streak

nothing but the blood of veniality seeps through the cracks on beige walls-- white beneath grime is plastered layer after layer until it’s time to change the wallpaper. you like how shades of deep scarlet compliment the gritty texture, but try settling for floral, instead. 

write down on a sticky note, plaster it to your fridge,

kill your darlings sentence starters

He glares an inferno, piercing scorch, fingertips aflame burning ashes by the nails and skin underneath. The truth stands alone in debris and he inhales a lungful of it; chokes, gasps in stifling heat, but lets it settle in him nonetheless. Her self revelation is a lie. Baekhyun neatly tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear before pursing his lips in dissatisfaction.

“How do I know that you’re not lying to me?” He asks hesitantly through gritted teeth. “I don’t even know what to believe anymore.” Baekhyun laughs loudly but it’s much too incredulous for his own taste– tastes like copper on his tongue and fills the back of his throat with sanguine. Swallows it down for the sake of tolerance. He smiles amidst rancor to keep mannerisms shallow because interpretation can recklessly, indeed, be misinterpreted. 

Impatience sears through his wrists as he plays with the collar of his shirt. He steadies his gaze to diminish the temper written on his face, the irritation buried in his eyes, and forces himself to smile even when it is waning.

kill your darlings sentence starter: synobscura

kill your darlings sentence starters

Dahlia seeps through heavy lids. Ink droplets of indigo bleed through pores. The lunacy of vis vitalis streams colored mania in his veins, a carousal insistent alongside reckless abandon, but his head is spinning, spilling, spurring. Words, sputtering. A repertoire of ticks and consistency in mauve proves the midnight black engraved into his skull. Fuchsia blooms from his fingertips to hazy dust before settling into a pile rosy grain, and Baekhyun stares longingly at the verdigris dripping from his palms. 

“Hook me up, man, my body’s crying out for this shit,” Baekhyun muses distractedly in awakening joy. His eyes squint to beady crescents as lips stretch out in an eminent grin. Trademark cheshire. He seethes glorious rumination onto grassy hills expanding for miles behind them while his head cricks playfully to glance at Efrain. 

This is him. This is who his bank account is waiting for. Hit and run in one shot! He’s supposed to, at least. Has the monoxide filling in his back pocket.In his back pocket. You have it in your back pocket.

10-25-14; a coworker’s halloween party.

kill your darlings sentence starters

“Depends.” His brows crinkle like the front of his unkempt shirt before disappearing underneath long, messy bangs. Contemplation shows tongue to cheek in resignation, reveals the intrinsic effect of indecisiveness. “What do I get out of this,” he asks, “how much of the reward do I earn?” Baekhyun treads carefully on-the-fence while hands clasp together beneath his chin– he exhibits interest and curiosity with enthusiasm curling at the corners of his lips.

A greedy bastard he is, eyeing the price of transgression. 

Baekhyun smiles at the very thought of this, feels the aftermath of apprehension, and basks in it like the summer sun. He perishes in the absence of thrill and writhes alive where it is plentiful. Some grow when they learn from their mistakes, others strive to perfect themselves based off of this tangent; Baekhyun grows from neither, but grows nonetheless. Striving to better himself is a mishap when all he knows is sin. 

“We’ll never know unless we try.” 

The corners of his eyes crease when he squints. 

kill your darlings sentence starters

Does it always? Where is the proof in cycle? Baekhyun rubs his chin and offers him a weak smile, knowing that the remnants beneath the surface of his skin are a lackluster thereof. He has seen the climactic rise treading alongside cataclysm, Christianity, but there is no recollection of rebirth upon heaven’s reform. 

“I have died a hundred times. Where is my newfound righteousness?” Baekhyun asks quietly. He thinks that Jongin is being too selfish, too ignorant, too much of everything all at once and quite frankly, it’s giving him a headache– heartache ensues for nostalgic faith that serves to wreck his vice. You can take the sin out of the sinner but at what cost?

“God is cruel.” His words are short and sweet, and the gradual laughter building up inside of him shows no sobriety. Mischief flickers back and forth like broken streetlights, a result of broken faith. Recklessness is a joke like John 3:16. Baekhyun continues to keep his smile in place, but his smile becomes twisted at the corners from hereon. 

kill your darlings sentence starters

There’s betrayal in his eyes and Judas in his veins; victim is the priciest sell, suffers the most and suffers the best. Baekhyun with his tongueful of scorn bites the inside of his cheek as he holds the other’s gaze steadily, unwavering, but the look in his eyes says otherwise. In him lies uncertainty, an apprehensive standstill that leaves any remaining empathy to burn. Lips part assuredly. Press together hesitantly. Purse fearfully. 

“I do,” Baekhyun mutters under his breath like a secret before repeating again, “I do.” He speaks with spitting fury, clenches teeth that seethe anger in between (flossing ‘till he bleeds is a ritual). He brushes long bangs back from his forehead with hands radiating exasperation– in each bend and snap of his wrists lies gnarled hostility. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Venom lies within each syllable. Another sin. You’re ruining my life, I hate you, get out of my sight, all flash in his mind like a warning sign in the midst of heavy construction. Keep left, Baekhyun thinks to himself, drive safely. 

“You’re not as great as you think you are, y’know.”

"Some things, once you've loved them, become yours forever."

"They become part of who you are."

"That was beautiful, kid."

"Be careful, you are not in Wonderland."

"I've heard the strange madness long growing in your soul, in your isolation but you fortunate in your ignorance."

"You who have suffered find where love hides, give, share, lose, lest we die unbloomed."

"You wrote that?"

"You asked me to."

"Another lover hits the universe. The circle is broken."

"But with death comes rebirth."

"And like all lovers and sad people, I am a poet."

"First thought, best thought."

"I was a kid, and you dragged me into your perverted mess."

"How can you say that?"

"You know that's not true."

"I will never give up on us."

"You're pathetic."

"It's brilliant, no?"

"It's missing some periods and commas."

"It's better than anything you've ever written."

"I use periods and commas."

"Fuck you! You're a phony."

"You said I was everything to you. You are everything to me. Everything to me, do you hear me?"

"You got what you wanted."

You were ordinary, just like any other freshman and I made your life extraordinary."

"Go be you, now all by yourself."

"Leave me alone!"

"You don't mean... you don't mean that."

"Or they destroy you."

"You can't show this to anyone."

"You weren’t even there. It’s your truth. It’s fiction."

"Then tell the truth."

"You wanted him gone too. You sent him to me."

"Please. You'll kill me with that."

"You’ve got to get me out of here."

"Don’t ever leave me."

"Were you even going to tell me you applied?!"

"It was a dream anyway."

"Let's hear a bit, shall we?"

"Alert the press!"

"There can be no creation before imitation."

"Finally. An oasis in this wasteland."

"Only the most anti-social have to go to an event actually called one."

"You drink in your room?!"

"I love first times. I want my whole life to be composed of them. Life is only interesting if life is wide."

"To Walt Whitman, you dirty bastard."

"Are you a writer? Because I’ve got a job for a writer."

"You're not anything yet."

"He’s not home. He left."

"You make me too smart, they’re gonna suspect something’s up."

"There's more life in those five pages than in the dozens of bad sonnets we've read in class."

"I was wrong. Maybe you're not up for this after all."

"It's complicated."

"I love complicated."

"He is a goddamn fruit who won't let me go."

"Then let’s get rid of him."

"Right now, I just need you to write us something beautiful."

"The Germans call it the “wonder drug.”"

"You're not allowed to be here."

"That's odd since I'm the only thing keeping him here."

"What are you, moving in?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"If you’re going to stay, don’t hog the blanket."

"The damn cat!"

"Both of you! Quiet!"

"I was aiming for stew."

"What do you want me to do? Eat shoe leather? I'm hungry and what you do in the kitchen is unholy."

"You thought my novel was shit?"

"I’m not even sure why I bothered to come back."

"Fuck you. What does that even mean?!"

"I think I just puked on the inside."

"I'd be lost without you."

"I was going to die there."

"We’re going to say it was an “honor slaying”."

"Please don't leave me here."

"Let’s get out of the city. Anywhere you want. I’ve saved up."

"You needed him as much as he needed you."

"He'll be with you in a minute. Please, have a seat."

"How did you expect us to react to this?"

"It is smutty and absurd."

Fluorescent lights find home behind window panes that are dirtied by children and their pudgy fingerprints. Mothers wait in nightgowns and hair pins, lean against the humdrum of machinery order, wait for its swivel to cease before reloading the dryer. Baskets sag under the weight of cotton, polyester, dirt, lint. Baekhyun enters casually with bloodstains on his dark jeans and whistles a short tune-- pays for a few coins before making his way to a washer near the back wall. 

First he discards his jeans and lets it pool around his ankles. Then he slips out of his coat and bundles it up until he can almost wrap his fingers around the width, tossing it first into the machine before his pants follow suit. Fingers methodically press the buttons on the side until its settings are optimal for his needs: normal load, cold temp., pre-soak, start. The washing machine falters for a moment until it begins to hum and whir identically like the others.

Baekhyun folds his arms over his chest while waiting patiently, lips parting as he yawns and smacks his lips. It’s peaceful here, he thinks to himself, observing the emptiness of ten o’clock function and solemnity that poise a standstill of time. Eyelids grow heavy under the influence of fatigue as his head beings to nod off intermittently. 

2. Eden is a haven spent for heaven sent, a glorious rumination brought to earthly virtue. The trembling cup overflows with an abundance of forgiveness and there’s enough to pass around the table, grace for all and sin for none. 

3. They break loaves of bread and feast on wine.

4. Hymns tell tales of solace and suffering. Baekhyun falls in between.

5. The cigarette ashes that settle like debris pierce the linings of innocence once innocent. Burning black holes prove jurisdiction over the children hiding in the night; when lights flicker alive, they find their place in the shadows.