sex pollen is an integral part of the fanfiction ecosystem but i just don't think poison ivy would make anything that encourages procreation of even more humans. unless she figures out how to make the sex pollen same-sex specific or fertility-negating she's not making it at all. #philosophical
batman: throw your homosexual phytoaphrodisiac pollen wherever you like, pamela. it won't get past my rebreather. i've made sure of it. i learned my lesson the last time.
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Rogue themed BDSM club!? I was thinking of something else but that’s also good! I guess I know what I’m going to be doing later tonight….📝📝📝
That was just the first thing that came to my mind, I'm sure whatever you had is great too! And by God if you're writing this concept send me the story link...
I was about to write: “When you’re stuck at Arkham and it’s between celibacy and some second-rate Batman and you choose the worse option”, but then I thought it might be more interesting if Joker got mad at Batman for something and fucked Hugo to spite him.
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Spicy headcannon: this one feels obvious but Crane wants to be dragged by the noose.
Ooooh this is a fave of mine for sure:
Narrowly dodging the caped crusader was hardly a success when the kevlar covered fist snatched the tail end of his rope.
With a single hard yank, Jonathan was on his knees before the beast with his chin tilted up by the tightened noose.
The respirator on his mask sputtered before falling silent as all words were choked out of his throat and he was forced to listen to yet another lecture in fear.
Yet not a single word made it past the pleasant buzz in his ears or the cotton stuffed in his burlap sacked head.
All Crane could do was appreciate the sight of his master in the arts stand above him, before sweet unconsciousness stopped him short of revealing where the blood in his head had disappeared to.
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Bruce leaned back his head against the back of his chair. A situation in Gotham? It must be a day that ended in 'Y'. "I'm here. Go ahead, Oracle."
"Someone snuck a camera into Pandora's Box and took pictures. They're all over the net now."
Bruce shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "How many City Councilmen are in those pictures?"
"A lot, but that's not what's making the news right now. A certain someone we know is the star of a lot of the pictures. And some of them are doozies. Is Damian with you?"
"No, he's off on patrol with Cassandra. Go ahead and send them to me." He had a sinking feeling about just who Barbara was talking about. This suspicion was confirmed when he received the grainy images, blown up extra large on the Batcomputer's screen. He considered himself a man of the world, but even he had to raise his eyebrows at what he was seeing. He sighed and shook his head. "God Almighty, Edward."
He heard the sound of a food tray dropping to the ground and turned around in time to see Alfred walking briskly back towards the stairs. "I'm sorry Sir, but there is no amount of money in the world that could compensate me enough for seeing that." Well, Bruce couldn't blame the old butler for that.
"You still there Bruce?"
"I'm still here, Oracle."
"Good. Steph, Tim, and Jason have seen the pics. Steph wants compensation for emotional damages, Tim's gone radio silent, and Jason asked if someone could kill him again."
"Denied, I'll call Tim later, and double denied. Try to scrub the net as much as you can. I'll talk to your father about containing the political fallout." Bruce hung up the phone and took one last look at the images before closing them. He'd had an idea about Edward's...tastes, but he hadn't known the man was quite so...limber.
As he prepared the Batmobile, he paused when he pondered Edward's reaction to these pictures being released. There may be more than one kind of fallout he needed to contain.
Meanwhile, at the Iceberg Lounge, a crowd of familiar scoundrels had gathered around a large table, spreading the pictures around.
"Jesus Christ," Harvey rasped as he glared at an offending picture. "Does the man have no shame?"
"Hey, don't be mean!" Harley scolded, swatting him on the shoulder. "What Eddie does in his spare time is his own business!"
"Says the woman looking at the pictures," Ivy drawled.
Harley shrugged. "Eh, what can I say? I'm a dirty little birdie!"
Ivy gave her an indulgent smile, then looked at the pictures. "I didn't realize how flexible he was. Or how...accommodating."
Crane had a dour expression on his face, but whether that was because of the pictures or just his natural expression was anyone's guess. "What does this say about his psyche, I wonder," he mused. "Masochism? Does he actually enjoy being degraded like this? Is this another manifestation of his attention-seeking behavior?"
"Maybe he just likes to have fun," Harley defended. "Everybody's got their kinks, Professah."
"Enjoying yourselves, children?"
All heads at the table looked to see Edward approaching them. Some among them may have expected him to be mortified. Far from it. He merely appeared to be bored. "Edward," Oswald said awkwardly. "We weren't expecting to see you out in the public."
Edward rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. Unlike some of us present, I have absolutely no shame about my sex life." He laughed. "And besides, that's positively mild compared to some of the things I've gotten up to."
Harvey, Jonathan, Jervis, and Oswald paled, while Harley's eyes gleamed. "Ooh, do tell!"
"Maybe later." Edward took a seat next to her and looked over the pictures. He clucked his tongue. "You can barely see me in some of these shots! I'm going to have to have a long talk with Lonnie about this. If I'm going to have my business posted on the internet, I could at least be the star attraction!"
"Degenerate," Jonathan hissed.
"Virgin," Edward shot back, laughing at the flush that appeared on Crane's face. "Oh God, that's not true, is it?"
"Now, Edward," Jervis scolded. "Just because you're comfortable with this sort of...thing, that doesn't mean we are!"
Edward rolled his eyes again. "At least all my partners are adults." Jervis sputtered in outrage then got up from the table in a huff.
Harvey shook his head again. "You really have no shame, do you Nigma?"
"My henchwomen used to work at Pandora's, what do you think?"
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Batman - All Media Types
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Edward Nygma/Bruce Wayne
Characters: Edward Nygma, Bruce Wayne
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Dark Bruce Wayne, Trauma, nothing explicit but bad things implied, Hurt/Comfort, Other Pairings Implied - Freeform, Jealousy, Mild Mindbreak, Captivity
Summary:
Looking back, he wonders why he held out even that long. Why wouldn’t he want to be with Bruce? Bruce is all he needs. The problem is, he isn’t all Bruce needs.
