The Useless Lesbian

It’s been a few weeks now since I was fired from the park. I've been trying to collect my thoughts and say something, because we all know I can't keep my mouth shut. So here goes.

For those of you who don't know, I was one of the zookeepers at the park for the last two and a half years. If you know me, you know that working with animals is pretty much a dream job for me. And working with them was great, but the level of care we were able to provide was significantly lacking. The number of times we had a sick or injured animal that needed vet care, only to be told to wait it out or not get it care all together, was absolutely inexcusable. I understand not being able to afford more extensive care for every animal (as we were told countless times) but when an animal is severely injured or dying, the humane thing to do in a case like that is put the animal down if you aren't going to pay for treatment.

One of the hardest ones most recently was a chicken. I know, “just” a chicken. This chicken was weak and paralyzed, skin and bones, but lively otherwise. It couldn't move, couldn't sit up, and we did our best to keep her comfortable and eating for over a MONTH without being allowed to take her to the vet. We just got her some vitamins and electrolytes and had to hope for the best. After over a month, and having to have someone who could more properly care for her take her, she finally died. Whatever she had was likely contagious, as we had a few other chickens with similar symptoms, a few of which also died.

There were days with the new superintendent that we were entirely out of food. Food for the foxes, pellets for the birds, sometimes even produce for the petting zoo (and birds, who got the fresher stuff). If anyone asked about it, we weren't answered. We weren't answered about a lot of things. Communication was practically non-existent.

Something that gnawed at me for another month was our white fox, Bolt. We were given no indication that we were getting him until he was brought to the park. We had nothing prepared for him. We had to keep him in a dog crate in the kitchen, where he spent 18+ hours a day, worked up and pacing. He was stressed out, nearly impossible to handle, and any work that we did manage to do with him was pretty much erased every time we moved him back and forth from the kitchen to an outside enclosure every day. Now he’s finally outside permanently and is thriving.

That took a USDA complaint, though. A few months ago, I contacted the USDA with my concerns about Bolt, and a few other things. When they came for an inspection, I was forced to leave from the walkthrough. I was told by our superintendent that I didn't need to be there (waved off, even, like I was shooed away), even though I have just as much of a reason to be there as anyone else. I took care of the animals too.

I got a write up for contacting them. Apparently, I was supposed to tell someone I was contacting them, so they could tell me not to contact them. I was furious, but it was worth it for the animals sake. Anyone could see how absolutely inhumane the conditions we had to keep the fox in were. This is where things went downhill, I expect.

The Friday before I got fired, I asked for a meeting. I brought up some concerns with a coworker. I mentioned they were affecting me mentally. I asked if there could be some schedule adjustments made to deal with it. I never got much of a straight answer, just the sort of empty words that higher-ups say to make it seem like they care.

I was asked on the following Monday (my day off) to come in for a zoo meeting, which I didn't mind doing because it was the only day that I was the only one of us that was off. I was asked to come in earlier than the meeting to “go over what was said Friday.”

I was fired. I was told I was disrespectful. If being outspoken and advocating for the animals I cared for is disrespectful, then whatever, I guess. Otherwise I don't have any clue at all what I could have done that was worth firing me so suddenly over. My issues raised about the coworker were dismissed; I was told I didn't need to be working there if it affected me so much. I was told that this had been inevitable. They had been planning to fire me already anyway.

I've been depressed and rotting in bed for the last few weeks and looking for similar jobs so I can go back to doing what I love. Hopefully somewhere where I can feel like I'm actually doing good work. Somewhere I can feel valued. Somewhere that doesn't sweep concerns out the door.

I think about every animal we lost from preventable circumstances a lot, and how we could have done better for so many other animals we had.