Hermin can´t draw

He hadn’t even seen you, you were sure. But you’d been in a crowd of other sailors. Vergo had volunteered you to give assistance in some basic haki training happening this morning.

And said class was thankfully being held inside the gym, in comparison to the poor luck of the muddy recruits now running past you all in the yard. You could hear Akainu’s whistle and yell towards them even now over the distant thunder.

“Too slow! Double time it you slugs!” He was screaming.

Oh, you did not miss that part of the rookie days.

The haki class itself had been pretty uneventful at first too. Not very many students, just those who had shown any aptitude at all and had been recommended to keep training by their commanding officers.

Of course Vice Admiral Vergo was well known for his advanced level of armament, so he’d been a guest teacher for today while still in Marineford. And for the entire morning you were only moving through the group as his assistant, giving pointers here or there where you could to the other marines to help improve their form.

If you hadn’t felt like such utter shit, you would have gladly asked Vergo to spar with you by the time lunch break came too. You knew he was above your level, but that was the only real way to learn and push past your own limits sometimes. You’d hoped you’d get another chance before he left to head back to G-5 base at least.

But you’d been sitting on the gym floor with your legs criss crossed, headache still going strong despite your best efforts to rehydrate as you ate the meager rations they’d brought in from the mess hall for lunch. It was too inefficient for the class to cross campus all the way there and come back. So the kitchen workers had just brought you all some sandwiches to get by on before training would start again.

And you were eating your sandwich and thinking about nothing at all. A rare privilege really, when suddenly you felt like you were being completely stared through.

Someone else’s haki had focused on you? You were still pretty bad at being able to know the difference. But your muscles did tense a little as you glanced up slightly.

And as your head turned, you realized Vergo had walked to the edge of the room and was now on the phone with someone. Holding a small receiver in his hand, so the voice on the other end could not be heard.

Vergo’s sunglasses always hid his eyes, much like someone else you knew. But you took another bite of your sandwich as you pretended to brush crumbs off your shirt instead of looking at him directly.

It was so stupid, but you were trying to seem completely unbothered as you could barely hear the Vice Admiral’s voice over the other chatting sailors. But this classroom was not that big. Just open floor with exercise mats and mirrors, nothing to really absorb sound well. And why did you even care?

“No. She’s been here with us all morning.” He said.

Okay, that was a bit more interesting as you tried to remember how many females there were in the room then. Maybe only another two or three? Yes, it was actually only two others. You saw them now, off in another corner together. Not at all where he was looking.

He was absolutely looking at you. 

And you were watching a seam on the side of your boot by then, wondering why your heart rate kept increasing. You really strained your ears to listen further.

——————————

Doflamingo’s grip on the other end of that phone was incredibly tight. Enough to push some of the blood from his knuckles. But he did not break the snail’s receiver the way he’d done to the pen earlier. His voice was still low through his gritted teeth as he continued, “That piece of shit had the gall to come after me in my own house, Vergo.”

It was inexcusable of course. And even now the mansion staff were still trying to shovel the chunks of ice away floors below him. Doflamingo had shredded that frozen wall in a hateful fit not long after Aokiji’s departure of course.

The warlord had then immediately stormed upstairs as well. His mind forgot nothing, and he’d still recalled your number perfectly from before as he’d dialed it again then.

And he’d been pacing in his office, one fist clenching and unclenching, blood vessels pulsing on his forehead as the snail had only rang and rang.

He didn’t know what you had done to rile the admiral so thoroughly. But he was certain that you’d had some culpability in it all. Because you were just that infuriating.

It was fine if you had shown Aokiji what couldn’t be had. Doflamingo had even encouraged this, just as he’d given you permission to go out with the other man at all last night.

It would have been no different than when he’d paraded your body in front of Disco at the auction house. Because the obvious focus still should have been on the “could not have” aspect of it. 

But the admiral that he’d nearly just traded what surely would have been debilitating blows with, had not arrived here on just the thought of you alone.

No, that was the resolve of a man fighting for you. You had done something to make Aokiji feel as if you were still truly his to be defended. Doflamingo could see this no other way.

And even as he’d finally hung up that unanswered call to you, to ring Vergo instead, the memories from yesterday had still been so vivid as well.

Because you’d told him that you wanted him then. You’d told him that it was him alone that you thought of when you opened your legs at night. And he had believed you.

All this frustration for one goddamned bitch.

But Vergo was loyal at least, fully dependable in contrast to you as the vice admiral had answered right away. Vergo’s own snail was encrypted of course, fully safe while Doflamingo still paced and vented freely as soon as the other man was there to listen. 

Yet Vergo assured him that you’d been in sight all morning. That you were there right now in fact at some asinine marine class. If you’d put Aokiji up to this today, that conversation had to have taken place elsewhere.

But still Doflamingo wanted more. His current feelings couldn’t be sated with words alone. He needed to know that some sort of punishment would be carried out. Retribution for this pain in his chest that he couldn’t expel.

He hated you for it. The same way that he’d hated you as his finger tips had smeared through your tears in Disco’s office. Your wounded silence taking away all his pleasure as you’d broken too easily before him then.

“So what did you say, haki class was it?” Doflamingo grumbled in renewed question, trying to shake that mental image of you and your tears again. His hand was now running back through his hair. 

Fuck you and this feeling. No one could be allowed to humiliate him this way. So you needed to feel it in exchange, but even harder of course.

“Yes, training in armament.” The vice admiral replied.

“Then put on a lesson for me, Vergo. A decisive one.” But even through his cruel sneer, the warlord still found himself placing extra rules that he normally wouldn’t have. It was maddening.

“But not too far…I just want her to feel this. Go for the sternum, the ribs maybe. At least once hard enough to bring her down to her knees. The rest you can leave to me for later. I’m not done with her yet.” 

“I understand.” Vergo simply agreed in his usual flat tone, no judgment at all towards those heightened emotions still radiating from his master. “I’m sorry you had to experience this. I’ll take care of it.” He did add dutifully as well.

“Thank you, Vergo.” Doflamingo answered with another exhale. Finally sitting back down then at his desk, though still feeling no better for it. 

Yes, he also knew that in a way, this was exactly what he’d asked for. He had wanted to know the extent to which Aokiji may be a future problem. But in his mind, it’d been more him trying to gauge your lingering feelings for the admiral. Not the other way around.

He had truly underestimated your own hold on that man. Doflamingo had underestimated you.

A mistake he would not make twice.

——————————— 

“She what?” The incredulous, yet fully serious voice came as the large transponder snail on Fleet Admiral Sengoku’s desk now glowered into the room.

“I told you to tell her at the end of the meeting, not the beginning, if you were going to tell her at all.” Vice Admiral Garp chuckled at the predictable response, his big fist full of another round of potato chips before he shoved them into his mouth from the bag.

Sengoku scowled at the loud crunching sounds that followed. Garp sitting across from him in the office and generating a mess of crumbs. It was only the two of them here, plus the now angry female on the phone as Tsuru continued over the snail’s speaker.

“And you were just going to let me find all this out myself weren’t you?”

“The reception in Lyra is terrible, Tsuru-chan.” Sengoku tried. She was still stationed abroad. And even the high powered snails here at HQ had trouble reaching those distant mountainous islands like the one she was now on. “There was no point in-“

“Who brought her to the infirmary?” She cut him off again.

“Kizaru.” Garp answered, just speaking as he still loudly chewed. “Just an excuse to get back out of the damned rain I’m sure. The man bitches about it every time.”

“He’s also a terrible gossip. So this will be everywhere already then.” Tsuru sighed, the irritation from her still palpable.

“I mean, it is pretty goddamned funny, Tsuru-chan.” Garp responded, knowing when he was likely pushing her too far. But he didn’t exactly care either. He feared no one. “Akainu about blew a gasket. If he didn’t want to be puked on, probably should have moved a little faster!”

“It was just his boots.” Sengoku clarified before Tsuru could react further. The fleet admiral was regretting letting Garp in here at all by this point.

This had been a previously scheduled meeting for an update on the rebellion in Lyra that Tsuru was currently addressing. But with everything that had recently happened with her own subordinate, Sengoku knew that Tsuru would want to know.

Firstly, the whole mess in Sabaody yesterday that you had been involved in. Tsuru hadn’t liked that at all of course considering which warlord was present for it. And now, just today some training incident that had gone off the rails. It was still confusing as to why it had escalated that quickly. But Sengoku was leaving this solely to Tsuru if she felt there needed to be any followup on it.

All Sengoku knew at this point was that Vice Admiral Vergo, visiting from base G-5, had moved his haki class outside to the yard to have more room for sparring exercises.

But somehow you and Vergo had taken things above and beyond everyone else. Blame, fairly or not, was also being put more heavily on you for choosing not to tap out when faced with a higher level opponent.

And at some point you’d been hit hard enough to land where two of the admirals were still supervising rookie drills. And you’d thrown up on Akainu’s boots, forcing Kizaru to talk the literal hothead back down while whisking you off to the infirmary.

The only thing Sengoku had heard since then was that you likely had some cracked ribs and a possible concussion. Luckily only that, but the fact that for two days in a row now you’d become the center of some utter fiasco was still worrying.

At least worrying to himself and Tsuru anyway. Garp seemed to find it entirely entertaining.

“She’s just a kid, Tsuru.” The Vice Admiral replied. “You know we did the same shit back in our day.”

“Speak for yourself.” Tsuru grumbled, her impatience with him evident as usual. But she had grown up through the ranks with these two men, and she could also speak freely with them as she worried aloud.

“It’s not either incident alone which is the worst of course.” Her tone was changing the more she thought too. She sounded more troubled now. “The day I left her in Mariejois, I had concerns. And after that day I could tell that something was wrong. I thought it was that stupid boy Smoker. If it was, then you’d be right for once, Garp. Just children figuring things out.”

She sighed again. “But then you tell me he is involved with the auction house now. And that the day after dealing with him alone there, she’s now acting out enough to pick fights with Vice Admirals?” 

“You think it’s related?” Sengoku asked her.

“If Doflamingo upset or humiliated her, then yes. Her risk management falters quickly in those circumstances. She’d fight to her last breath to regain some sense of control or power in times like that. It’s a stress response for her.”

“But by the reports we have, there was no physical altercation between Doflamingo and your captain in Sabaody.” Sengoku offered.

Tsuru made a doubtful sound on the other end of the line.

“I don’t know why you still let that pink shitbird get under your skin so much, Tsuru-chan.” Garp grunted at that.

“He’s not a rookie pirate anymore. And his influence is only growing now that he’s a warlord too. I’ve learned the hard way never to discount him.” Was Tsuru’s rather cold response. “I’ll deal with it though. But please keep an eye on her for me in the meantime. It may be time to ship her back my way. I didn’t expect to be away from HQ this long. Base life doesn’t suit her very well regardless. She needs to get back out in the field.”

“Setting sail and bashing some pirates’ heads together is always the best medicine for all ailments.” Garp could at least agree somewhat to that.

“We’ll look at who has ships heading towards you next and let you know.” Sengoku replied, though fully realizing this would likely not be the last time he’d be hearing your name in relation to all this now.

They were getting too old for these new generation dramas.

—————————— 

You were essentially trapped now. The nurse on duty had threatened you with strong sedatives if you refused to stay in this bed at least another hour.

Their excuse was the need to continue monitoring you for signs of head injury. But if it was a concussion, you’d had stronger ones. Vergo’s fist had left you briefly seeing stars for sure, yet you hadn’t fully blacked out.

It was only that strike just below your chest that had done you in. Partially off center, and into ribs that Doflamingo had already weakened with his tantrum of yesterday. 

Even with your own armament up at the time, it was like Vergo had pushed energy straight through that barrier. Stronger than a bullet as he’d knocked you from the sparring area to win with an immediate out of bounds call.

Anyone else in your shoes would have tapped out long before then of course. But you just couldn’t. The more he’d hit you, the stronger you’d hit back. The more pissed off you’d been.

But it was still too much. And certainly too much for today as you’d been on your knees in the mud before you’d really known what had happened. Finally losing your lunch right onto those boots then in front of you as Akainu didn’t back away quickly enough.

Of course it was not in that admiral’s nature to move for anyone though. So why would he have? But he didn’t expect that resulting vomit as you’d coughed and struggled to breathe after Vergo’s last incredible strike.

Akainu had never liked you at all either. And for a moment you had felt the mud heating up dangerously below you as his temper had flared. 

Kizaru had grabbed you by the back of your shirt to get you out of the way then. Like picking up a stunned kitten really. An embarrassment in its own way as he’d also then volunteered to drag you to the infirmary against your will. 

And now you both remained here. You laying in one of the infirmary beds, watching the timer the nurse had set, and Kizaru sitting languidly in the chair next to said bed. One of his long legs crossed over the other as he seemed he truly had nowhere better to be.

“You don’t have to stay.” You said for probably the third time now. 

Kizaru’s arms were crossed over his chest, just perfectly unbothered in that almost annoying way of his. “It’s still raining. I’m fine here.”

Why they only ever called Aokiji the lazy one, you weren’t fully sure.

Maybe if he’d stayed quiet it wouldn’t have been so bad. But Kizaru couldn’t do that either.

“So…” His voice started up yet again. “This is what, three for three now of Captain (Y/N) related incidents? And the last two nearly within twenty four hours. You’re starting to outdo yourself.”

You really couldn’t tell if he was making fun of you or just noting this as interesting enough to comment on. But either way you didn’t like it.

“Well, are you going to write me up for something?” You asked flatly, not knowing what he expected you to do about any of this now. You were well aware that people were still talking about your dust up with Smoker in Mariejois. And of course the auction house yesterday, and now it would be about you, Vergo, and Akainu’s vomit boots today.

Troublemaker was another moniker of yours you often heard in not so quiet whispers. 

But Kizaru’s demeanor never really changed at your attitude. He just answered you with a question of his own. “If Aokiji never reprimands you, then what right do I have to discipline you either?”

Your eyebrows raised a little as Kizaru turned his head to make eye contact with you through those transparent sunglasses before he kept on.

“I don’t know what Aokiji’s dragging his feet for though. You always get him flustered. It’d just be the sensible thing for him to go ahead and admit it right?”

How your body could still have had the energy for that flush of heat to go immediately to your face when you’d just been pounded into the mud not long ago was a feat in its own right. But you didn’t hesitate much.

“Aokiji and I are just friends.” You said with the plainness of someone repeating a legal statement.

“Uh huh,” Kizaru answered, tilting his head a little as if working out a stiffness in his neck brought on by the cheap infirmary chair. “And water isn’t wet.”

———————————

Hours later you’d finally been alone in your room again. The sun had long since set and you were hurting all over as the remnants of mud darkened your shower drain. 

When that was done, you refused to even look in the mirror as you dried off. Your body was a battlefield by this point. Even you weren’t sure which bruise was from who anymore. Unless they truly looked like Doflamingo’s bites or sucks, it was anyone’s guess.

Karma wasn’t something you really believed in. Because you’d seen too many good people suffer and too many bad people win. But if you had done something to truly merit this, you could still only wonder what that would have been. 

Especially when an abrupt knock came at your door.

What in the fuck now? Was your first tired thought as you dropped your towel to grab a robe instead. You did tighten it well and pull the collar high before you went to the door.

There were no peep holes in these doors. Something that wouldn’t normally matter as you cracked the door just slightly, expecting one of your female neighbors at most.

But your breath caught in your chest as you saw that familiar admiral coat at your eye level instead.

And Kuzan said nothing, just looking down at you as you opened the door wider in surprise.

Yet you could smell alcohol again as you heard girls laughing in the distance. They were just entering the barracks from the outside. They’d be coming around the corner into your corridor shortly. They’d see him at your door, and you only in your bathrobe.

So you grabbed that stupid man by his marine tie, jerking him towards you as he did not resist. The door slammed shut as he disappeared into your room. Those girls not even noticing the sound over their own voices before they entered the hallway.

“What the hell are you doing!?” You fussed up at him. You’d already had to argue with Kizaru of all people earlier, likely the biggest gossip on base about these very kinds of things.

And Kuzan was just going to show up unannounced to make this all even harder? 

But he was just staring at you for that moment. He actually looked sad, sincerely so. In a way that had your anger melting away as his dark eyes stayed focused on you.

“Kuzan?” You asked him, more concerned then.

“I’m sorry.” His words finally came. He looked distracted, bothered. It was different things all at once. 

He moved away from you too, going to sit on the edge of your bed as the closest thing to take his weight off of his feet.

“You’ve been drinking.” You stated the obvious. It was much worse than he’d been last night. But you’d seen this before. You knew what it meant.

“What happened?” You asked him carefully, fearing the worst.

He was still watching you. That heavy look, his legs were spread. “I just…I just want you.” But he was almost fighting himself. Changing the meaning with just a few additional words. “I…want you to be okay.”

“You’re drunk.” You tried again, still not understanding at all where this could be coming from. “You can sleep it off here if you need to.” You would still protect him of course.

It wasn’t just about you. You did care about Kuzan’s reputation as well. He’d had his struggles with alcohol as most knew, but normally only when really triggered. He’d be sober by morning and no one would be the wiser. You could sneak him back out of here. It would be fine.

“(Y/N).” He just sounded more insistent.

You watched him carefully. That chilled vapor was coming from his mouth then. He needed to control himself. Your anxiety did increase as the room’s temperature continued to drop.

“Kuzan, you need to rest. Lay down.” You tried to sound more forceful as the chill bumps started across your skin.

“I can’t…because I can’t help you if you keep lying to me.” His eyes were so sharp, even if his voice was not.

And at this you did feel that first real tinge of fear. 

He stood again not long after. And when he did, you saw those ice crystals sparkling across your bedsheets from where his hands had been.

But you stood your ground as his long legs crossed the distance between you so easily. 

This man would never hurt you. Not on purpose. You knew this even as your own breath started to turn to vapor as he came to stand in front of you once more.

And his arm moved around your waist then. The other onto your shoulder. He was steadying himself. But it was so cold. It was as if that touch went straight through the thin robe direct to your skin as he said these new words.

“Doflamingo…what is he to you?”

The world stopped.

Maybe your heartbeat with it. Your legs felt numb. His grip was on you harder. He was the one holding you up now instead.

But you couldn’t make a sound. There was ice on your lips. Even before his own soft mouth had covered your own.

You didn’t even know if you were letting him, or if you really couldn’t move any longer. The taste was so familiar, but masked with the alcohol. That intense cold like drinking him into yourself as you felt the pain beginning in your lungs.

Ice crystals were forming inside your airway as you finally raised your hand enough to grip the side of his face. You dug your fingernails in.

It wouldn’t hurt him, his cheek was more ice than skin now. But he did feel it. 

As soon as his lips parted from yours just that slightest bit, you forced that frigid air back out enough to speak.

“Let me breathe.” But even as you said so, you hadn’t moved away from him at all.

And he understood. Not apologizing yet, but you could feel the ice beginning to withdraw. He was reigning himself back in just enough even as his face remained pressed against yours.

He did let you breathe as requested then. Your body heat reclaiming your lungs bit by bit as you felt his hand wandering up from your waist. He rubbed your back to assist in the gentle thaw as his power continued to recede.

But you still had to answer him. Even as numb and fearful as you still were. Did Kuzan think you were a traitor? Would he hate you? You had no idea how he knew about Doflamingo yet, and maybe even more importantly what he knew.

“We’ve had interactions.” You tried to start. The cold still stung your throat. “But it’s all new...”

Kuzan made a sound. He had lifted his head enough to look down into your eyes again. “So it’s true?”

His voice was different then. And you didn’t like that harshness. You wanted the softer man back from out of all this ice. “My loyalty is to my friends, to my crew, Kuzan. That won’t change.” You promised, but it sounded more like begging. “I’m a marine.” You said, as much trying to comfort yourself as him in this moment. 

“He’s a devil…he really is, (Y/N). Why…why would you let him…did you let him?” And it was clear that Kuzan was still so unsure of which answer would be worse.

To live with the knowledge that Doflamingo had taken you against your will, or the equal torture in the realization that you may have actually wanted the madman to do it.

Was this the debate that had plagued Kuzan today as he’d poisoned himself with drink until he could stagger to your door? But still, why? How did he find out?

“It’s a bit of both.” You finally answered, unable to lie any further when faced with this weakened king right before you. Because he was a king to you. Kuzan commanded more respect with his selflessness than the Heavenly Demon ever could through cruelty.

But that logic didn’t make you immune to Doflamingo’s flames and that growing desire for him either. Far from it. It was as if the two of them combined could have made the perfect man for you. Fire and ice.

And what a selfishly deranged thought to think though. Especially when faced with the true pain that your indecisiveness between them could cause.

You didn’t give Kuzan time to reply. You didn’t want him hurting any longer. You resolved yourself to relieve this as much you could for him in this moment. At the very least you could do that as some form of atonement for whatever he’d suffered through today.

You’d had no idea he was still holding onto these kinds of feelings. But maybe so were you. Because this vulnerability was still something that Doflamingo couldn’t fully give you.

If the warlord even had a side like this. If he really did, wouldn’t he have just cut it out as a weakness long ago?

Kuzan had not forsaken any such faults though. You knew he hadn’t in the way his knees weakened as soon as you’d started kissing him again.

He wouldn’t stop you either. He didn’t want to stop as the two of you moved together to fall back onto your bed.

It felt so old and so new all at the same time. You knew just how to undo his tie. Your fingers remembered every button in his vest and his shirt. All those prestigious layers of that marine uniform cast to the floor one after another.

He wasn’t sobering up by any means, but he was more focused then. Wanting something too and controlling the ice so much better now, letting your hands move freely across him as you finally reached bare skin.

His broad chest, breathing for you as you kissed across it. But that milder cold still remained, assisting you even as it now dulled all the aches and pains across your own body. Your bruises, your cracked ribs, all these things that were meaningless to you in this moment.

When your hands ran down his flat abdomen to his belt, you did glance briefly back up to him. You saw that briefest hesitation in his eyes, but then he nodded.

You had his permission to go further. And you didn’t waste it, unbuckling the belt to open it, along with the button and zipper of his white pants soon after.

When it was all loose, he raised his hips to help you in sliding them off. His shoes had already come off sometime at the beginning. Socks now joining them with his pants on your floor.

He was just in his boxer briefs then. Not the instant nudity of Doflamingo who seemed to like nothing between his cock and the open air but those ever tight capris pants.  

You couldn’t help but keep contrasting the two men even then as you gently started to massage Kuzan through his boxers. 

But were you taking advantage of the weakened admiral in the same way that Doflamingo would so gladly have done to you now? And how could his hold already be this strong for you to even be thinking these things? The warlord was still in your bed in your own mind even as another man now laid down into it.

“It’s been a while,” Kuzan breathed out as you felt him beginning to tighten beneath your administrations.

And at first you thought he meant since the last time you and he had actually been together like this. Because yes, that’d be at least three years ago now.

But something in the needful way he still looked at you made you second guess that. Did he mean the last time since he’d been intimate with anyone at all?

“How long, Kuzan?” You asked gently then, realizing he may have neglected himself entirely. Which was completely unnecessary. Kuzan could have about any woman on this base if he actually tried. And he could be a complete flirt when he wanted to be. 

“Almost five months.” He admitted honestly. “A girl at a bar. I didn’t know she was just trying to get back at her boyfriend though.”

“Ouch,” you said affectionately before admitting your own previous record. “Smoker made me wait three months then dumped me.” You half smiled. 

It was something how quickly you could both tell each other almost anything again. Just like it used to be as you fell back into those old rhythms. But there was still that massive shadow hanging over you both. And he hadn’t forgotten it either.

“Did you and Doflamingo…” Kuzan started, even as his abdomen tensed, he was hard beneath those boxers now.

And of course he had a right to know. You could imagine that getting seconds from a pirate was not on any admiral’s wishlist to be sure. Also with the extra baggage of it being unprotected sex as well unfortunately. 

You hadn’t been in the position to demand a condom in either instance of course. Just praying that the pirate was wealthy and intelligent enough to have the right medicines on hand to keep himself clear of STD’s. Your marine issued birth control pills were a necessity you’d always kept to the daily regimen of as well.

Why Doflamingo had insisted on going in raw and not pulling out either you weren’t sure about yet. Whether that was just his reckless nature, or something more specific to you was far too soon to tell.

“Me and him? Twice…” You answered quietly, not without guilt still in your tone. Even if Doflamingo hadn’t gotten to finish you that second time in Sabaody.

Kuzan groaned. You knew if he was sober the reactions would have been so much worse. So maybe the alcohol was still a blessing in its own way. As it was now he just looked somewhat miserable again even as ice crystals still sparkled across the mattress around you both. “I just…don’t understand, (Y/N).”

“I don’t really either,” you admitted too. “And I don’t even know if I can…well, take you right now because of that. I don’t have any condoms here anymore.” You and Smoker had been together long enough to trust that each other were clean. And you were just trying to be up front. Plus you were still torn anyway. You probably couldn’t have endured him without serious ice to numb you again anyway.

But your hands worked fine. Your mouth worked fine if he wanted that. All he had to do was show that it was still okay.

“You don’t have to do anything for me, (Y/N).” He breathed instead as he reached for you then. “That’s not why I’m here.”

And he was then kissing you again, disregarding his erection as you felt him loosening the belt of your bathrobe. His cold hands slipped beneath it as he so gently pulled that last barrier from your shoulders.

You saw him lean back enough to look at you as it fell away. A light frown downturned his lips as he looked across all the damage. 

Kuzan sighed, fingertips tracing some of it with the cold growing a little more around you again. “Of you and me, I was always supposed to be the more self destructive one…when did that change?” 

Probably around the time that he’d first left you you thought to yourself. It had been so hard then. You had to get even tougher to keep going. But when you didn’t answer him, he just shifted you both so that you were now on your back in the bed, him above you as he straddled you. 

And in some way, being under him made you feel so young again. Like true Innocent affection despite still being nude in bed with him right now. How those two things could coexist made about as much sense as anything else right now as he started kissing your collarbones.

You knew he was being so careful with you too, even as his mouth moved lower to suck one of your breasts gently. His chilled mouth teasing you unintentionally as your hand reached up to stroke through his hair and down the back of his neck.

Kuzan had always joked about really liking breasts whenever he flirted with girls. Doflamingo had focused on yours a bit too. But not in the same way that Kuzan made them a real priority as soon as they were available to him.

If you had to pick a part of your body that Doflamingo had seized on most, well it was just the main attraction at this point. He just wanted to fuck you and nothing else as far as you knew. Whether by cock or tongue, that man wanted to be inside.

Kuzan had never been that way though. He wouldn’t say no to the privilege of course, but he’d never been in a hurry. He would get there when he got there. It wasn’t about any specific endgame. It was just about being together.

And yet…even now as Kuzan’s mouth worked your chest and his hand slid protectively over your hip, you didn’t feel like this reunion changed a thing between you.

It didn’t feel like tomorrow would be any different than yesterday or the day before that. Maybe he had missed you. Maybe this was his own form of penance if he thought in any way that his prior actions had put you on a road to falling into the grasp of a man like Doflamingo.

But somehow you still knew that when the sun came up this ice would be melted again and he would be gone. Back to only being your friend.

“Kuzan…” It may be your only chance to ask, the alcohol dropping enough walls for him to answer you once and for all. This question that had plagued you even on the nights that it was Smoker instead who would have been above you like this.

“Hmm?” The admiral turned his head, just resting his head against your chest then to listen to you.

You knew he could hear your heartbeat in that position now as you brought your fingers back into his hair.

“Why did you really leave me…why wasn’t I good enough for you then?”

And he made another sound and you realized he had closed his eyes. But his expression looked somewhat miserable again. He didn’t want to talk about this.

“Kuzan.” You raised your voice a little. 

His eyes opened slightly. He was using your chest as something to rest against all the same. “I’m sorry…I’m just an asshole, (Y/N).” He murmured. “I couldn’t stay. I can’t have a family. None of it. My path doesn’t allow that…it’d just end only one way. I’d lose them…lose you.”

“And nothing has changed now, has it?” You knew the answer already. But you both needed to say it.

“No. It hasn’t. I can’t…”

“You can’t love me.” You finished for him.

“No.” He breathed. “Not that way.”

“It’s okay…” You heard yourself saying. Even with the pain that went through your chest at the final confirmation. “Nobody can.”

He lifted his head, just enough to look at you again. His eyes looked so tired. “That isn’t true.”

You smiled just barely. “It doesn’t matter. Doflamingo isn’t capable of it either I’m sure.” And before he could interrupt you for saying that name that he still didn’t want to hear, you asked something else. 

“So are you going to out me about him? I am still a marine like I said. He put me in a bad spot, but I did what I had to so that I was the only one he hurt. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I’m not a traitor, Kuzan. And if it does go too far, I know you can stop me. Is that what you really came here to tell me?”

And for the first time Kuzan had a trace of fear in his own eyes. But he was also too tired to do much more than interlace his fingers in yours then, with his head still on your chest.

“Hina is the only other one that knows. That boy told her what he saw and she told me. She won’t out you.” He took another breath though. “But I went and saw Doflamingo in Sabaody this morning…”

And an additional streak of fear cut through you at those words. But the most terrible thing of all was that you actually felt a concern for the demon himself. You had almost asked if Kuzan had hurt Doflamingo, if he had frozen him before you bit your lip to stop such insane words from coming out of your mouth.

“We didn’t fight. It came close.” Kuzan said, though his expression didn’t say how much he may have really realized your near slip. “But I thought about it the rest of the day. All day at the bar until I finally realized…”

He’d closed his eyes again. There was a new defeat in the way he’d draped across your body now. “I still don’t understand why it has to be true…but I realized he’s just the kind of man you like to fight with. And you love to fight so much…you always have. So he didn’t just choose you. You’re choosing him. Aren’t you?You wouldn’t give that rush up even if I begged you to…”

You were speechless. 

Kuzan nuzzled further into your bare chest however. He somewhat clumsily reached out to pull the blankets around you both as well.

“I’ll leave in the morning. I trust you…whatever you do.” He murmured. “But I’ll kill him the moment he goes too far. Don’t let him hurt you again…if he does there’s nowhere that pirate could hide from the ice age I’d bring.”

————————————

Late into the night, the rains had finally moved on. But the stress in Doflamingo’s mind had not. He knew that Vergo had carried out his orders just as asked. They hadn’t gotten to talk about it any more as he’d had to go into phone meetings as Joker the rest of the day. But no news was good news. It meant that everything was completed as expected.

The warlord had decided to let the hours pass by even further after that too. Trying to think out his next plans before he’d make any other move.

He’d busied himself too with readying to sail for Dressrosa in the darkness. The Sabaody house would be out of play for a while as he’d gathered the things from his office. 

Even this morning’s threats from Aokiji hadn’t been enough to fully deter him though. He was apparently willing to risk it all as the longer the day had gone on, the more he’d realized that he wanted…no, needed to see you again.

He would absolutely still be holding you to that agreement of staying with him a few nights in exchange for the release of those slaves as well. Just not at Sabaody as things needed a longer pause there now.

The warlord had other houses though. Plenty of them that he could choose farther from Marineford. Somewhere more difficult for unwanted company to interrupt everything he wanted to have all the time in the world to finally do to you. He was sure his opportunity would come.

He hadn’t been boarded on his ship long at all, navigators setting course for Dressrosa as he’d headed below deck and away from the now clear, starlit skies. He’d actually considered just getting a quick nap in as he entered his captain’s quarters to sit alone on his bed as well.

He was more than tired after such a long day. He had more work he could be doing instead of sleeping though. The door already shut and locked as he removed his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. 

The right eye was dry, the left stung even more than usual.

He sat in silence, opening only his right eye after another moment. He rubbed at the left eye, then blinking it to see only shadows and haze through it as always before closing it again to lessen the stinging. 

Leaving his glasses on the nightstand, he laid back onto the bed regardless. He’d kicked off his shoes and put his arms behind his head, probably falling asleep within a half hour at most.

At least until one of the snails rang anyway. There were always several wherever he slept. Different snails for contacts all over the world. 

Doflamingo actually just rolled over for once though, burying his face in his overstuffed pillow. Maybe that nap needed to be a few hours anyway. But the snail just kept ringing. 

And with that amount of persistence he finally had to lift his head up to look. His right eye trying to focus on which snail it was before that eye did widen in realization.

A specific marine snail that hadn’t rang in quite some time was now vibrating among its peers. Doflamingo’s hair was still messy from rolling around in the bed as his strings brought that receiver quickly to his hand. And the snail with it as he pulled it onto the mattress beside him. Hurrying to catch the caller before they might finally stop.

“Well,” He said, already feeling that bit of adrenaline starting to rile him back fully awake too. It really had been a while. “What am I in trouble for this time?” He asked, with his hand partially going over his eyes in habit, as if to hide them even over the phone as he lay on his back again.

“Doflamingo.” Tsuru’s voice carried over. Not angry, not pleased, just fully Tsuru as she answered him. “I had thought you’d outgrown this childish fixation. You’ve been bothering one of my crew again.”

“Do you mean short skirt?” He smiled at her usual bluntness, but it actually wasn’t a harsh expression on his face. There was a little nostalgia here. It’d been a few years since he’d said that older nickname in front of Tsuru.

“I told you not to call her that again.”

“Captain is a lot more boring of an honorific, Tsuru-san.”

Of course, he should have been far more upset at this surprise. Because the moment that Tsuru would become involved between the two of you was inevitable, but also an entire new difficulty level that he may not currently be prepared for.

And yet, it wasn’t at all like being confronted by Aokiji this morning. Doflamingo truly didn’t mind hearing her voice again. Regardless of the circumstances.

“So what accusations am I facing then?” He actually yawned as he stretched within his bed. “Apologies if you’re going to have to be more specific.” 

He could hear Tsuru’s resulting frown even without looking back to the snail, himself always irking her whenever he insisted on being so purposefully informal in their interactions. It was such an old game he never tired of. 

“Firstly, did you misbehave in Mariejois?” Her tone was sharp.

His lips parted slightly. If she was asking, then she was already quite sure that he’d done something. And she was even a step ahead of what Aokiji had been then. But of course he’d expect nothing less from Tsuru.

“She sat with me at the meeting while she gave her little report on the war for you. So professional. I did try to trip her, but that didn’t even work.” He admitted with another rare, genuine smile.

“Brat.” Tsuru grumbled. “But that can’t be the whole of it.”

“You’re the one that had to dangle her in front of me. I don’t know what you expected.” He dared to taunt a little without actually admitting more.

“As I said, I thought you’d outgrown that stupid fixation. You’re too old for this nonsense. Keep to your harems in Dressrosa and leave my crew alone.”

He laughed abruptly. Tsuru actually still saw this as a boyhood crush that he refused to release? He had teased her before about you in the North Blue days, yes. So he knew where she was coming from with this. But it was still something else entirely to hear her say it.

“But my pool girls at the castle can’t fight like she can. They can’t send you or even admirals to gut me like she can. It’s a completely different game. You know how much I like a challenge.”

“You can feel challenged all the way to Impel Down, boy.”

“Feh,” He was still smiling. “You’d miss me and you know it. Besides, we’re on the same side now like you always wanted. Why can’t it just finally be water under the bridge?”

“You’re still a pirate. And you don’t take care of your toys, Doflamingo. You break them and then you discard them. That girl has been with me since she was sixteen. And unfortunately, I know you’ve had your attention on her since then too. But it doesn’t give you any right to her. You think everything belongs to you. That’s not how this works.”

He did frown a little then. But he wasn’t afraid to dig deeper, maybe even complaining to her actually about the injustice he still thought he’d suffered this morning. “You know you aren’t even the first marine to give me this speech today. Though it sounds a lot less patronizing coming from you.”

And there was a pause there. Which actually delighted him a little, with him having even a rare sliver of information that she did not.

“It was your Admiral Aokiji. I guess that’s her new marine boyfriend again already? He came to my house in Sabaody this morning to bitch at me about having that little skirmish with her at the auction house. I suppose I must have made him jealous. He really was an asshole about the whole thing.”

But he couldn’t catch that woman off guard for long, as she absorbed this revelation easily. “Then I hope his ice gave you a wake up call. Just stay out of it. He’s not someone to be trifled with.”

“Neither am I,” The warlord’s pride did force him to remind her then, but he still wasn’t cold in tone. Not to her. “All I’m hearing though is that you all think I’m not good enough for her. It’s insulting. But let’s talk hypothetical since you took your precious time to make this call about her anyway. What happens if she falls for me instead? Do you excommunicate her from your little sailing brigade? Again, per the World Government, you and I are allies now. No matter how much you still call me a regular pirate. There’s nothing regular about me, Vice Admiral.”

It really had been some time since they’d conversed for this long. But Tsuru was always his match and more when it came to verbal debate as she responded without hesitation. “You’re fantasizing about things that can’t be. I have no doubt that you could hide behind your charms for even months or more if you chose to. But she’s not as ruthless as you’d require. And if it did become public, her rank would be frozen at best. She’d lose all credibility. And she’s worked far too hard to throw that away for a man who can’t even love her.”

Doflamingo felt his teeth grit at that damned word. It was simultaneous to that slight twist in his chest again. Yet he didn’t lose his temper. “You’re so practical as always. But tell me the truth then. If I said I wanted to at least try, would you still do everything in your power to stop me? I don’t care what the world thinks of me. A kingdom of my own was my goal for so long. And now I have one thanks to Riku’s madness. So I’m chasing my next treasure. And I’m starting to think that it’s time for Dressrosa to have a queen. I could give her everything. You know that I could. Would it really be so terrible for her?” 

She finally sounded more irritated then, maybe even surprised for a single moment. This was of course the first he was confessing these new intentions to anyone. But it was only natural that she’d be the first to know as Tsuru answered him. “And the moment she does anything at all to challenge your ego, or your ideas of people only existing in tiers beneath you as your servants at best, would you kill her, boy? Because I don’t think you understand how to function any differently than that. A woman is not a toy, not a puppet, not a pet.” 

But she still took another breath, and here showcased the real reason why Doflamingo had tolerated this old marine mother for so many years. “I know you’re lonely. I know it hurts you. But forcing more people into your family against their will is only going to lead to another Minion Island. She’s a marine. She’ll always choose to save others even at the expense of herself in the end. Because that’s what we do. Even if you can only see that selflessness as betrayal to your own aspirations.”

His smile was fully gone as his hand slid away from his eyes then. If the snail copied the look in them now, it was what it was. Tsuru had seen these eyes before of course, and the pain that lived inside them.

“Rosinante never loved me, Tsuru-san. It’s not the same. And I know when things are worth risking and when they aren’t now. I’m smarter than I was then. She doesn’t have to be involved in anything unsavory.” And that was of course putting it lightly. “I don’t need another soldier. I already have plenty.”

“How long has this been going on then?” She asked, seeming to start to accept how very deep into this obsession he already was. How serious he really was.

“Since you recruited and flaunted her in front me years ago.” He responded, as if still blaming Tsuru for all of it too.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it. I made sure she was oblivious to your leering and your dirty comments back then. Because she had a right to grow up without that burden on her self worth. She was still a child.”

“But you still let Aokiji have her.” He retorted, and it was more spiteful there.

Tsuru sighed. They had already been through this too. Years ago when it had first happened. “Don’t you dare lecture me on morality, boy. I’ve raised enough daughters. There does come an age where they’re going to go out and find a partner whether you approve of it or not. And if you don’t let them, the rebellion and self destruction they’ll choose instead would be even worse. I knew he wouldn’t hurt her. Just as much as I knew it wouldn’t last. And it never will now either as long as he’s still wishing to remain an admiral. That’s his own choice after what happened to Zephyr. Kuzan doesn’t want to be close to anyone.”

Doflamingo’s eyebrows lowered. This didn’t make sense to him. And Tsuru had never divulged that extra tidbit before. Aokiji was afraid? “He was ready to try and kill me this morning if I so much as sneezed. He wants her that bad and yet he still chooses to be without her?”

“He chooses distance because he does care about her. You wouldn’t understand. And the only reason I’m telling you this at all is so that you don’t resent her for someone she’s not even going to have. I know how that mind of yours works. You’re the most jealous thing that ever breathed.”

He sneered a little. “Sometimes I think you lie about which devil fruit you really have. You see through everyone don’t you?”

“Not everyone. I know you commit far more crimes than I can put evidence to at this point. But if the question is just how you’ll react to something? Please, you haven’t changed at all.”

“Why do you always have to be so difficult?” He exhaled, even as that tension faded again. “What do I have to do to convince you that I won’t kill her? You talk about your daughters, but what about me? You keep telling me ‘no’ over and over, you know it only makes things worse on this side too. Let me pursue her, even if you think this will never work. Fine, I’ll walk away when I’m done. Just like Aokiji did. But if you keep blocking me, you know it just makes me want to tear right through those walls.”

“You still never answered me on how long this has been going on. You hadn’t asked me about her since you’ve been a king. Now all the sudden you’re fixated more than ever. Why?”

“It was Mariejois of course.” He confirmed. “The very moment you left her alone with me, Tsuru-san. Can’t you at least commend my patience? It only took that many years for you to think I’d forgotten about her.”

“And then Sabaody.” She said, taking her own deep breath, seeming to accept this as her mistake. Obviously she didn’t know the extent of what had happened in either instance. She only knew that his desire for you had been fully rekindled because of it.

“So, I answered you.” His voice was fully serious though. “You do the same. What do I have to do to prove to you that I can play house with her without any casualties? You never know, she might even like it enough that she decides being a queen is a better gig than being shot at by pirates all day long as a marine.”

Tsuru still scoffed. “I can’t hand her over to someone whose going to inevitably destroy her. I don’t know how more plainly I can say that. You’ll never have my blessing.”

And there was a deeper desperation that must truly be there for him to use this comparison now. “But I’ve never truly hurt you, Tsuru-san. We’ve argued, and we’ve pitted our soldiers against one another like pieces on a chessboard over and over. But I never have gone for your throat, have I? And I won’t. And you know why.”

The silence in that moment made him smile again. Aokiji had been such a prick to think he was truly lying about this this morning. “I didn’t force you into my family.” Doflamingo kept on. “All those years ago, when you took that wounded boy you so pitied into your heart willingly. So let me do the same for her. I have room for you both in what’s left of mine. Because a boy will always need his mother figure. But now this man wants his queen as well.”

“I don’t think there is a heart there anymore, Doflamingo. Even as remnants. But, I’m not going to waste more breath on what you clearly have already decided. So I’ll say this. I can’t stop her. But I will tell her the truth. Everything I know about you. And unfortunately, it doesn’t break any written protocol we have for a marine to fraternize with a warlord given your government immunity. So I can’t formally punish either of you. But as I said, it absolutely would be a social stigma that could ruin all she’s accomplished. And I’ll warn her of that too. In short, I’ll do all I can to show her the terrible choice you would really be.”

“I can accept that challenge.” Doflamingo did smile again then. This was the best it would possibly be then. He was realistic enough to know that. So honestly, it almost did feel like a victory. 

And Tsuru always had the perfect read on every situation as long as she had enough information to do so. The ‘Great Tactician’ they still called her.

So Doflamingo also believed her when she said that Aokiji would not take you back. Not fully or publicly anyway. And the warlord could live with this too. Because it meant that you’d never truly belong to Kuzan, even if he still wanted you. Because half measures weren’t enough for you. You were an all or nothing kind of woman.

And Doflamingo would now be the only one of the two of them willing to go all in.

His grin had stretched from ear to ear once more. 

He’d won.

“Well anything else to berate me with before I hang up? I think I’m actually going to sleep well for once tonight. So thank you. I do enjoy these late night chats. We should get them back on a regular schedule again shouldn’t we?”

“Mind yourself, boy. Nothing’s changed. Slip up and I’ll have some nice chains for you on your way to Impel Down.”

“Love you too, Tsuru-san.” Doflamingo laughed, that word of course sounding so unnatural just by the nature of the man it came from. But he still liked to say it to her for how much it pissed her off each and every time that he did.

And as she immediately hung up on him to prove her reaction indeed remained the same, he just smiled into his pillow as he buried his face again. There was a large weight off of him now. He’d be back to sleep very soon.

He’d actually let you sleep uninterrupted tonight as well, wherever you were. He could call you again tomorrow and start this chase all over again.

——————————

    T⨂  BE 

CONTINUED

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