I just want to be happy.

#this isn't even because he's a crocodile man #this is just what applying for jobs is like (via @architeuthisducks-blog​)

This isnt coming out of the closet. This is coughing loudly from within the closet to scare the people outside of it, which is immensely more entertaining.

Yesterday at FYE i bought a plushie and dude didnt give me a bag just the boy and a receipt and i was like "hey bro can you give me a bag i really dont wanna be carrying this around the mall" and he was like "why are you ashamed to carry him"

"WHY are you ashamed of your SON? "

There's a difference between "if you can't afford the vet don't get pets" (which is true unfortunately) and like, someone starting a gofundme/donation post bc their pet has some sort of crazy unforeseen illness that was impossible to predict...dont be mean to ppl ebegging for their pets bc they budgeted $250 for shots and worm medicine and don't have $2,000 laying around for feline MRI scans

People also tend to get nasty with “you should have gotten pet insurance you irresponsible idiot” but pet insurance refuses coverage for all kinds of things that an owner could not reasonably anticipate.

everyone else is like "oh we gotta stay inside the most secure places possible and never leave" and I'll be storming through the wastelands in my bloodstained suit of armor, blasting the Doom (2016) OST and plowing my way through waves of the undead. one of them tries to bite me but his shitty rotting teeth don't even leave a dent in my armor before I turn his head into paste. I'll be unstoppable until I die of dehydration or something like an idiot

This is a writer who knows what they’re talking about.

#i respect one director who fully understood loki and thor

OMFG.

Very curious doggo

Reminder that puffins are extremely social and like to fit in with their friends, so they will adopt mannerisms and interests of the group. So there is a good chance this little guy is trying to be friends with the photographer by showing his interest in the camera.

TIL photographers are a lot like puffins, cuz we also make friends by showing interest in your camera XD

The thing about Those White People Baby Names is the way they so poetically express the tension between individuality and rigid conformity. These parents all want to name their child something unique, because they value the concept of uniqueness, yet simultaneously they abhor it in practice… ergo, 30 different spelling variations on the most normative possible names. This homogeneity-masquerading-as-diversity is inseparable from capitalist consumer culture and in fact is directly analogous to the experience of walking into a grocery store and being asked to “choose” between 50 varieties of toothpaste with the same exact ingredients, 12 brands of laundry detergent, etc.

Somebody’s third eye is WIDE the fuck open??!!!!!!!

#for me film Legolas’ main character trait#is that he’s incapable of reading the room (tags via @overthinkinglotr)

That has to be the most genuine smile in cinema history

thats because the morons line was an ad-lib so the smile really is genuine cause hes cracking 

before I yeet the fuck off this mortal coil is now the only acceptable way to say ‘die’

Student: “I want to die.” School: “Okay, we can’t do that, but we have the next best thing-”

Need me a self-care grave

Sir that is my emotional support grave

This is a McDonald's drive-through, sir