Who Am I?

I’m not sure why but I’m currently feeling overwhelmed by everything and barely holding everything together.

I hate that I’m not sure if my fear of abandonment is playing up or if what my head is telling me is real. I honestly thought my partner/owner/fp would’ve messaged me before the weekend getaway tonight but they haven’t. If they’re being distant then I’ll be sleeping alone while my other friends who are in couples will be sleeping together. Either it’ll be a good weekend or I’ll just get more depressed

Torturing myself by not talking to my fp because I feel unwanted by everyone in my life. Does it make sense? No. Will I keep doing it? Yes.

I did some weird emo shit and wrote the word unimportant on my leg in eyeliner then put hairspray over it in an impulsive moment. Guess I have a temporary tattoo now to remind myself of how I feel.

I’m worried I’ve gained weight but I’m too scared to find out. I also don’t have a way to check my weight right now. I can’t talk to anyone about this because they’ll just tell me I look fine the way I am. That’s why I’m shouting into the void here on tumblr where I can vent and no one gives a damn. Thank you tumblr.

I think I’ve gained weight (but have no proof because I’ve been sick) and it’s kind of distressing me.