John Mulaney Out Of Context

Are you alive? You don't have to bring the blog back, I just wanted to know if youre okay.

Well

“Panex! At the Xanex”

I have this feeling that John Mulaney has told a story about being stopped by the police with some friends and the police asked for their names and they were all named John but the police thought they were messing with them. Do you know what this is from or if it's even John Mulaney?

Do you have that one photo of John where he’s saying ‘I lived on alcohol and cigarettes and adderal’?

Do you have "if you even look at the hospital I'll stomp you to death with my hooves?"

Do you have ‘bread is god is bread’

Do you have "I used to smoke CRACK" from Kid Gorgeous??

could i get the "my mommy" one please? love your blog 💕

Please, please tell me you have the “i have hair on my shoulders” & “i dont even have a joke for that” thing i need it

hello i am dating a jewish girl and i need any of john’s quotes related to dating a jew like the “my WIFE IS JEWISH, I KNOW ALL THAT, HOW DO Y O U KNOW ALL THAT” or the new in town bit where he throws in “this is gonna get playfully anti semitic” i’m not picky

Do you happen to have screenshots of John Mulaney saying "My Dad loved us, he just didn't care about our general happiness or self-esteem?"