Mia

me:

the old man wasn’t stealing.

He was using a neighbor’s water, that the neighbor pays for, with the neighbor’s permission. Nothing was stolen. The old man just wasn’t the one paying. If someone comes to my house and I let them charge their phone while they’re there, are they STEALING electricity because I’m the one who pays the electric bill? If I take someone out to dinner, are they STEALING their meal if I pay for both of us? Get fucked.

"don't use the skin word for shapeshifters"

I know that the We---- word is a closed cultural word, and I'm careful to not say it because I don't want to be an asshole

friends. they messaged back a thank you and they changed the word to "cryptid". instant follow.

so shoutout to this dog and their humans.

do not taste plants if you don't know what they are

do not identify a fruit as edible just because it tastes sweet

hope you didn't eat any fucking seeds, bro

I saw the photo in my feed and went ohh, dude, no, we do not handle yellow rocks with our bare hands until we know for sure what they are. And I know that orange...

In comments, they continue:

and that's where I started cussing at the computer monitor. But someone else had got there first:

I think Americans need to see people naked more often. We need more naked art that doesn't cover up the genitals and isn't meant to be sexual. If you watch British or Australian or European stuff, there's a lot of nonsexual nudity. There's even comedic nudity, because of how non-sexual nudity can be there! Jokes can be a lot more earthy than America, which has what I like to call a 13-year-old furtiveness about it.

I've been watching documentaries about nudity in film lately actually, so here's some of the ones I've been watching:

This is slightly left of just nudity, but also helps understand a lot of American weirdness around it:

And then here's one that is about Australian film and really showcases how different the attitudes about nudity are in other countries:

Short story: under 7,500

Novelette: between 7,500 and 17,500

Novella: between 17,500 and 40,000

Novel: over 40,000

“Yeah—” wait, something wasn't right. Clark could feel it in his bones. There was a disturbance in the Force. For a moment his brain went blank, and then the realization hit him like a brick. He should've known. Your mind was brilliant. It was only a matter of time before you figured out his identity. He hadn't prepared for this. What was he supposed to do, act stupid?

“Shit.”

You gasped, eyes widening in surprise at his crude language. It wasn't every day that Clark swore. “When did you figure it out?”

“There's only one person in this world who would unironically say 'good gosh’ after being slammed into a building.”

Oh, yeah. He'd forgotten about that video. He still needed to get Mr. Terrific to erase that from the internet for the sake of his identity, of course.

“You weren't supposed to find out like this.” Clark, no, Superman almost wanted to whine, but he settled for a frustrated groan that left you grinning like an idiot. He was hunched over in the middle of your living room, panicking like a high school boy who’d just been outed by his crush; he was mortified.

“Oh? And how was I supposed to find out?” You raised an eyebrow.

“I don't know! Just anything but this!”

He took a deep breath, balling his hands up and pressing them to his eyes as he tried to make sense of what had happened. It wasn't as if he didn't trust you; it was the opposite. He cared for you in ways so deep that it scared him. The thought of you getting hurt because of him drove him mad during sleepless nights; he couldn't lose you.

He ran his hands down his face, both arms eventually falling back to his sides. He needed to calm down. Everything was fine. You were safe in your apartment with him.

“Clark?” Your voice interrupted his silent panic, effectively snapping him out of his reverie. He blinked. When did you get in front of him?

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

He tried to put on a brave face; he really did. He told himself it was for you, but really it was for him. It backfired immediately, and he was left staring down at you with an expression that could only be a mix of panic and total adoration. You were staring up at him with those eyes, so bright and hopeful he could've sworn there was a whole galaxy hiding behind them.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I’m okay.”

At last, his shoulders finally slumped, and the tension melted away. He offered you a soft smile.

The thing about Wickham is he sprinkles just enough of the truth in the narrative he tells Elizabeth in order to make himself believable. In particular, it's such a genius move in the way he uses Elizabeth's family to make her feel closer to him and help her believe the worst about Darcy:

'My father began life in the profession which your uncle, Mr Phillips, appears to do so much credit to—but he gave up everything to be of use to the late Mr Darcy and devoted all his time to the care of the Pemberley property.'

Not only is it impressive the way his mind works—as he is so new to Meryton and thus would only have recently become acquainted with the Phillipses and their connection with Elizabeth's family, yet he still has the presence of mind enough to remember this fact and bring it up at an opportune moment—but I also find it incredible the way that he positions himself alongside Elizabeth's family, as though they are equal in some way and looked down on/used by people like Darcy. When, in actual fact, the Bennets have far more in common with Mr Darcy who, like Mr Bennet, is a gentleman with an annual income in the thousands, which places them far higher up the social pecking order than an attorney/steward.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah