Redhead Fibers

2,000/10=200

i) alexander had one (1) unborn child at the time of his death, because he only, miserably, managed to knock up one of his three (3) wives after his boyfriend died 

–> had alexander produced more than ONE (1) child, the hellenistic age would not have been defined by the fallout caused by his generals warring to decide a successor, ultimately destroying his empire and arguably sending everyone from macedon to modern-day palestine into a cultural dark age 

ii) macedonian kings took multiple wives to secure succession, a political move that alexander resisted despite the urging of both antipater and olympias (i’ll let you google them on your own time) for almost an literal 

decade 

– > there’s an anecdote found in the curtius , your “historical reference” – you can google his dates – about alexander’s parents sending him a hooker because they were afraid he didn’t  … how do i say it nicely? wanna fuck women 

it’s absolutely true that you can’t say alexander was gay; that’s grossly reductive, because sexuality didn’t exist by modern definition in ancient times. more, alexander DID bone a woman, willingly, at one point – a satrap’s (google that) wife, named barsine, with whom he may or may not have produced a bastard child called heracles. getting dicked down doesn’t negate wanting to dick another down, an interesting concept that you would be familiar with if you took a quick jaunt out of that homophobic bubble wrap you’ve duct-taped yourself into. we also can’t FOR SURE 100% conclusively say that alexander and hephaestion boned; but plutarch, curtius, and diodorus are some notable biographers who delve into detail about alexander’s life-long, likely romantic connection to his right hand man, who he mourned so excessively at the time of his death that there was hardly a dime left for alexander’s own funeral. they didn’t make that shit up – you can google what source criticism is, but some of THEIR sources included ptolemy i soter and callisthenes – oof, more people for you to google! modern scholars from reames to borza to müller to green assume that he was getting dicked down for the above reasons, too!

at last, i shall acknowledge that my Humour Post refers to lucian (pro lapsu inter salutandum 8), who has some wink-wink-nudge-nudge content concerning who slept in whose tent when, but who wants to retread old ground? here’s another one of my favorites instead: 

323 was the year of alexander’s death (historical!), but even if lucian made all of this up, as this scholar seems to nudge at, it’s still quite telling that a cultural memory and historical tradition that the romans associated with alexander included his love of massive, throbbing cocks, non? 

So we got creative, and I think she likes the solution

Princess baby got an upgrade!!!

She says thank you for all the love 💕

Got something you need to do at a certain time every day (e.g., take meds)?  Start giving your cat a treat right before you do it.  You may have trouble remembering, but your cat absolutely will not.  

Friend: How’s the writing going? You’ve been at it for hours

Me:

yes

excellont choice

correct

no water in bowl

Also Clueless is an adaptation of Emma by Jane Austen, and in every version Emma (Cher) is totally demisexual. Like even the original.

She isn’t attracted to anyone and actually wants to be an old spinster. She describes being in love as “not in my nature” the few times she experiences attraction it’s with people she’s close with. And when the friendship with one of them ends, the entire attraction part ends pretty much immediately.

She does ends up with someone. It’s someone she’s been close with for most of her life. She is pretty clear that if they weren’t so close emotionally she wouldn’t have ever been interested, or even attracted.