愛

Not disappointed. Not angry. Not looking at you like you ruined everything.

They just care about you.

They sit with you through the shame, through the panic, through that awful feeling that you failed somehow. They remind you that relapse does not erase the good you did. It does not make you unlovable. It does not make them lose patience with you.

They would never hold it against you. They would never make you feel like a burden for needing help.

f/o who knows you aren’t okay. who noticed that you sleep more, eat less, that your feet drag when you walk.

f/o that lets you break down, even when you’re the happy friend. the emotional support friend. the okay friend.

f/o that comes home to find you in the same spot you were in when they left, and goes into the kitchen. they come back with tea and your favourite treat. they sit you up against them and they feed you. they hold the water to your lips.

f/o that doesn’t give up on you.

f/o that isn’t going to let you go, isn’t going to sit and watch you suffer like this. who holds you when you cry, who sits in all the hurt with you. who hates that you feel this way about yourself, about life.

f/o that believes you deserve a life better than this. and stops at nothing to give it to you.

f/o that knows you can do it, just that you need help. they know you don’t like asking for help, so they do it silently.

f/o that will not let you give up.

because they love you far too much for that.

PS: Everyone is allowed to selfship in whatever way they want!! For selfshippers that feel like many of the posts you see are unrealistic and don’t reflect you and your F/O’s relationship, here are some honest and nuanced messages.

“Your F/O would never get angry with you.” -> When your F/O gets mad, they have a special tone reserved only for you. It holds you gently even when it’s firm, and maintains control without sacrificing honesty. The depth of their affection for you is evident in so many ways, including the way they approach conflict with you. Even when the feelings might be negative, you can always see the love attached to them.

“Your F/O would never think you’re weird.” -> Your F/O LOVES how weird you are!! Your uniqueness is what draws them to you, and sets you apart from the sea of people they could have chosen. Whether or not your quirks get on their nerves sometimes is insignificant; they’re just so happy to have them all memorized.

“Your F/O would never overstep your boundaries!” -> Your F/O watches you and listens to you closely. Even if they’re not perfect, they notice small changes within you and care about you—even if it means adapting to things they’re not used to doing. They intend to keep learning more about you for the rest of their life, and there’s no sign of them ever getting bored. They always repair things with you, and this will never ever change.

“Your F/O would never feel put out by you.” -> You are worth the effort. Every single time. Even when the tasks themselves feel burdensome, you are always worth the effort it takes to help you and take care of you. It is paid back tenfold every time they get to see you joyful and healthy. [Disabled self shippers I am looking at you!]

wanting to take care of a f/o who spent so much time taking care of you. making sure you're pampered in a way that makes you wish you could stay in their arms forever…

but it's their turn, isn't it?

holding their face in your hands to press gentle kisses against their face, from their eyelids, to their nose, to their lips, watching as they melt and let out a weak sigh of content as they trust their entire being in your hands. or running your hands through their hair, letting your nails scrape against their scalp as they nuzzle deeper into warmth as they wrap themselves around your waist.

to see them ready to collapse into your arms when they are tired from all the stress of life. even a hug from you makes them feel like they can forget all their problems. that a nuzzle against your neck to inhale that scent that they've grown attached to can save them from everything. as long as they're with you, they feel safe. secured. pampered. like they're finally home. even when they close the door to your shared home. it's not home unless it's with you.

divider @/angeliicide

imagine flopping down at f/o's feet while they're sitting in a chair doing something and they just idly start petting you .