"Poison" by Alice Cooper but it's Sirius wanting nothing more than kiss, hold and love Remus but being so blinded by the fact he's convinced himself that he's the traitor loving him feels like an evil thing to do.
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Remus- Cigarettes and Weed. He can't go a day without smoking a cig or a week without mj, started at 15 with cigs and started both when he was 17 because of The Prank
Sirius- Alcohol. Youd think cigs, but he only smokes when he has an excuse to share one with Remus. He drinks wayyy too much as a coping mechanism to the point he can't function if he doesn't have alch in his system
James- exercise. Some don't take it seriously, but he had a really bad body image for a while and would work out until the point of passing out because he simply hated how he looked
Peter- weed. It started as just a fun thing, but he got dragged in quick and is high a lot of the time, really messed up his perspective on things for a while
Regulus- sh. After the dark mark he tried to get rid of it or at least cover it with scar tissue but that evolved into him being unable to go 2 days without it, he feels shameful yet relived when he does
Barty- cigs, alcohol and weed. Tried "party drugs" once, didn't like it too much and stopped but mj helps him forget about his home life a bit. Same with alch
Evan- caffeine. They all have slight addictions to caffeine but Evan actually knaws at himself if he can't get a coffee in first thing in the morning. And afternoon. And evening. And before bed. And in the middle of the night.
Any requests lmk but I thought this would be kind relatable for some people :)
Everything about the marauders era is so... glorified academically it's painful.
Sirius has fantastic grades despite running away, losing his brother and keeping up a kale personality for years.
Remus has perfect grades despite being stereotyped and stigmatized and missing days off of school every month because of the full moon.
James has detentions almost daily but keeps up his grades, hes idolized despite being part of a minority and he has the best friend group possible.
Regulus, Barty and Evan also all have perfect grades even though they come from abusive households and were adopted by a fascist regime.
Theyre all incredibly conventionally attractive.
Oh, and they're all neurodivergent.
But they all get near perfect scores on each test.
It's so unrealistic it hurts because that wouldn't be true
When he ran away, Sirius' grades dropped so low he had to retake the year.
Regulus' grades went from fantastic to less than average.
Remus has never gotten more than 65% on a test.
The Slytherin skittles? After Voldemort took them in, they failed everything so suddenly it was obvious something was up
James had all the tutoring possible and still struggled to get good grades.
Because THAT'S what would really happen.
And Peter?
Peter is bang average at everything. Hes always outshined. He has good redeeming qualities but he turned to a side we don't like and so we stigmatize him.
But oh, wait. Thats just who Peter is and how he's always been presented.
We glorify the suffering of all the "good" characters because we want them to have out problems but not be affected the same way we are. And when we're faced with realism we evilize it because we see ourselves in it and we can't cope with that.
Sorry for the long rant, but as a Reg kinnie who is barely getting by academically, it's really horrible to see the only character who reflects that part of my life (Peter) be seen as lazy, boring and "the odd one out"
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Regulus makes suicide jokes... a lot of them. All the time really. Most of the group doesn't mind them, but they've always rubbed Dorcas the wrong way, especially since Regulus's suicide attempt a little over a year ago.
He does try and reel them ināhe can't say the same for Evan or Barty, and when they get going well...so does he. And he can't help the little jabs during exam seasons, after all if he fails he can always kill himself. And so what if he finds that hilarious?
What if Dorcas has enough one day and snaps at him in front of Siriusāthe one person Regulus has sworn would never find out about his attempt?
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I headcanon that when Sirius was in Azkaban, while yes he did always look at the full moon and think about His Moony. He also gazed at the sun as it set on August 23rd. Knowing that somewhere, in a place he wasn't able to go just yet, James and Regulus were together. Just as they should have been in life.
When Sirius is hurting, his main instinct is to not eat (especially when he was still living in Grimmauld Place) because that's how he was punished. He believes that if he has done something wrong, he shouldn't have the basic pleasures of food.
When Regulus is hurting, he isolates himself, because yet again that is how he was punished in Grimmauld Place. Sirius was his main source of comfort and so he was stripped of that when he was "bad" and now he believes that he doesn't deserve the basic pleasure of human connection.
Remus and James slowly weed them out of their bad habits though, Remus shows Sirius that eating is always okay and James shows Regulus that it's okay to want to be loved even when you can't give it back just yet.
The Moon, The Sun and The Stars. Loved unconditionally by one another.
Hot lips pressed fervent kisses to the side of Regulusā neck as he sighed heavily, pressed up against the cold stone of some hidden corner of the platform. It was August 1st, the start of his seventh year, and James was unwilling to let him go. Feebly, Regulus pushed at his chest, trying to create room in between them that neither of them wanted there.Ā
āJames- fuck, James Iām going to miss the train.ā He breathed out heavily, but James didnāt show any sign of relenting; attacking his neck viciously, leaving kisses and bites at the joint between his neck and shoulder that had Regulus squirming against the wall. If Jamesā lips were ill intentioned his hands were down right devilish, slipping down from Regulusā shoulders to cup his ass and pull his hips up against James, rubbing the bulges in their pants together in a way that made both of them shutter.Ā
āFuck,ā James huffed, bringing his lips away from Regulus neck to attach them back to his own. Greedily he licked into Regulusā mouth, cherishing each swipe of his tongue, each suck and nip he found there. Regulus, to his credit, did try to protest, but his words came out more in a moan that were swallowed by James anyway.Ā
It was hard to say how much time passed like that, the two of them so wrapped in each otherās mouths and hands the rest of the world melted away, but they jolted apart at the sound of Sirius shouting.
āMerlin- fuck! Seriously guys? On the platform?ā Regulus groaned, in annoyance this time, and thumped his head back against the wall. James at least had the sense to look embarrassed, but Regulus knew he wasnāt even a little bit sorry. āThe train is leaving in ten, Reg, better pull your tongue out of my best friendās mouth if you want to say goodbye to the rest of us.ā Sirius spat with faux anger, and then he was gone, back towards the train probably, although Regulus couldnāt be bothered to watch him leave.
āHeās right. I need to leave James.ā At that James whined sadly, pulling him closer again by his hips and wrapping his arms around him, leaning his face into his neck in a tight but, thankfully, innocent hug.Ā
āI miss you.ā He said after a moment, and Regulus gave a sad chuckle.
āIām not even gone yet.ā But he knew what James meant. This was going to be a hard year at Hogwarts. Not quite his hardest, he had to admit, but difficult none the less. He had grown accustomed to having James around all the time; at school, and then at his parentsā house during the summer. Now he would be miles away, only owls to connect them, and he wouldnāt see him until Christmas.Ā
āStill,ā James said, leaning back and brushing his lips barely against Regulusā āI do.ā
They took a moment just looking into each otherās eyes before James let Regulus pull him out of the alcove and back towards the rest of the crowd; the rest of his family. There were tight hugs and kind words; Monty instructing him to write home about the muggle studies class he was set to take, and Effie promising to send along some baked goods to make the first week easier.Ā
The last person he hugged before getting on the train was James, who had whispered a tragic, āsee you at Christmas, loveā in his ear, which had nearly made Regulus cry thinking about how far away that was.Ā
Even so, sitting in a compartment finally with Barty, Evan, and Pandora, he felt his heart swell at the love that was still there. He realized suddenly, watching James and Sirius run alongside the train as it departed, growing smaller and smaller until they disappeared, that he had never before loved something enough to make saying goodbye so hard.Ā
Hidden away in an alcove, Regulus sighed as snapped his novel closed.
Regulus loved reading, always had. It was a way to be someone different, live a different life, even if only for a moment. Occasionally though, the moment would shatter and he'd remember what his reality was.
Sometimes it was a particularly brutal line in a book that was too much like his own trauma, other times it was a scene so beautiful and loving that he remembered he'd never experience anything like it. Whatever it was that pulled him out of the story and back into the real world, it always ended in Regulus spiraling into his own mind once again.
He was so lost in his head that he didn't hear the footsteps nearby.
"I didn't know you liked muggle romance novels."
Regulus startled, dropping the book to the floor. He looked up and found one of the few people with enough audacity to annoy Regulus at all times of the day.
"I don't." He shoved the book under his leg, as if that would change the fact that Potter already saw it.
James grinned as Regulus' face flushed in embarrassment. "Nothing to be ashamed of. Moony likes 'em too." He scooted into the small alcove and plopped himself down across from Regulus, both pairs of legs up against each others'. "What do you like about them?"
Face warming at an alarming rate now, Regulus tried to answer with as much composure as he could. "I already said, I don't like them. They're cheesy and horribly written. And they're painfully cliche."
James smirked, knowing Regulus was full of shit. He pulled the book out from Regulus' leg before the younger boy had a chance to snatch it back. "Yeah? That what's this one then?"
Regulus huffed, crossing his arms. "If you must know, that is a much more tragic story. While it has romance as the main subject, there's much more to it. It isn't so simple or bland."
The Gryffindor flipped through a few pages, skimming lines here and there. He frowned as he read more. "You weren't kidding when you said tragic. Yeesh." He looked back up at the Slytherin in front of him. "Why don't you like the cheesy cute stuff?"
"Because it's boring and unrealistic."
James hummed, considering this for a moment before shaking his head. "Doesn't have to be."
Regulus scoffed, turning his head away from the other boy's gaze as he mumbled. "In my experience, it is."
James leaned forward, putting his face back in Regulus' line of sight. "Let me prove it's not." He smiled gently, as if this wasn't an Earth shattering moment for Regulus. "Let me take you to Hogsmeade this weekend. We'll get drinks, go for a walk, talk."
Regulus' breath stuttered, all of his organs apparently failing at the moment.
James seemed to take the silence the wrong way, his eyes dropping to the ground. "I've wanted to ask you out for awhile. Thought maybe you'd- nevermind. It's alri-"
"No!" Regulus blurted out, panicked that he was going to lose this chance.
"No?"
Regulus' face was once again beet red. "I mean, yes. Yes, I'd like to go."
And just like that, James lit right back up. "Meet in the Great Hall for breakfast? We can leave after?"
Regulus nodded, biting back a smile.
James looked absolutely thrilled, pumping a fist into the air as he left the alcove. "He said yes!" He cheered to himself, probably thinking Regulus couldn't hear him.
Regulus shook his head, holding in a laugh. What a dork.
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name dropped - jegulus microfic - happy valentines day!!!
James is confused. Or, concerned might be a better word. James always finds himself extremely in tune with the people he loves. He knows when they need something, when they want something, knows how to read their emotions.
So, he thought that Regulus would be the same. Up until last week he thought that he had been reading Regulus very well so far.
But according to quite literally every important person in Regulus' life, he wasn't. At all.
The first instance was when he called Regulus love in front of Sirius in the common room one night. They were by the fire, Sirius and Remus taking up one armchair, James and Regulus sprawled across another.
Regulus was fighting to stay awake, his head resting on James' shoulder as James played with his hair. He was trying to read but James could feel his head slipping every few seconds, could see his eyes drooping.
"You're falling asleep, Reg, you can finish the chapter tomorrow," he whispered, gently closing the book in Regulus' hand. Regulus groaned in complaint sleepily, struggling to keep his eyes open. "You'll be even more angry if I carry you up to bed in front of all these people, love. Come on."
Sirius let out a choked sound at the pet name, looking disgusted at the word. He looked to Regulus but he didn't acknowledge Sirius' sickened look.
James thought it was just Sirius objecting to his younger brother being in love, weird sibling shit. But then came the second instance of James' utter confusion, with Barty and Evan.
They were all in the slytherin dormitory, Barty and Evan on one bed, Regulus and James on another.
"Oh shit, James I left my book on your bed! Could you get it for me, please?" Regulus asked, looking at James with the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen.
"Yeah of course, darling, blue cover, right?" When James called Regulus darling, Barty went silent for the first time in his life. When Regulus only nodded in reply to James' question, Barty started cackling.
"Are you actually going to let himā"
"Both of you, shut up," Regulus hissed before turning to James. "Go get my book James."
"What are they talkingā"
"James. Book. Go."
Ever since, Barty had started calling James darling. Regulus made sure to object, try to shut him up. But Barty was Barty and Barty liked making fun of James.
It was Dorcas who was finally honest with him.
Slytherin had a quidditch match that morning and the three of them were having breakfast together in the Great Hall. When Regulus got up, he kissed James on the cheek.
"I'm going to go get an hour of practice in before the match, okay?"
"Okay, I'll see you after, baby," James replied. "Good luck!"
Regulus walked away and when James turned back to Dorcas, she was staring at him blankly.
"What?" James asked, exasperated. "What have I done now?"
"You realise Regulus hates pet names?" Dorcas questioned, furrowing her eyebrows. "As in Barty told me when they went out, Barty called him darling once and Regulus hexed him and walked off."
That conversation led to where James is right now, sitting at the top of the astronomy tower with Regulus against his chest.
"Regulus?" James felt regulus stiffen against him. Regulus pulled away from him turning around. Regulus looked worried as he scanned James' features.
"What's wrong, Jamie?" Jamie.
"You never call me Jamie," he smiled.
"And you never call me Regulus."
"Dorcas said you don't like pet names," James mumbled, picking at the skin by his fingernails. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"James, Jamie," Regulus held James' face in his hands. "If you ever made me uncomfortable, I promise, I would tell you. But I love when you call me darling or love or baby or whatever else, because you mean it."
"I love you," James whispered.
"I love you too, but never full name me out of nowhere ever again."
After months and months of begging on Sirius' (and a bit of James') part, Regulus had finally agreed to spend some time at Potter Manor over the summer under the guise of spending time at with the Rosiers. It had only been a day and a half so far, but James and Sirius both agreed the younger boy seemed content here.
But since it had been only a day and a half and Regulus isn't used to it here, it would make sense that the Slytherin would assume the Potters had a pet dog...because James is currently throwing a stick for a large black mutt.
"Erm..." James rubbed the back of his neck as the dog came sprinting back with the stick, breaths coming out in pants and tongue hanging out to the side. "Yeah, he's, uh, a stray. He comes and goes as he pleases."
Regulus hummed and stepped towards the dog, reaching out a gentle hand for the animal to sniff. A small smile bloomed on the younger boy's face when the dog immediately took a liking to him.
James felt his face warm, seeing Regulus be so soft with a dog. "D'you like animals?" He asked.
Regulus nodded as he scratched behind the dog's ears. "Usually more than people."
The Gryffindor boy laughed. "So you're saying sometimes you like me more than animals?"
Regulus' face turned a soft pink at the tease. "I certainly did not say that." Regulus dropped his voice a bit quieter. "Doesn't mean it isn't true though."
The dog's ears perked up and his eyes darted between the two. It seemed even in dog form, he wasn't oblivious to the flirting. The mutt let out a low growl before barking mercilessly at James.
James put his hands up in surrender as the dog came closer. "Hey- hey, Padfoot, come on-"
Padfoot.
Shit.
It seemed Regulus noticed the use of the nickname the moment James did. Both boys locked eyes.
"Potter."
"Yes?" He practically squeaked out, knowing he was about to have both Black brothers on his arse at any minute.
"Do not tell me that mutt I've been petting is my brother."
James grinned, laughing nervously. "I won't tell you that."
Regulus scowled, looking down at the dog. He tilted his head in thought before smirking. "Well, Padfoot. Get him."
James swore he saw Padfoot smirk as well before the dog charged at him.
"Shit."
I would know him in death, at the end of the world @regulus-black1972 - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
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