SOMEONE has to save our skins

no. people's openness about what two consenting adults can do in private has no bearing on how likely they are to be child abusers or close ranks about child abusers & thinking there is some correlation is a sign that your stance on sexual abuse is mediated more by disgust reaction and aesthetic associations than by structural analysis. there is a pretty hard and obvious line between not condemming consensual sex acts between adults and being a pedophile and thinking that it's some sort of spectrum or slippery slope there imo speaks poorly to your conceptualization of why SA is a bad thing.

people love to say that X or Y kink Normalizes Abuse, but, like, actually think about communities where sexual abuse is 'normalized' in society. is the problem with the catholic church that it's too pro-kink? is the problem with US professional gymnastics that it's too pro-kink? is the problem with the amish that they're too pro-kink? was the problem with the british entertainment industry in the 1970s that it was too pro-kink? is the problem with the prison system that it's too pro-kink? &c. &c. &c.

As a degrader and a sadist it's so hot that some subs will be as pathetic as you want them to be... so don't fuck around with their emotions outside of that, that sub is already literally playing with and altering their emotions for your benefit and pleasure. You're overstressing the emotion muscle if you do and rest is essential to any healthy exercise.

You're not giving their feelings any time to rest and recover if you cause emotional distress outside of playtime and you're not giving them the safety and security to play with their emotions again. If you consistently play with humiliation, degradation, or other forms of psychological sadism, you need to be aware of this and plan accordingly.

Avoid big talks or heavy topics immediately after, and do things that will lift your partner's mood in the days following an intense scene even if their mood doesn't need a lift. While you can't see it, by doing that, you've essentially put an emotional ice pack on a sore muscle.

It's easy for doms to understand that some subs are turned on by embarrassment, shame, humiliation, degradation, objectification, etc. That is an easier concept to grasp. But I think that's a bit of a simplified way of putting it and a more accurate way to explain what's going on is that some subs experience embarrassment, shame, humiliation, degradation, objectification, etc from their dom and are turned on by it.

I think putting the emphasis back on the painful emotion the submissive is putting themselves through is such an important distinction that needs to be made more often. Sometimes the fact that the sub is still experiencing these very powerful negative emotions during sex or scenes (for your benefit by the way, doms) gets lost in translation when someone says "it makes me horny when you humiliate me."

But they're NOT just horny when you humiliate them, they're still also humiliated. And for those of you saying "well duh, of course" please just trust me when I say, as a dom myself who went through learning this and has helped so many other doms learn this, that most doms are absolutely not making this connection at all and that's why my post above has been reblogged a bunch of times by both doms and subs.

As a dom, what we are incorrectly assuming is that the input is 'humiliation' and the output is 'horny' based on what we see and how our sub reacts when we play like this. We are not registering that they are also still humiliated because in the moment they're acting horny. It's an easy logical error to make due to faulty observations and this mistake isn't just limited to male doms in my experience. A lot of folks from all walks of life don't quite grasp this at first. And once you do grasp this you can give better aftercare.

Day 12 - Share a little bit about any special outfits you may be planning to wear to Charmed!2024.

Well, like (I'm sure) many people this Halloween, I got myself these:

You help them to submit by aligning your interests and building trust, respect, and acceptance.

Buzzfeed just posted an article regarding a certain cult and their abusive hypnosis files.

I know that the annoying anon is still out there circulating sea-lioning asks about this, so I thought it would be a good idea to signal boost for community safety.

"be good for me"

"edge for me"

"drop for me"

"beg for me"

"cum for me"