Except for everything, I'm perfectly fine

the rest of the batkids are absolutely disgusted by this dynamic, by the way. all the adults around them think jason is a fucking angel, and it drives them insane because the second bruce and alfred turn their backs, jason is a complete asshole of a brother. and there’s nothing they can do about it because in everybody elses eyes this man practically shits gold.

*at breakfast*

Jason: oh hey, Alfred, sit down; i’ll do the dishes. you just enjoy the food.

Alfred, smiling: why thank you, Master Jason. i believe i’ll take you up on that, the sunroom is lovely and sunny right now.

Jason: you just relax and enjoy it then :)

Jason, the second Alfred leaves to sit down with his food: *shoves Tim off his stool and steals his food* this is mine now, you go do the dishes.

Tim: ?!?!?!?!

~

*Damian and Jason at the league*

Ra’s, begrudgingly pleased: you have certainly surpassed my expectations, Todd. i have to say, my daughter made a good choice bringing you into our ranks.

Talia: you truly are worthy of being an Al Ghul heir.

Jason: :D

Damian, face flat: you know he didn’t even do the mission you assigned him, right? he hired a mercenary and went to Legoland.

Jason: *kicks him in the shin* HA! as if! man, little kids say the darnedest things… i thought i taught you better than that Damian!

Ra’s: yes… Damian, perhaps we should up your training until you learn not to spread lies in an attempt to tear your brother down. you could learn from him, you know.

Damian, loudly: i am going to kill myself.

~

Jason, walking through the manor: *accidentially knocks over an antique ceramic decoration, smashing it*

Jason:

Jason: *locks eyes with Dick from across the hall*

Dick: don’t-

Jason: BRUCE, DICK BROKE YOUR THING-

Dick: god DAMMIT JASON-

~

Bruce: *giving a mission brief on the batcomputer*

Jason: *shoots Tim with a slingshot*

Tim: *yelps*

Bruce, turning around: what’s happening?

Tim: Jason’s-!

Jason, slingshot hidden behind his back: oh, what? i what, Tim? because it seems like all i can fucking do is disappoint this family nowadays, i don’t even know why i fucking came home when none of you seem to like me being around,

Tim: YOU LITERALLY-

Bruce, snapping: ok that’s enough. Tim, don’t be rude to Jason, he hasn’t done anything wrong. if you can’t get a hold of yourself then you’ll just have to be benched for the night, understood?

Tim: ARE YOU- SERIOUSLY?!?!?

Bruce: yes. not another complaint. *turns back to the batcomputer*

Jason, grinning: *brings out his slingshot*

Tim, dead inside: i miss being an only child.

“—I think!” While participating in an activity that requires infinitely more confidence than “I think” levels is another top tier Dick Grayson-ism.

Dick: That's fine. I'll just explain the plan to my flight recorder, and if I crash and die, you can find the black box in the wreckage and figure out what I said from there 😁.

He was little before, when he used to hang on Clark’s neck.

He’s bigger now.

But not too big. He’ll never be too big.

Sir that's his emotional support orphan, leave him alone.

your parents are not your parents. the idyllic farming community that raised you is not your home. you’re a You-Don’t-Know-What from You-Don’t-Know-Where. all you know for sure is that you’re not human. 

so you can fly. so you can run fast. so you can lift cars. so what? why do you even have this power? what should you even do with it? 

your father said do what’s right, so that’s what you do. 

you stop a robbery. the man’s knife shatters against your skin and you see the same fear in his eyes that you saw in your father’s when you were twelve. you catch a falling child before it can hit the water. his mother looks at you like you’re a god. 

they love you, even though they don’t know you. the most powerful man in the world hates you because they love you. 

you wanted to write when you were younger. you wanted to tell stories that needed to be told. you never wanted to star in them. you never wanted super-geniuses and demi-goddesses looking to you for advice; like you have any idea how to handle threats to reality itself. you’re just a kid from smallville who’s trying to do the best he can with what he’s given. 

you try and get back to the farm as much as you can. it feels normal being back among the open wheat; where everyone smiles because you’re that nice Kent boy. 

when you were younger, you pretended to fly, hands out to your sides and running through the tall grass by the river. it doesn’t look as beautiful from on high; the details get lost and the colors of your hometown blur together from a mile above ground. 

Clark: Oh thank God. This guy gets it.

Bruce *expecting arrogance*: wait what

Clark: yesterday I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment in my underwear trying to get the mail and I forgot I could just break the door open. I stood there for an hour waiting for the locksmith to open before I remembered.

Bruce:….

Clark: I’M AN IDIOT OK, I’m just a guy, I have no idea what I’m doing

Bruce: I hate how endearing this is. Stop making me like you

Clark: if I get my mom to make you lemon squares will you teach me how to pick a lock

1) Gets kidnapped. Looks absolutely furious in his ransom photo, which would be understandable were it not for future context.

2) Becomes Plucky McGee as soon as Bruce shows up. There are guns trained on his goofy ass and he’s flashing the dimples LMAO.

3) The side eye and the “Shall we begin?”. Like, okay bucko.

4) Breaks out. Note that there have been no changes to his status since before Bruce showed up, meaning he had the ability to escape whether or not Bruce came.

Conclusion: Not only was Dick fine, I’m pretty sure this was just an opportunity for Dick to say hi to Bruce and get out of college.

Some more Robins shanangans!

HELLO?