fRENzied. PHOTOSTREAM x JOURNAL

Bidding a heartfelt farewell to the ABS-CBN Millennium Tower.

yup, from these past few weeks and months.

Are there certain regrets?

Are there things that I should not have done?

Can I undo certain moments?

But the more I ponder, the more I realize

That those choices I made

Were a resolute stand

Because maybe you can't blame me for feeling

All the things I've felt

And reacting in that way to those words I've heard —

From none other than you.

Believe me when I say it was exceedingly hard for me.

I embarked on a journey to determine if I, myself, am worth saving.

You never reached the part wherein you  

Truly loved me too anyway

We just slowly got to know each other —  

stabbing my chest, burning my dreams

creating nasty nightmares

you bled me out

don’t wanna be closer

steering clear ‘cause —  

As far as I know I already left

Don’t be here at all

Because I will stop looking back now

It became exhausting and

I have wasted my time

But I will always remember —

Everything. Every single detail

Along with the realization,

Someone — who’s not meant for anyone

And was never present No matter how glaring that person’s existence truly is

Deduced to a mere distraction of yours —  is me

Now stop being scared.

[FIL]

I observe your word choice.

I always try to perceive those unsaid things

The nuances, the tone, even the timing

Always trying to interpret elements that you don’t say loudly

How’s your body language

The whys of you; as you become unexpectedly silent and out of reach

Deciphering your recent emotions and mysteries

Weighing out probabilities

The aura of yours that radiates

I’m connecting the dots —

I wasn't actively seeking anything or anyone when we first met. I am not cognizant of how our paths crossed at that place. Frankly, I don’t really have time and I’m way too busy for developing #feelings. I’m not someone who collects and selects or someone who quickly falls for whoever. Whatever. But you crash-landed and seemed as though fate intervened.

But still, I almost did not want to let you in. At all.

Sought for signs — and the next thing I know there’s already an uncomplicated and effortless connection between the two of us.

I want to let you know how your smile endeavored to outshine the bright sunlight itself.