i have a fucking castle

Yeah, sure, I'll reblog that.

I know this is about capitalism but it's also about my knees

imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

You know what, fuck it, I don't *want* some frivolous, artisanal, lighter-than-air computer with no customizability, no upgradeability, no reparability, no ports, and a lifetime of *maybe* 3 years if you're lucky. I want a fucking great BEAST of a computer that's designed to last a minimum of 50 years, with ports up the wazoo and optional drives for every kind of media! I want modular components that you can drop in a bog for a year, dry them off, and have them still work fine! I want them to make a noise like "ker-chunk!" when you slide them into place! I want a switch that you pull to turn it on! And I don't want software that constantly forces you to get a pointless, cosmetic "upgrade" every few months either! I want durability! I want longevity! I want satisfying haptics! I want Silicon Valley to go fuck itself!

God bless punctuation and the English language

take me down to the ##USER_CITY## where the grass is ##COLOUR## and the girls are ##USER_PREFERENCE##

it sucks that masks weren't already common in most of the world bc now ppl associate them so heavily with covid 19 and assume if ur wearing one then you must be super paranoid about that specific disease. like yeah i don't want to catch covid but i don't want most things that float around on public transport. also i like having a warm face. also it makes me look cool. maybe i just want the kakashi appeal. what's so wrong abt that.

my hungry ass could never work at astrophysics

?????????

Matter and antimatter? OUT. Gnocchi and anti-gnocci? IN.

sure your book is a new york times bestseller with a diverse and unique cast of characters, positive reviews from multiple well known authors and agencies, "ideal for fans of [popular published work] and [other popular published work]" and rated 4.99999999/5 stars on goodreads but does it have, like, a plot

i don't need to read your book's entire resume okay i really don't care about any of that i just want you to TELL ME what the STORY is ABOUT

unfortunately dnd podcasts have already peaked, specifically in 2015 when griffin mcelroy named an npc “garfield the deals warlock” but forgot to describe how he looked in the slightest so the entire collective fandom decided it was just straight up garfield the orange cat

OUTTA TOUCH THURSDAY!

The last Out of Touch Thursday of 2021

The last Out of Touch Thursday of 2022!

opening my followers every day and blocking the pornbots like a humble farmer pulling weeds from the vegetable garden. wiping my brow of sweat at my labours in the sweltering sun