°×★The Pink Dazai of Jiraiblr★×° @retrynowforme - Tumblr Blog

~★~★~★~ Previous Retry Now Themepack by: @.pyonakaa~★~★~★~

~★~★~★~Zanka dividers by: @.jirai-haruhiz (they're mine only though so don't go try to steal them, alright?)~★~★~★~

~★~★~★~Current Dazai theme by: me!!! (nf2u)~★~★~★

~♪~★~♪~嘘ついたら針千本誓って~♪~★~♪~

いますぐ輪廻(Retry Now) - NAKISO

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Okay sleep time permanent or not only time will tell

#tw sui implied #cw sui implied

Sometimes I regret the fact I didn't follow through with any of my plans

I didn't because of Chibi and because she actually gave me hope that things can get better but I really can't help but think about what would happen is we aren't friends anymore by then

What then

I wouldn't have anyone irl anymore to keep going for

The only reason I'm still here is for her but if she isn't there what do I do

And what if our plans don't come true and I'm still stuck in this shithole with these fucking bitches that call themselves my family and have the audacity to put up a front of giving a fuck

What would I do then

Why did I have to make it difficult why did I become so codependent why am I like this I preferred when I was determined and isolated then I wouldn't have given a fuck if I just took myself out and did everyone a favour

#tw sui vent #tw sui talk #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied #cw sui thoughts #cw sui ideation #cw sui implied #cw sui mention

Hi nico, would you like you a hug? :<

Yeah I think so

I don't know why this wasn't appearing in my notifications until I checked my settings

Thank you though you're kind

Is it really worth it to continue

What are the real chances that it's going to go the way I want

It's already shitty now why would it get to change in under two years

Why would it change why would I have a chance is it really worth it to wait just to see if it works out when I can just kill myself now and not have to deal with this shit any longer

God even when I'm at my lowest I have the fucking will to tag this shit properly

I just don't want to harm any more people than I already do with my bullshit

#tw sui talk #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied #cw sui thoughts #cw sui ideation #cw sui implied #cw sui mention

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I think I know why I can't hold any type of relationship

I'm so fucking avoidant I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate myself so fucking much

I'm so tired

Youre gonna get spammed okay..? Okay..

Oh okay thank you you're still really nice

I don't think I can do this anymore

K self mandated break time now before I start spiraling for no reason again

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THANK YOU FOR THE SPAM!! Youre so awesome!!

It's no problem you're very nice hehe

I also lowkey love that GIF, Chibi hates it sobs

It's funny

GOOD MORNING NICO!!

I hope youre feeling better today ^-^

Goodmorning

I'm feeling a little better my head doesn't feel like it's splitting open anymore and I can somewhat type properly

Still feel like I'm going through a crisis again though so I don't think I'll be back to my usual until that's over and done with

Sobs

awake of it wasn't obvious yeah

deathbysterling

hey jiraiblr, I was originally deathbymicrophone

if you could reblog this to help me find my mooties and get my followers back thatd be great

#~★~•→i'll do so selfishly every time

Came back to just clarify that I might just

Not be online or reply for a while

I think I'm going through something but it might take a day or longer to get over it or whatever the fuck I just feel like shit

Okay actual sleep time now Infeel like my head is going to split open

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Okaysoeep time I can't do thud

Myheadhytts

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