@rexiebitch - Tumblr Blog

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

and love..........

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nonasuch

hey did I ever post the best business card I’ve ever been given by a customer?

a woman wanted me to let her know if I had a particular item in storage, and she went to get a card out of her purse and went ‘oh no. I’m out of my work cards, I’m so sorry about this’ and handed me this:

apparently her husband made them for her as a joke but then she just had like 300 of them so they’re her backups when she runs out of her real business cards.

retroactivebakeries

THE NINETY-NINE EFFICACIOUS FURSONAS

I have told you of the deadly fursonas which may be cultivated through martial arts and sorcerer’s ways, but among my readers there are gentle souls whose conscience would not allow them to seek fursona through violence. It is to them that I address this depiction of the NINETY-NINE EFFICACIOUS FURSONAS.

While a DEADLY BATTLE FURSONA’s sole aim is violence, each of the NINETY-NINE EFFICACIOUS FURSONAS accomplishes a useful end of its own. Those who undertake self-discipline through employment in bureaucracy may attain the CONSTELLATION-STRIPED OKAPI, an ephemeral manifestation of alien beauty that befuddles its viewers most severely. The DOLEFUL GENTLEMAN BLOBFISH enables survival at any extreme of environment, but can only be mastered through rigorous suffering. Each fursona has its purpose, written in the genderless imperator’s register of the ninety-nine, and each their own unique path of discipline and self-mastery to achieve. Some of their number are useful for everyday tasks, like the mighty deadlift weight of JUGGERNAUT BABOON or SINUOUS RATTLESNAKE COQUETTE’s self-brushing teeth.

Others, numbered among the latter third of the NINETY-NINE EFFICACIOUS FURSONAS, provide incredibly powerful solutions to problems that no one has ever had. CRIMSON CRAWDAD PATERFAMILIAS converts inebriation into music. WICKED MONSTER HORSE bays out monstrous roars at a frequency that could only be heard by black holes or hyper-dogs. PERDURANT OCELOT has always, retroactively, existed. To master such a fursona is a twofold ordeal, demanding not only self-discipline but imagination, finding everyday applications for their esoteric and idiosyncratic miracles.

meanbuddhist

just identified a behavioral pattern within myself

copperbadge

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

vergess

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

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maxxie-or-smth

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

kissestothemoon-blog

reagantheteenagewitch

maybe if we keep speculating about mitch mcconnell more different repub senators will drop dead

mycoins

just realized we're all gonna make it!

mycoins

let's go!

hexjulia

sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

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crowboy-bebop

oh my fucking god

daco-showman

why can rockstar games institutionalise you for life like nikita kruschev for being autistic

ivy-michaels

He didn't steal 10 million dollars. They made that number up as a loss, they never fucking had it. Rockstar has spent more than a billion fucking dollars on GTA VI and will likely make billions more when it gets released.

Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.

Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.

And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?

Capitalism is disgusting.

fuckblast

Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj

ivy-michaels

What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.

aletheyass

tes THDPSSSSPS 💜

apas-95

wgat did u say

methodical-coffee

Remy Charlip & Jerry Joyner.

smute

i think the most upsetting thing about american-flavor puritanism is how fucking patronizing it is. it's 2026 but the whole world still has to deal with a cultural hegemony grown from the gnarled vestiges of victorian-era paternalism. tax-paying adults with passports and the right to vote are treated like wayward children because of the antiquated idea that authorities must protect the weak minds of the unwashed masses from depravity and corruption. the average american can send a fellow citizen to the chair, but they can't piss in a ditch without being declared an outlaw. american entertainment media is saturated with sex, but you can't talk about it online without getting your account suspended. it's such blatant censorship at a universal scale, but because sexual content is framed as inherently dangerous, this restriction on basic adult autonomy, this blanket denial of moral and intellectual adulthood, can be reframed as protection, an expression of care, a moral duty. "won't someone think of the children!" I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN!

smute

thank god that the video game that features slow motion animations of graphic gunshot wounds and is rated 18+ has a profanity filter in single player offline mode. thank you for protecting this 33 year old mind from the corrupting influence that is a horse named apple slut

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

greater-than-the-sword

When you're a kid you just take trees for granted. Then when you get to be an adult you realize that a fully mature tree cannot be created in an amount of time that fits in a convenient landscaping timeframe for love nor money nor all the powers of science. Then you realize that people are very very very cavalier about chopping them down

tragicwaif

We need a big chart where we rank all tumblr users most impactful developmental trauma and illnesses of the mind so we can use it to determine who has senior authority when arguing about anime characters

tragicwaif

You try and tell me off for my attack on titan take and I check the chart and see you’re 3 points less molested than me plus your parents aren’t divorced so I begin to draft a callout posthaste

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