I'm so Bored

Some art!! The plan, line art and full colour ^-^

So I live in Australia, and if you pay attention to world news you know that recently in New Zealand an Australian person, an extremist, attacked a mosque and killed 50 people leaving many more injured. In response to this an Australian politician blamed immigration, and in response to that a 17 year old boy egged him, which got him punched in the head by the politician.

I'm the type of person who hates conflict, so I don't like to get involved in political matters, I have my opinions, but they are my own so normally I hate to share them, especially because I know that some parts of my family will basically admit that they are on the white supremesis neo nazi side of things, while other parts of my family just want peace between people, which is where my opinions sit.

I hate to make this about myself, I really have no place to, and I feel horrible for doing so, but I need to get things off my chest because I don't want to get in the middle of a fight.

So my girlfriend's mother posts quite a lot on Facebook about her opinions, which generally is annoying to me, but about this I do generally agree, she is on the egg boy's side and I think while stupid to do, the politician deserved it and more. But anyway on one of those posts supporting egg boy my sister commented. She is one who cannot be reasoned with, and will argue to no end, and she is definitely a white supremesist and on the politician's side. Basically even though I don't post anything personally I just hope it doesn't draw a rift between our families, nor between me and my sister.

And that to me is another great tragedy of all this, that not just people, but families and loved ones are being torn apart by political, racist, extremist bullshit and I hate it. I hate that people have been killed and hurt physically, and how much damage it's doing to society as a whole. What it is doing to humanity. I have that humanity can do so much damage to itself. That for as long as humanity has existed it has set itself up to destroy itself. It's ridiculous. And frustrating. And saddening.

Ok so hear me out

I was watching some playthroughs of Deltarune, and I was thinking about who the hell the mayor is

And I believe the mayor is actually Noelle's mum (mom for all you Americans lol)

We know the mayor is female, she is always refered to as such. The mayor doesn't like to be distributed while she is working, or, you can't go in and see her because she is 'busy'. And when talking to Noelle, if you ask about the key to the gate, she says "why don't I ask my mom for the key? (...) She doesn't like it when I bother her when she's working"

At Asgore's place the letters that are telling to make money off his flowers to be able to pay for rent are just signed with a -C, but it's known that Noelle's father and Asgore's are good friends and that the families are friendly toward each other, which I think is probably the only reason the mayor is so lenient with Asgore.

Also that gate is described as "ornate" so I'd assume the entire place is pretty nice which I think indicates some sort of wealth / importance.

Ok so, in Deltarune the shop that sans is outside of is assumed to be a rundown out of business Grillby's right?

And sans had just moved there

So my thought is that in Undertale sans is always in grillby's, joking with the other customers and getting food. He is probably Grillby's best customer, besides potentially not paying for things himself. But what I mean is that his presence brings people in, and lets them have a good time.

So therefore in Deltarune Grillby's got shut down because sans was never there.

That and also, assuming that either the war never happened or perhaps it was the other way around and the monsters won, there wasn't enough sadness and loss of hope to drive the monsters to spend enough time in a bar that it would stay in business.

So I just started working a job at a fast food place. All the training is online and was apparently expected to be done withing the first week or so which I didn't realise. Also did I mention all the actual training is online?

I've had 3 shifts so far. With no real proper training training and it's like I'm just expected to know wtf is up

Also the first 2 shifts I had I was basically following the lead of this other girl who works there. She is super chill and nice, but apparently doesn't fully explain things nor does she actually follow all the dumb rules that I was told today I HAVE to follow.

So I was just doing what I had been actually told to do because I haven't had a chance to go and do all the online stuff.

On my second shift I had to do some drive through stuff

But as said it was pretty chill cos of the person I was working with

I made a few mistakes and whatever but they were kinda just brushed off and people were there to help

But today the manager was up front and was making me be the one - and I mean trying to have me be the only one - taking all the drive through orders. And she did this while trying to tell me not to say this or that and trying to tell me to upsell random shit to people which generally NO ONE instore does like ever

And I get it, I know it's part of the job but fucking

It was lunch rush and super hectic and all I wanted to do in the moment was burst into fucking tears and leave and never go back

And so because I didn't want to actually do that, I couldn't talk for a moment. Because I knew if I said a single word the flood gates would open. But there she is in my face looking at me like "what the hell are you doing??" Smile trying to get me to upsell something I just couldn't speak

So she decided to rip my headset off my head and put it on and do it herself

Meanwhile I'm standing behind her, shocked and trying to breathe so I don't have a panic attack in front of everyone

And then after she basically says "you have to do this. Keep doing this." So I got no chance to catch my breath or go away and collect myself, no I was thrown right back into the deep end.

I was luck that my coworkers (only one the manager had gone back to the back) stepped in to help and we then got a better system going where one would take orders, one would pack orders and I would be at the drive window to do payments and handouts.

Once the lunch rush ended everything was fine again, but I was counting the seconds until my shift was over

I begged whatever entity might have heard me for there to be no more drive through orders, hell for there to be no more costumers so I could just clean stuff and do odd jobs

There were a few more orders, but not so many I got overwhelmed again.

And by the time the day was over the manager explained that she wasn't trying to be mean but it's expected that I know this stuff from the online training. And after I finished I felt OK and decided in the end the day wasn't so horrible that I actually left or something, and I know more of what to do for next time.

But now, everything that went wrong just keeps playing over and over and over. I've been trying to sleep for like 2 hours now and I can't. I keep finding things on my phone to distract me and then when I put it down to try and sleep the images start again and again. Thoughts like "I could just never contact them again and not answer calls and avoid them and never go back" or "I should just quit, I don't ever want to experience that again" and things like that keep playing in my mind and I hate it

I don't want the job, not really. It wasn't so bad but now my feeling towards it is at this level? But I need to do it. I have to keep working there.

I have to believe it will get better.

That I will get better at it.

And so I wrote all this down so I can hopefully get it out of my system.

Kris meanings:

1. English name - Christ

I literally got Tumblr for the purpose of following comics and imagines of Undertale and anime and some other stuff because it's my fuckin life and that doesn't seem to be changing any time soon lmao, and originally this blog had a purpose, one that I never used it for.. I was just going to let it sit here and just not post but I'm thinking I could give it a purpose now. So I've been drawing for like 6 and a half years now and I have an Instagram where I post some of my stuff, but I feel like I have to be sort of... 'clean' on there because people on there know me in person including family members and stuff so I can't post anything that might be considered a little more 18+ (whether it be on the sexual or gore side ) on there because I don't want to be judged by people I know. Plus I started drawing digitally recently, or .. I mean I've been drawing digitally for a while now but I'm trying harder and using a drawing tablet not a Samsung tablet lol so I'd like to post that stuff but idk it takes longer and I'm still learning how to actually do things and idk it feels weird to post that stuff on my insta. In any case what I'm saying is, I'm going to post art on here now, and I'm thinking about doing commissions or something, but I don't think my art is that great so I might do some free ones to test out the process and see if it's something I can actually do.. oh and I never taught myself to draw males soo I plan to teach myself and post my progress.