the briefs.

“You wanna redocrate it for me?” You lean back into Rafe’s chest and let him trail his free hand up to your chest. The scars that sit there aren’t your favorite thing to acknowledge but he’s always good about skipping right past them to tug at your nipples. There was a stretch of time after top surgery where you had no feeling in them but it’s come back slow and they’re almost as sensitive as they used to be. Rafe is more happy about it than you are, he’s always loved paying attention to your chest no matter the state of it.

“Maybe add some more color.” There’s a moan trapped somewhere in your throat but you really don’t want to let on how well this is working for you yet. You know he can feel how wet you’ve become and how hard your dick is but becoming a sloppy mess in minutes just feeds Rafe’s ego. That’s the last thing you want.

“Like yours?” When you had come out you had done an entire transformation of your room and Rafe was right next to you for the whole thing. He basically dictated it. You wouldn’t mind repaying the favor.

“Would you let me?” He considers it for a real moment, hands stilling over your boxers and everything. If you didn’t just smoke a joint with him you would’ve been worried he was moving so slow.

“I’d need to approve it before you changed anything. I wouldn’t mind a new room though.” His lips press heatedly to your neck, Rafe having to lean down a little to reach the point he wants to. You used to hate how much taller he is than you because it made you feel too girlish and small but you’ve grown to enjoy how he bends to your body. He fits himself around you, curling up just to have skin to skin contact with you, pressing his body down against you even if it’s inconvenient for him to be in that position for a long time.

“We should paint your walls a color, may- maybe green.” You stutter the last part out over a choked breath. Rafe twists your nipple just as he finally dips his other hand into your boxers. You jolt when he brushes your T dick just barely, it’s always so fucking sensitive.

“Green is nice. What about a mirror in here?” There is a mirror on his dresser already but when Rafe slips a finger into your wet cunt you can’t do much but nod in agreement.

“Maybe on the ceiling?” His voice drops low and gravely like it gets when he’s high. You groan at both the thought of having a mirror over you as you fuck and the feeling of Rafe starting to lick at the shell of your ear. Your hair just got cut a few days ago, per Rafe taking you to the mainland so you could see his barber. He didn’t even get his own hair cut.

“Yeah- yeah, that’d be hot.” A smile forms on Rafe’s that you only know about because it’s pressed into your neck.

He shifts suddenly, switching your positions so you have your back to the pillows against the headboard and he’s slotted between your thighs. You’ve already fucked once today, it’s the whole reason you’re even in his bed, but he’s staring up at you like he wants more. You know better than to try and fight him.

“Talk to me about what you’d change, I wanna hear it.” You honestly hadn’t thought about it too much, just a passing thought of your stoned and fucked out brain.

“New lights, not as florescent.” They’re the same ones that came with the house and you hate them, so does Sarah, you both had them changed the second you moved into Tannyhill but Rafe never bothered. He hums against you anyways, mouth pressed into your thigh as he hooks two fingers into the waistband of your underwear to slowly pull them down.

“A new dresser, your clothes barely fit in the one you have.” The drawers barely close even with the amount of clothes Rafe’s given you over the years. Another hum but this time it pulls a moan from your throat, Rafe’s face stuffed against your dick so close that the vibration of his lips sends a shock of arousal through you.

“Fuck- Rafe please.” You beg and he very rudely, pulls back some. You let out a whine you would’ve been embarrassed about if this was back when you and Rafe first started fooling around but you can’t be bothered to care about now. Rafe always says he likes when you get pouty and make noises.

“I told you to tell me about the room plan, you gotta keep talking or I stop. Got it, princy?” Your cheeks flush red at the nickname but you nod along, knowing far too well that arguing his commands gets you nowhere but a serious case of blue balls.

“Yes, yes sir. Just go gentle I’m still sensitive from earlier.” He had bent you over the end of the bed and fucked you so hard you’re shocked the pair of you didn’t fall through the damn floor. He nods seriously and goes back to ghosting breaths over your dick.

“I- I wanna get you some posters or something, personalize it. Maybe a candle. Or- or a diffuser like Sarah has.” You’re rambling absolute nonsense now but Rafe finally presses his tongue to your cunt so you count it as a win. He’s slow about it, circling the rim of your hole, barely dipping in further before he pulls out and licks a long strip up to just below your dick. He’s always such a tease when he’s high.

“I could steal Sarah’s.” He says but goes straight back to your cunt before you can complain about him stopping.

“No, no, that’s mean. I’ll buy you one. Fuck Rafe- god- I wanna-.” A louder moan rips through you and you have to stop talking to grab at Rafe’s hair and force him in closer. He thankfully doesn’t keep you waiting and starts to suck your cock, flicking his tongue over the bundle of nerves that’s grown a generous amount since you started taking testosterone.

You’re more than thankful for the changes the drug has given you but even more than that, you basically come undone anytime Rafe mentions the way your body has evolved. He’s been fucking you since before you started transitioning so he’s got to see up close and personal how much has changed. You don’t think you’ll ever get over the first time he sucked you off since starting T, your thighs shook so hard Rafe basically held you against the bed for half an hour just to get them to stop. It’s no different now as you lock your thighs around his head and start to ride his face.

“Fuck, fuck, Rafe- fuck m’so close-!” His hands wrap around you to the front of your thighs like a vice as he hauls you even closer. You’re arched just the smallest amount off the bed, chasing his face like he’s going to disappear if you aren’t bordering on suffocating him.

“Yeah, yeah, just like that-!” You start to nod along as if he can even see your face but you know he can’t, the only thing visible when you look down is his grown out hair between your plush thighs. And it’s such an obscene sight seeing him be swallowed by your legs with his fingers going white as he holds onto you so tight- it’s all it takes for you to fall off the edge and cum with your legs trembling.

“Fuck, look at the mess you made baby.” Rafe’s chin is shiny and dripping with you when he finally pulls away. He’s looking up at you with sharp eyes that only soften when you blush at his words, you can tell he still wants more.

“It’s your fault.” You mutter a little pathetically and Rafe laughs softly before pulling you into a kiss.

“If only we had that mirror so you could see yourself right now.” He murmurs against your lips, hand finding your cheek to rub his thumb at the heated skin there.

“Shut up.” It’s a whine that only urges Rafe on. He really does love seeing you fall apart like this, so needy for him.

The bedroom door closes as discreetly as you can mange, a smirk spreading over your face when Rafe lifts his head from his bed at the sound. It’s two and half hours into a party going on downstairs, much longer than either of you expected, and Rafe slipped upstairs for some peace about twenty minutes ago.

“What’re you doing here?” His elbows prop up against the bed as he fixes you with a serious look.

“Looking for the bathroom.” You click the lock on the door to make sure nobody can interrupt you. One too many times of some random almost walking in on you two at party’s has made you a tad paranoid about it.

“Down the hall.” Rafe snaps and drops his head, rolling over in his massive bed. So moody.

“Really? I could’ve sworn it was here last time.” You kick your shoes off and quickly climb into the bed, running a hand over Rafe’s arm lightly, listening to the thrum of music beneath the bedroom get quieter as you tune into Rafe and only Rafe.

“Just stop.” He murmurs but turns onto his back so you’re able to straddle his lap.

“Why? Don’t you like me?” Something along the lines of yearning crosses Rafe’s face- you’re shocked, he never shows this much human affection- but you ignore it in turn of continuing to trace lines over Rafe’s exposed shoulder from the tank top he has on.

“Don’t you remember what happened last time we did this?” Vividly. It ended in an argument so loud Wheezie knocked on the door asking if everything was okay and if she should get Sarah- god, Sarah, you’re best friend, who has no idea you’ve been fucking her brother for months now. But none of that matters right now.

“I’m tipsy and I want you.” As simple as that, you’re not sure anything could change how badly you crave Rafe.

“Sarah’s downstairs.” Rafe’s large hands curl up around your hips that peek out from the short-shorts you have on and crop top you borrowed from Sarah. She’d kill you if she knew you were only thinking about Rafe’s eyes on you when you put it on.

“So is Topper. She’s occupied.” Those two are probably busy fucking in the boathouse or something, they’re always disappearing and leaving you and that pouge girl alone.

“You said you were looking for the bathroom?” The two of you shift so Rafe’s able to press his lips to the corner of your neck and leave behind wet kisses on your sunburnt skin.

“Mm, I need to adjust my bra, it’s bothering me.” Wordlessly, Rafe slides his hands under your shit and undoes the clasps of your bra so he can slip it down your arms through your shirt and discard it to the floor.

“Better?” He asks between kissing lower and lower until you arch into him with a grunt.

“Much.” You push away to finally capture Rafe’s mouth in yours and sink into the familiar feeling of making out with him.

It’s not long before Rafe’s pulling your shorts off and rolling you over to be atop you as he reaches to get rid of his own clothes. It’s all fast moving after that- his fingers in you, your moans coming out unapologetically because you know nobody cares enough to listen, Rafe’s hard length pressing to your thigh, his teeth grazing your throat, a hand in his hair.

“Fuck, baby, so fucking sexy for me.” His voice is broken and breathless as you reach between your legs to finally settle his dick in you. Condom be damned.

“Love it when you call me that.” It tricks your brain into believing your relationship is more serious than it will ever be.

“What sexy? You’re the sexiest fuckin’ girl I’ve ever seen.” He groans into you and thrusts his hips so hard your hands grapple to grab at his shoulders.

“Baby. Love those stupid nicknames.” As much as you wished you didn’t, you really really do, especially when it’s Rafe saying them.

You huff against Rafe’s hand as he pulls you closer to his chest, the hand he has snaked around your waist traveling between your thighs in record time. You lost count on how many times you’ve gotten off but you know it’s at least three, and Rafe doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon.

“Wish I knew you were this easy sooner.” He murmurs in your ear and you nearly collapse if he wasn’t holding you up.

“Gotta be quiet baby, Ward is right outside.” Adrenaline runs through your spine as you nod. You know it’s true, Ward is right outside. You can hear him yelling at some investor over the phone in the driveway while you are Rafe are mere feet away in the at-home gym the Cameron’s have set up in their garage.

“Can you do that?” Rafe asks with a push of his fingers inside your dripping cunt that you’re barely stifle your moan at.

“Such a good girl.” He laughs a little and finally puts his thumb up against your clit with a fast rubbing pace- the final step to make you fall over the edge again. It’s more of a tumble than anything, you lean back against Rafe and shake in place, your thighs clenching over his hand and a sly grin on his face.

“I’ll see you next week for our next gym routine.” That’s all it takes for Rafe to drop you to the bench and wipe his hands against the front of his tank top.

You watch as he leaves and know that he’s right- you will see him again next week.

You got a job for Ward almost a year ago cleaning his pool and not even six months in, Rafe asked if you wanted to work out with him and you naively said yes, thinking the rumors were fake and he was being genuinely nice. An hour in and he had you withering on the ground covered in your own cum and crying because you had never orgasmed that much in your life- it’s been pretty much the same ever since. He never sticks around afterwards and neither do you.