[Yes, I had to do it. Yes, all the voices are me. Lyrics under the cut.]

Kermit: it’s the muppets show!

Female Chorus:

It’s time to burn the incense,

It’s time to slay the sheep,

It’s time to wake the muppets from a thousand years of sleep!

Male Chorus:

It’s time to raze existence,

It’s time to banish light,

It’s time to call the void in on the muppets show tonight!

Statlor: So tell us, where’s your god now?

Waldorf: I guess you’ll never know

Statlor: your life becomes a torture

Both: when we begin the show!

Chorus: And now let’s get things started!

Audience: Why don’t you get things started?

Kermit: It’s time to get things started,

All:

On the aberrational, no-salvational, incantational, muppetational,

Desert Spiny Lizard (Sceloporus m. magister), male in breeding colors, family Phrynosomatidae, Arizona, USA

Wake up babe, new octopus just dropped

Spoons can be used pretty much anywhere.

Carnival tickets are only good for the carnival, and it’s only in town for a limited amount of time.

*Not limited to mammals