I Vid. I Write. I Fangirl.

Poppy woke up first.

Her eyes blinked open, and she looked around at her surroundings, confused at first about what had happened and where she was.

It all came back with blinding color, however, when she tried to lift her hand to run it over her face and found it pinned down by another hand instead.

She looked over to her side and found Alex snoring peacefully with a gigantic smile on his face.

That’s when she remembered.

Oh, shit.

She’d taken her best friend’s virginity.

Alex’s virginity.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

What had possessed her to do such a thing? To put their friendship on the line the way she had? And worse, why was her body itching to do it again?

She shook her head and pried her hand loose to drag both hands down her face.

“Shiiiiit,” she cursed under her breath.

And she knew – she knew – there had been reasons. Alex had been raw and honest with her about his insecurities. He’d practically begged her to have sex with him. And at the bottom of it was he felt safe with her. Safer than he did with anyone. And that made her heart melt a little, enough for her to agree to the act at the very least.

But what she needed right now was some distance, enough distance to shake off how good it had been with him, even if it had been awkward at the start.

Scooching down the length of the sleeping bag, she grabbed her clothes and dressed as quickly as she could. Then she pulled the zipper slowly, quietly, looking over her shoulder every few seconds to make sure she wasn’t waking up Alex, and at last stepped out of the tent and zipped it closed behind her.

Slipping on the shoes she’d left just outside the tent, she stood up completely, trying not to topple over when she shoved her feet into the shoes and then promptly took three normal-sized steps before collapsing into the camping chair by the long-ago put-out fire pit.

She sighed deeply and thumped her fingers in a staccato motion on the arms of her chair.

What were they going to do now?

…

Alex woke up about an hour later.

It took him a moment of staring up at the ceiling on the tent to remember what had gone down, and why he was sleeping and where he was sleeping.

But then it all came down in a mad rush.

Poppy. Him. Her naked. Him almost naked. Fucking.

Fuck.

They’d fucked.

For real, for real.

He was no longer a virgin.

A sappy smile stretched across his face.

He was no longer a virgin.

Replaying the whole sex thing in his mind, he felt his cock spring to life. He looked down, saw it starting to get hard and pointing up, up, up instead of lying limp.

He reached for it to hopefully calm it down, but all that did was send him into a tailspin of memories.

Poppy wrapping her hand around it. Poppy jerking him off. Poppy sticking it in her wet mouth and bobbing her head up and down, and –

“Fuck!”

This had been a bad idea. Such a bad idea.

In his head, he knew it had been good. It had made sense. He had to do it with somebody, so why not Poppy? She was experienced. She knew what she was doing. Like, really. And he felt safe with her. All bullet points had been checked off with a yes, green flags all around.

There was that thought in the back of their minds, of course, of what if this ruined everything? What if their whole friendship went down the tubes because of a one-time decision that in the end would be beneficial for him and give her bragging rights for life?

But now that it was over, and his body still wanted her body, what would they do? What could they do? Just jerk off to each other until they found someone else to have sex with?

He felt like a horny teenager, which wasn’t far from the truth. He was only twenty. But even when he’d nearly seen Sarah naked a year ago, it hadn’t gotten him this riled up. It had to be because he’d literally done the act and now his body wanted more.

It was just super inconvenient that the only body it wanted was the one he’d just had.

He groaned and closed his eyes, covering his face with his hands.

He had to calm down. He needed to calm down. Before Poppy saw him in this condition. Because she probably – no, definitely – wasn’t having the same problem he was.

Or was she?

No. Don’t get hopeful.

They’d said one time, and that would be it.

It had to be it.

They had to pretend like it hadn’t happened, even if they both knew it had for the sake of their friendship.

He looked down at his cock again, seeing it spring to life even more the more he thought about Poppy, and particularly the way she’d been gripping her breasts and rubbing something deep in her pussy that apparently helped get her to an orgasm.

He wanted to know what that was. Certainly it would be helpful to have that knowledge whenever he had sex with other girls in the future.

Right?

And what about being on top? What if girls expected him to initiate and to be on top in the future so they weren’t doing all the work? Wouldn’t it be beneficial for Poppy to walk him through that?

He didn’t know. Fuck, he didn’t know.

Was he just coming up with excuses so he could have sex with his best friend again?

Or could he actually make an argument for it?

Or maybe he should just jerk himself off now and then the feeling would subside and he could get on with his day.

Yeah.

Maybe that was it.

It had to be it.

He could do that, and be done with it, and not have to worry about ruining his friendship with Poppy by asking if they could have sex a few more times before they left for Ohio in the morning.

Fuck, had he just thought a few? Instead of one?

He was so screwed.

Randy’s Music Store.

A shop just getting by in a small dead-end town.

The music store’s owner was one, Randall Vickers, father to Lysistrata “Lyssie” Vickers and employer to her and her friends, Jessup “Jess” Diggs, Lucy Gray Baird, and Coriolanus “Coryo” Snow.

He was a pleasant man who mainly stuck to the back room of the shop while Coryo was placed at the register for being ‘the prettiest’. Lucy Gray often took the second register when there were enough customers, due to her charm. Jess and Lyssie stocked, or bagged when it got busy, which was a rarity.

All four were in their early-20s and home from college for the summer. They’d been friends since high school when they started working at the music store. And, despite them all being mostly attractive and compatible, no romance had stirred between the four.

Until now.

In truth, Coryo had been pining over Lucy Gray since the moment he met her when he was 18 and she was 16 in the sole high school in town. His best friend, who’d since moved away, Sejanus, had encouraged him heavily to ask her out, but Coryo seemed to always have his tongue caught in his teeth when the opportunities arose. And given she never asked him out, Coryo came to the conclusion that she was equally too scared to or just didn’t feel the same way.

Now, standing behind the register, Coryo began to contemplate his life and the sad shell it had become. There had been so much expected of him, good things, a life of luxury – or so his family had hoped for what with his good grades and scholarship that got him into one of the most prestigious universities in the country.

But coming home to this dead-end town on school breaks after being unable to secure suitable employment or internships elsewhere, he was forced into the same small rut of working at the music store day in and day out and going out with the three others he shared that space with on the weekends and after work, getting drunk or playing pool or dancing, and then back to work the next day.

Sure, it was fun in the moment, but when he got home, he was alone with only the stray cat he’d taken in a month ago to comfort him. And that cat – Whiskers, as he called him – did comfort him.

But he wanted more. He wanted…her.

With not a single customer in the shop, he could look across the room and gaze at Lucy Gray in leisure.

She was stocking CDs and vinyls, a job that came easy to her with her knack for organization and the shorter tables for stacking and inserting items. That helped with her petite size.

A size that was perfect for him where he towered at just over six feet. He could only imagine scooping her up to twirl her around as she laughed and smiled. Or bending down to press his lips to hers as she stepped up on her tippy toes the way she used to do when Mr. Vickers first hired her and asked her to grab a step stool to shelve the higher items.

Of course, Lucy Gray had been stubborn and insisted on not needing one, going up on her toes instead to just barely shelve the items appropriately. After that, their store manager assigned her to other tasks and made her second in command at the register.

Coryo still remembered the first day she sidled up next to him to help him at the register when a line started to develop on an unusually busy Monday night.

When her arm brushed his elbow, he could hardly think straight his heart was thudding so loudly and so quickly in his ears. Sweat began to form on his forehead beneath his blond bangs, and if it hadn’t been for the customer, a middle-aged Karen of sorts, repeating herself loudly in his ears to the point that his normally appealing blue eyes went wide, and his cheeks paled, he would’ve stood there like an idiot the entire evening.

“I can take you over here,” Lucy Gray had said, and the customer moved over with a huff.

Lucy Gray then shot him a concerned look, to which he could only force the tiniest smile in gratitude and take the next customer, a more timid one he could handle now that Lucy Gray was no longer touching him.

As time went on, he got used to her occasional brushes and eventual flirty touches, because, well, she flirted with everyone. She had her own little what she called ‘Covey’ in her neck of the neighborhood, and they were a small folk song band that played in the park on the weekends; which was why she’d been so excited to work in a music store, even if, much to her chagrin, the items for sale were discs and not actual instruments and music books.

Coryo went to her concerts every weekend during the summer, hiding amongst the crowd that usually stirred up, since there wasn’t much to do in their little town. He was mesmerized by her voice and her talent, the way she could get a rise out of her audience and the way her music carried down the streets to even the farthest houses and shops.

She was a vision and completely in her element when she sang, and in fact, she rarely stopped singing, was always humming when stocking in the store. And even when she left to go home there was a musical lilt in her voice with the jingle over the door.

Ah, but it was a pipe dream, Coryo thought.

He’d never land someone as amazing and beautiful and funny and charming as Lucy Gray Baird.

“Alright, everybody, time to go home!” Mr. Vickers with his booming voice said as he came out of the back room.

That got Coryo to straighten up and focus on something other than Lucy Gray, who also turned towards their employer along with the other two.

“Storm’s on its way, and we have no customers. I don’t want any of y’all to get caught up in the flash flooding they say’s gonna hit.”

Whoops and hollers shot up from Lyssie and Jessup, and even Lucy Gray joined in as they all took off their clip name tags and deposited them in the employee lounge before heading out the front door just as the clouds above them started to grow dark.

“Hey, Coryo, why don’t you take Lucy Gray home tonight? She lives by you.”

Oh, yes. That’s right. She did live by him.

Lucy Gray spun around.

“I’m fine walking, really. You don’t have to take me.”

His heart leapt in his throat.

I want to take you, his inner voice screamed.

“I won’t hear another word about it, Lucy Gray Baird!” Jess hollered back. “You will not be getting caught in this storm!”

She was about to protest again when the first drops of rain started to fall.

They looked heaven-sent descending on her brunette curls.

“It’s no trouble,” he heard himself say, much to his surprise. “My car’s right here.”

“Okay,” she bubbled up, and he unlocked the car so she could pop inside the passenger side.

Once inside and down the first street, the rain really started to pour, and Coriolanus slowed down.

“Good thing we don’t live far from the store,” Lucy Gray said aloud, looking out her window.

Coryo gripped the steering wheel tightly, hoping a flash flood wouldn’t appear suddenly before their eyes.

“Yeah,” he said with a gulp, continuing to drive until he reached her driveway and pulled in.

“Sorry I don’t have an umbrella,” he lamented aloud, looking into the backseat of the car as the rain poured around them.

“Oh, you’re sweet, Coryo. Don’t worry about it. A little water never hurt anybody.”

Except for those in flash floods, he thought.

But his whole brain short-circuited, because right then Lucy Gray leaned across the console and pressed a peck of a kiss to his cheek.

He was half-tempted to raise his hand to the spot she’d kissed just to feel if it was real.

“Thanks for the ride, Handsome,” Lucy Gray said, bringing him back to reality as her eyes sparkled and she flitted from the car like some sort of bird, fearless in the pouring rain.

He waited until she got inside, then backed out the driveway and went into his driveway a few houses down.

He was not so keen on walking the short distance to his front door in the pouring rain, but he did it, expecting some pleasant meows to greet him once he got inside.

What he got was silence.

“Whiskers?”

He frowned, walking throughout the house and not finding his cat anywhere. A small knot grew in the center of his chest as he approached the last room.

The bathroom door was ajar, and on the tile floor was Whiskers, not moving, with a half-empty open bottle of pills a short distance away from his still body.

Coryo crouched down and felt the body for any sign of life, any movement whatsoever.

He found none and ran his hand through his blond curls as devastation struck and tears got caught in his throat.

The air conditioning of their hotel swished around them as they entered about an hour or so later, pulling their luggage behind them.

There were a few people ahead of them in line, but as soon as they were next, Alex shot Poppy a smug, charming smile and strolled on ahead of her.

“What?” Poppy had asked, as he charged on, not answering her and instead directing his next words to the middle-aged woman behind the desk.

“Hi, I’m Alex Nilsen. My girlfriend and I are staying here for the next week.”

He grinned unabashedly.

Poppy smirked and joined him at the desk.

“Alex…Nilsen,” the woman skimmed through their records, having no reaction at all to Alex’s cute possessive display. “Sorry, don’t see you. Could it be under another name?”

Alex frowned, but Poppy wasn’t worried.

“It should be under Wright. W-r-i-g-h-t, Poppy Wright.”

“What?” He turned to look at her.

“Ah, yes, here you are. Card you registered under? And ID, please.”

Poppy dug for the items in her cute, little wallet and handed them over.

“I registered us, remember? So I could use my discount?” She lowered her voice. “We’re millennials, blogging and teaching living in New York City somehow? We can use all the discounts we can get.”

“Ahem.” The woman cleared her throat, waiting for Poppy to take back the cards, and in addition the keys to their room, the pool, and the work-out facility.

Poppy smiled pristinely and took them.

“Thank you.”

“Smart girlfriend.” Alex jutted his thumb in Poppy’s direction.

“You’re in Room 208, right across from the pool. Enjoy your stay.”

“Thanks,” Poppy chirped and nudged Alex to walk with her.

“Well, she wasn’t very hospitable,” he muttered.

“Alex,” she scolded, but there was a smile on her face and a giggle in her voice.

“I was hoping for more of a reaction.”

“I know you were, babe, but we can’t have everything from everybody.”

He frowned, his brows furrowed.

“Why not?”

Poppy rolled her eyes and kept her smile, taking the lead once they got down the somewhat narrow hall until they got to their room.

Alex inhaled softly.

“Mmm, chlorine.”

Poppy chuckled.

“Yeah,” she said dreamily. “It’s nice.”

She shot him a look over her shoulder and found him staring at her ass.

“Alex!”

His gaze zipped up to hers.

“What? Can’t a boyfriend look at his girlfriend’s ass once in a while?”

She laughed and opened the door with her keycard.

“You’re impossible,” she said, but she was fiercely blushing and in disbelief that he’d brought that out of her when she was usually the one to make him blush.

Once inside, his sexy chuckles hot on the back of her neck, they pushed their bags against the wall and inspected the room. Rather, Poppy explored the room while Alex watched her, undressing her with his eyes.

“Nice. Huge. Spacious.” She nodded her approval.

“Big bed,” Alex commented innocently.

Poppy didn’t deign to look over her shoulder this time.

“Bet the view is stunning too. I asked for one overlooking the beach.”

She started in the direction of the window, set on reaching for the stick hanging by the side to draw the curtains to each end.

“Later,” Alex said, and this time she did look.

“What? It’s just a view, Alex. Surely, we can-”

But Alex strode to her in two long steps and gathered her in his arms, dismantling her fingers from the end of the twirling stick.

“I said, later,” he whispered into her left ear, then swept tendrils of her hair behind her right ear and whispered there, “I want you now.”

Poppy turned in his arms and threaded her fingers through his hair before loosely draping her arms around his neck.

“You do, huh?” Her voice turned low and gravelly.

He nodded. “Since the plane.” He kissed the inside of one of her arms. “Since we made up.” He kissed the other. “Was half-tempted to join the Mile High club just to have you where I want you.”

Poppy’s jaw dropped.

“Sex on a plane? That’s so unlike you, Professor Nilsen.”

His eyes darkened with lust.

“But it’s very like Vacation Alex, is it not?”

“Perhaps.” She gave him a sly grin.

“And we are on vacation.”

“We are,” she agreed.

“So, kiss me, Poppy Wright, and don’t stop there.”

Her eyes sparkled.

She leaned in for a kiss, only to stop just before their lips brushed, so she could drag her hands over his shoulders and down his chest, lifting his shirt up and over his head and sending it flying to some spot on the floor.

She sighed contently, drumming her fingers over his pecs.

“So, so ripped.”

“Poppy,” he rasped, usually groaning at such a comment, but not now, not when he wanted her so badly.

His hands on her waist, he dug his fingers into the fabric of her shirt, tugging and stretching it with his need to rid her of it.

“Take it off,” she urged him, and that lit a fire in his eyes.

He lifted the white top up and over her head, disposing of it somewhere else on the floor before pulling the scrunchie from her hair and watching her brown hair tumble around her shoulders.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Poppy.”

He pulled her close, hands on her back as he unlatched her bra and sent it tumbling also after she excruciatingly slowly removed the straps down her arms.

Inches from her lips, he kissed the top of each breast instead, then nuzzled the valley between them as his hands shoved her skirt and underwear down her legs, and he lifted her up in the air, her shoes dropping as he did.

Poppy yelped and clung to him, smushing his face between her cleavage.

She felt his tongue there shortly after, and warm, wet – no, hot kisses causing her to shiver deliciously.

“Mmm,” she moaned. “That feels so good, Alex.”

He walked the two steps to the bed and laid her down gently before shoving his own pants and underwear in a pool at his feet. He kicked off his shoes and slid out of his socks before joining her on the bed. Kissing her once at her ankles, knees, and thighs, he continued the ascent with a long lick up her belly and a quick tug of each of her nipples before he was hovering over her, his erection growing more by the second and brushing against her skin.

Then, at last, he was at eye-level with her again. He waited for her consent, that look in her eye, the nod that told him she was ready and wanted him as badly as he wanted her. Her fingers in his hair, messing it thoroughly, and a gentle tug of her nails in his scalp as she lifted her head slightly to meet him halfway.

And there, at last, they claimed each other with a kiss.

An hour passed, and Alex was just about going out of his mind, absolutely itching to get out of his seat and find exactly where Poppy had been relocated to and plead his case again.

There had to be something he could say that would hit home with how sorry he was, and how he would never make the same mistake again. He couldn’t. He loved her. He’d been in love with her for years now, well before they’d gotten together as a couple, and he’d been aching with loneliness thinking she didn’t feel the same way or that they were too different to ever work.

But now that they were on the same page, and they’d figured out a way to make it work, and had been making it work for over a year now, he couldn’t spit out that fact to the one person that had made it clear to him he’d never be fully happy with anyone but Poppy Wright?

He should’ve spit it out immediately, should’ve known that Sarah would be a trigger for Poppy the same way all the guys Poppy had been with were a trigger for him.

So, why couldn’t he say it? Why hadn’t he known? Why did he freeze up so terribly just because it was Sarah?

At David’s wedding, he’d held Poppy’s hand and strutted through the crowds with a big ass smile on his face because he was so proud she was his date, that they were there together, even if he obliviously hadn’t realized they weren’t totally on the same page yet.

That hadn’t made a difference. He’d thought they were, and he’d wanted nothing more than for everyone to know it.

He knew it wasn’t because he still had feelings for Sarah. Their entire engagement he’d been pretending with her because he didn’t think he could have Poppy, so he settled for the familiar routine with his ex.

So, that was out. Though he could see how maybe his fuck-up made Poppy think that wasn’t the case.

He supposed at the end of the day, the reason didn’t really matter. The fact that he did it and couldn’t take it back mattered.

He just wanted Poppy to be okay again, for them to be okay. For them not to be walking on eggshells around each other for their entire miserable vacation. For them to be strangers.

He had to fix this, and fast. Before their plane landed.

They could not stay a week in beautiful Spain with her hurt and mad at him when they’d dreamed of doing countless exciting things in the country together, and happily at that.

So, he dug around in his carry-on until he found what he was looking for.

A notebook and a pen.

Then he wrote a title for his brainstorming list.

Ways to Make Poppy Smile

And he smiled a bit at the title before frowning and shaking his head because Poppy was on the other side of the plain sleeping sadly.

1.Play the Saxophone

Well, he couldn’t do that. There were no saxophones onboard that he was aware of, and he didn’t know how to play one even if someone had one aboard.

He scratched it out.

2. Dance

That had potential. Poppy loved when he danced for her – and with her!

Might be difficult to do on a plane though, especially if she refused to join in. Then he’d look like an idiot and could add embarrassment to the list of things he’d caused his girlfriend to feel in a matter of hours.

No, he had to ease into something first. Something that might take her a few minutes to warm up to, but once he got going would get her smiling and forgiving him instantly – and realizing he was deeply in love with her and proud to be her boyfriend.

3. Sing

He hated singing, much like he hated dancing. But he’d do it for Poppy. In a heartbeat.

But what could he sing?

The old, familiar, saxophone-filled tune filled his mind instantly, and he nearly gasped in anticipation.

Of course.

He’d even changed it to his ringtone for her on his phone!

3. Sing “Forever Your Girl”

But how could he really make it a grand gesture that she wouldn’t soon forget?

“Making a list?”

Alex spun around to see who was talking to him. It was a familiar voice but not Poppy’s, and in the moment, he couldn’t place it.

That should’ve tipped him off right away.

“Sarah,” he said, surprised when her straight, blonde hair and amused eyes came into view.

“Me again,” she said, with a chuckle, then seemed to have noticed he was alone. “Where’s Poppy?” The obvious must’ve occurred to her, so she spoke it before he could. “Bathroom?”

The reality of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks again, and he shook his head.

“She’s sitting somewhere else,” he said glumly. “I…”

“Ah,” she seemed to have remembered their previous conversation. “You fucked up, huh?”

Briefly alarmed, because Sarah hardly ever swore, he met her eyes again, and his wide-eyed gaze fell back to a sad one.

“I did.”

“Hence the list.” She pursed her lips. “I used to see you catching those when you fucked up with me too.”

He winced.

Was that a bad sign? That he was using the same tactic as he used to use in his previous relationship?

Sarah pushed the drink cart ahead a little and sat in the end seat with a seat between her and Alex.

“What have you got so far?”

He sighed and handed the note pad over to her. She skimmed the list quickly before laughing a little.

“Alex, these are all things you hate.”

“Yeah, but they’re things Poppy loves. Things I’ve done for her in the past.”

“You’ve played the saxophone?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Well, except that one. That’s why I crossed it off.”

“And because you don’t have one handy.”

“Right.”

Sarah looked at the list and then back at him.

“You really do love her.”

“I do.”

She smiled faintly.

“I think I always knew.”

“Sarah…”

She brushed it aside and stood up.

“Please, Alex, don’t apologize, or whatever it is you were about to do. We’re leading different lives now, separate lives, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“You wouldn’t?”

She shook her head.

“Not in my wildest dreams. Would you?”

“No,” he blurted, and a smile crept across his face at how easily the answer came out of him. His eyes lit up, and when he met Sarah’s gaze, he found her smiling too.

“Now, is there anything I can do to help you with your list?”

“Well, I was kind of hoping to do this…or at least part of it, over the intercom.”

“Ah.” Her smile widened. “I’ll see what I can do.”

…

Poppy’s eyes fluttered open some time later. Her first instinct was to reach for Alex, and she was surprised to find that not only was he not beside her, but she was in a completely empty row on the other side of the plane.

She rubbed her eyes and slowly the memories started coming back to her.

The tears, the bathroom confrontation…and, yes, Alex being unable to tell Sarah that he was with Poppy now.

A lump formed in her throat as all the repressed feelings from sleep came surging back to the surface.

They weren’t as intense now, which was good, but she still wasn’t sure she was ready to forgive Alex yet, or where they stood. Yet more than anything, she wanted to hold him again.

She just plain missed him, and that was overthrowing nearly everything else she felt in that particular moment.

Maybe it was time she rejoined him at their assigned seating, and they could talk out what had happened more calmly.

She took a deep breath, and was about to do exactly that when a voice came on over the intercom, and she figured she could stay seated until the announcement was over with. After all, if she’d slept really long, they could be landing soon, or they could be heading into turbulent weather.

Oh, Alex.

He’d definitely need her beside him if the latter was the case.

“Hello, this is your captain speaking,” the voice began. “We have a special performance from a young man in the backend of our plane.”

Poppy’s brows furrowed.

Young man? Back end of the plane? Performance?

What in the…?

And then the music started, and her jaw dropped.

“No,” she whispered. “No way.”

She sat up straight in her seat, and her jaw dropped somehow further as a smile curved around the edges when Alex came into view – slid into view more accurately – and started to sing, Paula Abdul’s voice quieter above his own, but the saxophone clear as day in the background.

“Hey Baby,” his voice squeaked into a higher pitch, making Poppy clap her hand over her mouth and giggle. “You got to remember. I’m forever your girl. Baby, forever, and ever and ever…”

“Oh, my god.”

And she watched as he came down the aisle, the headset attached to his head as the saxophone solo blasted loud and clear, and he started to dance, his eyes twinkling as their eyes met.

He mouthed I’m so sorry, and her heart flipped. He mouthed again, please forgive me.

Before she could answer though or even respond other than sinking her head into the headrest of the seat and watching him dreamily, the words continued and she watched as Alex continued to sing in the higher octave he definitely couldn’t have been used to.

“Baby, pick your head up. Come on, look me in the faaace. Cause I can tell that something is bringing you down.” His voice dipped down an octave, and Poppy laughed, her eyes sparkling, ignorant to people starting to turn and stare.

“Is it the rumor that another boy wants to take your place?” He bobbed his head up and down, biting his bottom lip and jutting his hips out, sending Poppy right back to their New Orleans dance.

“I hear you’ve been hearing the stories. They’re going around.”

He extended his hand to hers, and without thinking, she shuffled out of the row and took it. Her heart flipped again, when he kissed her knuckles and held her hand to his heart.

“All of my friends are talking,” Poppy chimed in, leaning in towards his mic.

“Baby, just remember, I gave you my heart,” they sang together. “Ain’t no one going to tear us apart. He could promise the moon and the stars above, even if he promised me the world!” Alex’s voice hit a high note again and proceeded to cut off and then cough.

Poppy leaned in.

“Just remember, I’m forever your girl.”

“Hey, Baby,” he squeaked, and she reached up and tousled his hair, making him grab her other hand and kiss it again.

“He could promise the world,” they sang together again. “You got to remember. I’m forever your girl.”

The saxophone solo burst into the song again, and they danced in the aisle, getting some whoops and hollers from nearby passengers as Alex spun her around.

“Honey, listen to me,” he sang. “Your love is all I need. You should know that I don’t need nothing that money can buy.”

He extended the mic to her, and she sang back.

“So, if a boy were to come along and try to make me leave you,” she bobbed her head.

“Girl, I’d go out of my mind,” he sang with a bit pizzazz, making Poppy giggle.

“There’d be no need to worry, I’m telling you why,” she continued to sing, leaning back to dance a little after and drawing lustful glances from him that she caught when she was upright again.

“I need to hear that you really love me,” he sang his part, then they sang together.

“Baby, don’t you know that I love you, and I’d never put nobody above you. He could promise the moon and the stars abooove, even if he promised me the world! Just remember I’m forever your giiiiirl. He could promise the world. Just remember I’m forever your girl…”

The song carried on, and they sang and danced until the end when Alex took his headset off and gathered her into his arms, clasping her hands against his chest and leaning his forehead against hers.

“Alex, I…”

And the fight came rushing back in little blots of memory. Not enough to ruin the moment, but enough to remember why he was doing it in the first place.

“No, wait, let me talk first.”

“I thought you already did,” she said, referring to the song. “Well done by the way.”

He chuckled a little and nuzzled his face against hers.

“I’m so sorry, Poppy. It’ll never happen again. You’re forever my girl. You’ve been since our first vacation, even if I didn’t realize it then. When we danced in New Orleans, when I promised we’d die alone together…I knew, and I know now, and I swear to god, I won’t ever hesitate to tell anyone who’ll listen when it comes up again.”

“Even Sarah?” she asked weakly.

“Especially Sarah.”

She swallowed.

“Who do you think arranged all of this?” he chuckled.

“It was her idea?” Her jaw dropped, a little unsure how to feel about that.

“No! No, it was definitely my idea. I just…needed a little help making sure I could do it without getting kicked off the plane at 30,000 feet.” He laughed weakly.

“Oh.” And a giggle slipped out of her.

She could see Alex visibly relax and knew she’d forgiven him, that maybe it’d been a genuine mistake from the shock of seeing her and hadn’t meant anything deep or negative towards their relationship.

“What else did Sarah say?” she asked cautiously.

“That she could tell I really love you, and that she always knew.”

Poppy’s eyes widened.

“Really?”

He nodded.

“Uh-huh. Which makes sense.”

“It does?”

“What guy do you know constantly texts his girl best friend at the expense of his girlfriend if there isn’t something more there?”

“None that I know of.” She beamed.

“Poppy, I love you so much. I love that you’re my girlfriend, and that we’re together. You forgive me?”

She sighed contently and nodded.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. On one condition.”

“Name it,” he said, practically breathless.

And she swallowed.

“Kiss me.”

He grinned, not protesting in the slightest.

He dipped her, making her squeal and cling to him.

“Alex! That’s not what I-”

And then he kissed her.

Everybody clapped, even Sarah watching from behind the scenes. Maybe, even, especially her.

When Poppy and Alex were upright again, they kissed once more and Poppy told Alex she loved him too. Then, she took his hand and walked with him back to their original seats where they snuggled up to each other and held hands and never let go the whole rest of the flight.

By the time the plane touched down and they were passing Sarah on the way out, they both smiled and Poppy even thanked her for the whole set-up.

Sarah only smiled.

“Have a good trip, you two.”

And she winked.

Poppy’s hands clenched and unclenched on the sink, her heartbeat thudding loudly in her ears. There was no mistaking whose voice came attached to that knock on the door. Alex’s.

The last thing she wanted to do was start an argument with her boyfriend at 30,000 feet in the air with everyone and their mother in the vicinity listening in, or worse yet, Sarah finding out and thinking just how wrong they were for each other.

She felt that sinking thought loud and heavy in her gut.

Not that she should need Sarah to approve of their relationship, of course, but it still was a heavy feeling to think that someone out there that had meant something to Alex and maybe still did didn’t think they would last.

And maybe still did.

Tears wet her eyelashes as she closed her eyes, and her breathing became shakier.

Another knock.

“Poppy, please,” he begged.

“Go back to your seat, Alex,” she ordered sharply, though her breath did hitch, and she knew that was what ruined her resolve.

“Not till I know you’re alright,” he said softly.

She sniffled and wiped away tears that had started to stream down her face. Maybe he’d leave her alone if he saw the state she was in. That contradicted what he’d just said, but right now she needed space. Not for him to give a quick apology and hope that was enough.

She opened the door, and saw his adam’s apple bob and his face morph into sad, puppy dog face.

“Poppy.”

His voice sounded strangled, and she could see how her distraught appearance immediately affected him.

He reached for her at once, but she backed away, not wanting him to touch her. His arm fell to his side in defeat.

“Poppy, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I haven’t seen Sarah since we broke up. I didn’t even know she was a flight attendant! I…”

“You couldn’t say it,” Poppy said, then looked down at the floor, needing to look anywhere but his pathetic face. “You couldn’t tell your ex that we’re together.”

He pinched his nose and braced his hand on the doorframe.

“I should’ve. I know that. I just…was so in shock. It had nothing to do with hiding our relationship, I swear.”

“You didn’t want to hurt her feelings,” Poppy concluded, not really registering what he was saying, her own thoughts humming deep inside her. “But you had no problem hurting mine.”

“Poppy, no. That’s not it.”

“Then what is it?” she snapped, lifting her head to look at him and drawing a few stares from surrounding passengers.

Alex waited a beat before responding and lowering his voice.

“I…don’t know.”

“You don’t know because that’s it. I hit the nail right on the head. You just don’t want to admit it.”

“Poppy.” He swallowed hard.

“It’s okay, Alex. I get it. Despite everything that happened, despite you leaving her because you had feelings for me, you still care what she thinks. You’ve known her longer, she was your first love, and she will always, always come first when you have to choose.”

“Poppy, stop. You know that’s not true.”

More tears slipped down her cheeks, and Poppy had to look away.

“I think I’m going to sit someplace else. Just until I can get these damn tears under control and handle sitting next to you again.”

“We have five hours left on this flight.”

“Then I’ll take a nap. That should get me at least an hour or two. Maybe I’ll feel a little better by then.”

“Poppy…I love you.”

She didn’t respond to that. She couldn’t. Because it didn’t feel like he loved her. It didn’t feel like it at all. It felt like a bare-faced lie to get her to forgive him and forget the whole thing ever happened.

“Please go sit down, Alex. I’ll find you when I’m ready.”

His shoulders slumped, but he nodded at last and took a step back.

“Okay, Poppy. If that’s what you want.”

She nodded once without looking at him, and he turned and walked out of sight.

Something about him being gone immediately relieved her, but not more than a heartbeat later she felt the urge to scream. It made no sense. She’d wanted him to leave, wanted to give herself space to maybe stop overreacting if that’s what she was doing. But could he have done more in this moment to fight for her?

Try to hold her hand, hug her, kiss her? Or would she have just shoved him away?

Was it absolutely insane that she wanted both? To be reassured but given space or for him to blindly keep pushing until she was in his arms believing the words he said?

She stepped further back into the bathroom, then closed the door and locked it again, sat down on the closed toilet, lifted her shirt up to her mouth and did her best to quietly scream into it.

It helped release some tension, and she hoped it was somewhat muffled by the sound of the humming plane particularly noticeable inside the bathroom, but part of her couldn’t worry that she’d been heard, even with that barrier.

Seconds passed, and she continued to cry. She wasn’t full-on sobbing, which was good. It meant she could leave sooner rather than later and not be totally out of control when she did.

Then, to her horror, there was another knock at the door.

Oh, no. Not Alex. Not in this state. In this state she really would let him hold her. In fact, she craved it now. Even if he’d been the one to make her so miserable. He also made her feel safe and protected and like everything would be alright. And she needed that right now desperately.

She just didn’t know how to ask for it without getting him off the hook. And she wanted him to feel guilty just a little bit longer, because she felt like she was getting her heart ripped right out of her chest.

Another knock.

“Miss?”

Not Alex.

She could handle a flight attendant, or hell, even a curious, concerned passenger. The voice was female, but it wasn’t Sarah’s – thank God – so maybe, she could talk to someone at the very least about sitting somewhere else.

She stood up, wiped away her tears, but it didn’t do much for the redness in her eyes or the way her cheeks looked all pink and clammy.

She took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Oh, Miss. Are you alright? Can I help you with anything?”

A different flight attendant.

“You heard me, huh?” Poppy asked, her eyes downcast.

“It was faint, but I did, yes.”

“Did…everybody?”

She shook her head.

“No, Miss. But, uh, the young man who left here a little while ago asked me to check on you.”

Alex.

He’d known she probably didn’t want him coming back for round two, but that she needed someone. Even if it was a stranger.

“I need to sit someplace else.”

The flight attendant’s eyes widened, concerned.

“Did something…happen?” she asked carefully.

Did Alex hurt her.

Yes, but not in the way she thought.

“We had a fight,” Poppy said quietly. “I just can’t sit by him right now.”

Understanding immediately, the flight attendant gestured for her to come out of the bathroom.

“Come with me. There’s a row almost in first class with no passengers in it, even a seat by the window if that’s what you’d like.”

Poppy attempted a tremulous smile and finally emerged.

She followed the flight attendant to the referred to empty seats and made herself comfortable in the one by the window.

“Can I get you anything?” she asked, once Poppy was settled.

“A water maybe? And a pillow?”

“Of course. I’ll be right back.”

She smiled warmly, and true to her word, was back in less than five minutes.

Poppy leaned forward towards the bathroom mirror as she hooked her gold, hoop earrings into her ears.

She smiled faintly and smoothed out her white top and calf-length floral skirt. She adjusted her necklace and bracelet and then swept up half her hair into a colorful scrunchie, sifting her fingers through her hair until she was satisfied with that look too.

She didn’t look sexy, but she looked cute. Ready for travel, and comfortable enough for a long flight on a plane with Alex to their first vacation as a couple. Sandy beaches, touristy shopping, love-making in air conditioning…she couldn’t wait to get started.

The past year had been incredible, living with Alex in New York, seeing him getting settled in teaching at his dream school as she continued with her blogging, only this time setting her locations in the city she lived in and loved. It was a total success.

And she couldn’t be more in love if she tried.

It would be new territory, going on vacation with Alex as a couple, but she had no doubt that they’d have the time of their lives.

With that thought in mind, she finally exited the bathroom after applying minimal make-up and started the short trek into the living room area where Alex waited for her.

As soon as she arrived, she could feel his eyes on her, checking her out.

No matter what she wore, Alex had a way of making her feel like the sexiest woman alive. No one else had made her feel like that. Ever.

“You ready?” she asked, interrupting his eyes ravaging her fairly covered body to direct them back to her innocent gaze.

“Yeah. Just…one thing.”

He rolled his suitcase and her duffle over to where she stood, waiting for him, and promptly dropped them when he reached her.

Poppy looked up at him, amused, but couldn’t help but smile when his hands settled on her waist and he tugged her flush up against him before his lips collided with her own.

Her first thought was to only allow for one or two quick pecks before pushing him away – not that they were running late, but Alex had taught her it was good to be early to these things.

However, his hands found the hem of her shirt and snuck under to the warm skin of her back, and his groan as he inched further and further up made her melt into him and wrap her arms around his neck, tangling her fingers in his hair as she deepened the kiss, her tongue slipping into his mouth and making them both shudder and moan.

It wasn’t until she felt his nimble fingers on the clasp of her bra that she knew she had to put a stop to this or they really would be late, or at the very least certainly not early.

“Mmph! Alex, Alex.”

She wriggled out of his grasp when his fingers didn’t stop trying to unhook her bra at the very first protest.

He sighed and pouted when she looked at him again. She had to laugh.

“Aww, c’mon, Poppy. You look sexy as hell. What was I supposed to do?”

And she just shook her head, smiling. Because, yeah, a compliment like that certainly went to her head, but also his sad, puppy dog face was her undoing.

She leaned forward for one quick kiss, then grabbed her bag before he could get handsy again.

“I love you,” she said, turning towards the door.

She felt Alex’s gaze on her backside and smiled to herself as she turned the doorknob and pulled the door open.

“Love you too,” he grumbled, and followed her through the doorway.

The drive to the airport and walk to their gate went as normally as it could. By the time they were seated on the plane and in the air, looking out the window, Alex’s suggestive glances were almost under control.

In fact, his eyes were so soft when he looked at her now that she could feel her love for him welling up inside her and wanting to burst. When he moved his hand from his lap to intertwine his fingers with her own, she couldn’t help but feel so special, so loved. To be loved by Alex Nilsen was a rare and wonderful thing, and she couldn’t have been happier.

Her head fell onto his shoulder, and she nuzzled her face against his shirt, thinking how wonderful her life was and how nothing could possibly make this better.

It turned out, however, that some things could make it worse.

“Oh, shit.”

Poppy blinked her eyes open a few times as Alex quickly untangled his hand from hers and spread his fingers across his knees, determined to keep them there it seemed.

“Poppy. Poppy.”

She lifted her head and frowned, the absence of his touch bothering her already, though she was curious as to what could possibly be so wrong that he no longer wanted her head on his shoulder or their hands intertwined.

She turned to look down the aisle and saw indeed that someone was approaching. A flight attendant with a cart full of drinks.

Not just any flight attendant though.

Sarah Torval.

Alex’s ex.

And here they were. Here he was. With the woman he’d left her for. On the same flight as her.

Alex shifted, so that their shoulders weren’t even touching, which Poppy thought was a touch extreme. She tried to catch his gaze, search his eyes to see why he was so panicked about Sarah knowing they were together when she must’ve assumed it would be inevitable.

But Alex could only stare at Sarah, his hands clenching and unclenching on his knees, as if he was afraid of flying all over again when Poppy’s presence alone had made him forget all about his past fears only moments earlier.

Poppy felt a stirring in her gut that she didn’t want to name, but before she could try to get his attention with words, the familiar face was upon them, almost stumbling over her own words when she saw the two of them together.

“Alex.” She sounded stunned. “I didn’t know you were on this flight.” She shifted her gaze to the woman beside him. “Hello, Poppy.”

Poppy lifted her head and forced a smile.

“Hi.” She gave a half-hearted wave, then felt bad about it and dropped her hand that Alex was no longer holding into her own lap.

“Are you two…together then?”

And Poppy waited. Waited for Alex to say they were a couple now – to the woman he hadn’t been able to marry because he’d been too hung up on his best friend of 10 years he currently wasn’t speaking with, the woman he’d been avoiding like the plague because she’d said he was her best friend and nothing more. The woman he was now sitting with, and who quite possibly Sarah might’ve even seen him holding hands with before he made every move possible to separate from her.

Finally –

“I…uh,” he cleared his throat. “Um…I…Poppy?” He looked to her for help, and Poppy was so hurt she almost didn’t want to admit the truth in front of her cowardly boyfriend.

Sarah seemed to clue in to what was happening and push for smoothing things over.

“It’s alright. I’m happy for you two. Really.”

Alex looked down, ashamed, and finally Poppy turned away.

“Would you like any drinks?” Sarah started digging through her cart. “Water, juice, soda…?”

“I’ll take a sprite,” Poppy said reluctantly. She could use a little fizz in her system for when she gave Alex the silent treatment the rest of their very long flight.

“Sprite it is.”

She dug around until the sprite produced itself, and it was handed over.

“Alex?”

He still looked at a loss for words.

“I’ll come back later. Enjoy your flight.”

Sarah’s smile was pristine and perfect, as usual. But it was fleeting as well and disappeared for a much faker one once she reached the next set of passengers a few rows behind them.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief.

He reached for Poppy’s hand again slowly, but she pulled it out of reach.

“What the hell was that?”

He froze, seeming to understand he’d fucked up, but not how badly.

Poppy shoved the sprite into his gut until he held it, unbuckled her seatbelt and made a beeline for the restroom.

“Wait, Poppy. Poppy!”

But she didn’t listen, didn’t even turn around to see if he was coming after her.

Seconds later, when she was safely inside and gripping the sink counter, no knock on the door, no one trying to open said door, she knew he wasn’t coming.

She ground her teeth, then started to count slowly, willing herself to come down from the hurt pulsing through her with each second that passed.

Then, unexpectedly, a knock did come.