Butterfly Beings Drink Bass Nectar

I could probably write an endless stream of pages on background and catch up. However, the thought of that bores me to death, while simultaneously terrifying me. While this year has across the board been one of the best years ever, the past few months have been quiet difficult. Emotionally just a crazy derailed roller coaster. 

I can confidently say that I've spent a fair amount of time in awe at how life just seems to play out. I’ve constantly been trying to dissect how its possible to be so completely and overwhelmingly happy while also feeling so empty. Its as if the happiness I genuinely feel merely dances a top this pool of infinite sadness and restlessness. 

Almost as if no matter how much happiness I acquire there will never be enough to over power the shadow of darkness that has become my own. That is my battle, my struggle, my nuclear war. Myself against this looming darkness. 

Most recently my living situation (parent’s basement) and leaving a job that I absolutely adored really had me rocked. Hit me square in the chest. This idea of the independence I believed I possessed was slipping right through my finger tips, like paint on the hands of a finger painting toddler. Unavoidable and messy. 

Determined to finish this year off strong, able to truly say that despite this small hick up, 2016 has been the best year ever. I’m focusing my energy into making its through the next month and a half as positively as possible. I am humbly seeking through prayer for acceptance of what is to come, and strength to get through whatever consequence lie before me. I ask to harvest and show love for myself and my person in times of sorrow if they should come. 

I vow to rebalance the energy of my person. I will regain control of my independence and I will learn the lessons that the universe is setting before me......

                       No filter, just a nicely placed sunbeam and pinecone 

 I’ve tried this several times before. Sat down, determined, my fingers nimble on the keys. I was never fully ready. 

So, I’ve decided to try, one more time. 

To my friends and family when you find this, I ask that you explore the inter-workings of my mind with love. That you gift me understanding and patience. This is me probing the boundaries of a comfort zone I've created on distance and “privacy”. This is what could perhaps be a futile attempt at growth. Spiritual, personal, emotional, professional, financial, you name it, I'm trying to grow it. 

This is a selfie from the morning of my 24th birthday. Since this photograph I’ve found myself immersed in a deep state of self-reflection. Perhaps it was the coming of another birthday or the unexpected butterflies I’ve been living with, but I find myself in such need of connection. 

I feel this gnawing urge to share with those around me. 

Its an un-ignorable pull to connect and conversate with everyone that comes my way. To share every laugh with someone, anyone, just a being. Its the urge to dance all the time, and I mean alllllll the time! 

My feet can't stop moving, my body exclaims without my consent!

Its the need to comfort, to hold someone for a while. To listen! Man, I want to hear all the stories! This is it, this is me. Taking what I hope is the first steps into my next incredible journey. 

My name is Karla and I am 24 years old. I like bright lights and loud noises. I believe in magic and in the power of the universe. I believe in the beauty of every single person and the power of community. I believe in the concept of pure love and compassion. I believe in the glory of the stars.