Reports From the World Order

Others said something about metal detectors and I’m like bro they’ll just walk around the metal detectors lol.

Others are saying “oh we need gun control” like a freak who killed fourteen kids is going to listen to the law surrounding guns lmao.

I’m glad you asked voice in my head! Such variables include:

The mass drugging of literal children

Terminally online lifestyles

Fatherless households

The failed deconstruction of morality

The manufactured popularity of nihilism

Mass sexual liberation

The loss of adventure and the pre-ordaining of one’s life

Diversity at any cost

Focusing on division over unity

every school shooting except for one had either no father in the home or a poor relationship with their father

young males learn positive aggression modeling through healthy relationships with older men. introducing policies that facilitate marriage (lower mortgage rates for married couples, which further decrease with every decade of marriage as just one example) help.

additionally, recruiting men into teaching positions so that children unfortunate enough to not have dads aren't solely surrounded by women for the first 18 years of their life will also help

[News Story] 5:28pm

Jewish Space Laser Corp

Jewish Space Laser merchandise? Oh, those ingenious Jews with their space lasers and Kickstarter campaigns. What will they think of next?

(p.s. The Muqata has no connection to the campaign, for those that wanted to know).

Some enterprising Jews are capitalizing on the now-exposed secret Jewish Space Lasers Corps with a merchandise Kickstarter campaign. This post is not an endorsement, we simply found it amusing.

Yet.

The mohel on call is:

Israeli photographers Moshe Cohen and Gad Shmila won first place in an international bird photography competition. Mazal tov - we are so proud of you!  

Don’t worry. Agent B, pictures above, was long retired after an illustrious career of spying on Hamas and causing bomber making facilities to detonate. He now teaches hatchlings the intricacies of being part of the fight against Hamas.

Haim ben Ari

Someone’s getting circumcised again for this!!!!!

Now We’re Apparently Stealing Iran’s Snow

Last week, Iran’s head of Civil Defence Organisation Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali accused Israel of stealing their clouds.

It turns out he also accused us of a snow job. (hat tip: Arsen)

The threat of climate change and how it might negatively affect skiing is nothing new. But claims countries are stealing each others’ snow, causing slopes to be left bare, is something more out of the ordinary.

Last week Iran’s head of Civil Defence Organisation claimed Israel had been stealing clouds and snow from his country.

The accusations were made at an agricultural conference in the Iranian capital of Tehran by Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali, who said: “Foreign interference is suspected to have played a role in climate change. Joint teams from Israel and one of the neighbouring countries make the clouds entering into Iran barren. Moreover, we are faced with the cases of cloud theft and snow theft.”