I fell in love with this guy, a broken soul. We've been together for almost a year, I put my everything into this relationship, shared so much love and care into his existence. There were things in our relationship he cheated he lied, somehow I always forgave him and moved on. But for the past months I've been crying so much, not sleeping, having panic attacks. I feel not enough, like my love isn't enough anymore. Even though I felt so enough before this relationship. I have no idea what to do
Do not enter a relationship with an intention to change that person.
The idea that your love can heal another person’s trauma is a fantasy. Instead of them healing, more often than not you wind up internalizing their trauma and becoming a victim of their wounds.
Relationships are not a replacement for therapy and self-work.
In my experience, everyone has wounds. I have not been in a relationship with a woman who hasn’t in some way been hurt, confused, and traumatized. Everyone has baggage.
The two important things, however, are whether 1) They are aware they have baggage and 2) They are doing something to heal from it.
Just as you can bring a horse to water but can’t force it to drink, you cannot force someone to heal. Give them all the love you want, if they have not taken responsibility for their wounds then they will not heal.
This individual is not in the right place to be in a relationship. And as you are now, you are in no place to help them. If you were a close friend of mine, I would advise you to end this abusive relationship and come back to yourself.
Whatever you choose to do, I hope you both find peace and clarity.
Namaste my friend.
