words are knives and I love wordplay

yes but do your principled materialist views acknowledge the existence of magic

This isn’t fucking funny. My father was torn to pieces in the noob wars by a silver rank landmine

how does your dad being reduced to freelo protect our guild

MY FATHER BLED FOR THIS GUILD WHILE YOU WERE STILL IN THE TUTORIAL. YOU SMURF ON HIS VERY BONES.

any sufficiently advanced map is indistinguishable from the territory.

real map has never been tried

theres a whole album of song titles you can make just from the words of this tweet

this makes smoking weed sound so much cooler than it is

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed

This is legit and people don’t realize it.

“hey what are you doing?” “nothing”  “oh great! so you are avaliab-” “no you don’t understand. I’m doing nothing.” 

I’m doing nothing. Actively. It’s important.

This is essential nothing I’m doing.

people dont realize how grim the actual statistics are, by the time they're calling "GUARDS", 94% of princesses wind up in some kind of panel 2 scenario

mommy's lap perfec t place for put daughter in to s\it! thighs very Soft and Comfort daughter sleep soundly put daughter on Mommy Lap. Put Daughter On Mommy Lap. no problems ever in mommmy's lap because good Shape and Support for daughter back weak of big daughter body. Amommy Lap yes a place for a daughter put daughter on mommy lap can trust mommy for giveing good love to daughter. friend mommy

Sam Handwich.

let us review the basics of dialectal materialism by examining a chair. we see that it exists, therefore it must have always existed. if there are empty places where a chair could have been, there are always chairs. these are the chair facts. cases can be made for other truths but they are more complicated and i have not the time presently to explain them. *my little pony theme plays*

moment of silence for my girl sheoldred wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy

taylor swift is a tyrant for real like value neutral judgement but you can tell in her music the specific point that caligula started visiting her in dreams

she has this 3d-printed mini desk recreation of the bust of caligula with whom she communicates daily and in order to evade football’s suspicions she told him it was jesus and he was like Niiice jesus is actually awesomesauce ❤️ Like jesus helps you with touchdowns🏈🔥 and she was like yess exactly and then asked caligula in perfect latin if he could connect her with the ghost of genghis khan so they can talk strategy

its loveslop. you only like me because youve formed an emotional bond over time.