Reader115

"What is funny?"

"Hm?" Shane looks up, Ilya is studying him.

"Another message from Rose?" Ilya says in a way that Shane realises is meant to sound uninterested, before turning to put a stack of plates where they belong.

"All her messages so far have been about how things are going with you." He says with fond exasperation. They've had this topic twice already.

Ilya closes the dishwasher and mirrors Shanes lean against it, crossing his arms. Shrugs.

"Tell her amazing. I am the best at sex and you can't get enough of me. And that she can talk to you in october."

Shane snorts and shakes his head. I did tell her the first bit. He doesn't add that.

"It wasn’t Rose. It was my dad."

Ilya stands up straighter instantly, arms uncrossing.

"Oh."

"What, no joke how he can't be funny because he's boring?" Shane doesn't fight his smile.

"I like your farther, he drinks good vodka. What did he say?" The serious tone of his voice makes Shane move closer, wrapping his arms around Ilya's middle and squeeze him a little with his next words.

"He said he thinks my boyfriend is a good egg."

Ilya pulls his head back, to look at Shane better in surprise. There's a hestitant smile but he's also frowning.

"Egg?"

The smile on Shane's face grows wide and soft. He nods. "Mhmm."

"Is good thing, yes?"

"Yes." Shane leans in for a short kiss. Just a peck. Then two more because Ilya has this proud little smile on his face now.

"So, they don't hate me for you."

It's said as a statement, but Shane answers it anyway, to make sure Ilya hears it.

"They don't hate you for me." With a single nod.

The following kisses are hindered by the wide grin on Ilya's face.

---

He is Freaking Out bc he doesn't actually know what Ilya's phone number is. His SIM card got crushed underneath a pair skates, so there's no recovering "Lily's" contact card.

On top of that, his old Ottowa number won't transfer to his Montreal provider. So "Lily's" texts will now be delivered into the ether. Or to some random person's phone if his old Ottowa number gets given out again.

Ilya of course has literally no idea this has happened and is sending his usual flirtatious messages to...silence. No response. He's not even getting left on read. Because the messages aren't even getting read. He goes through the five stages of grief. Fuck Shane Hollander, he doesn't need this shit. They're supposed to play against each other Tomorrow for fucks sake. His resolve lasts for about....two hours? And then he's on social media. What's this fucking asshole up to that he can't even read Ilya's texts?

He pulls up the first interview, the one right after Buffalo. Shane looks....really stressed out. Which is confusing given that they've just won.

"Yes of course I am super happy to win. Unfortunately the locker room celebration did get a little out of hand though."

He holds up his mangled phone.

"So if you're trying to contact me, sorry about that!"

He's blushing and smiling and seems so flustered and embarrassed. He's looking at a camera, millions of people can hear him, but he's speaking directly to Ilya. Ilya's face breaks out into his "you have a stylist?" smile. He feels....a little embarrassed about his crashout, but also super fucking relieved. Ilya swipes through a couple more videos and watches the most recent interview.

"We are absolutely looking forward to facing off against the Raiders. Also I brought this up last time but, turns out I can't keep my old phone number. So if you're texting me and I'm not responding, it's because I can't!"

He laughs, but it seemd a bit forced. Like he might tear up if he gets pushed the wrong way. Ilya goes back and watches through all the interviews since the Buffalo game. Shane has found a way to bring up his broken phone in every single interview for the past two weeks. It's so sweet...and also a little heartbreaking. He knew exactly what was gonna happen, and was terrified of Ilya thinking that he didn't want to talk to him. He didn't want Ilya to feel alone and confused and upset. He's so fucking ernest and endearing.

Towards the end, only Ilya remains. No one can break him, so they go get Shane. He’s got a little smile while they explain and he starts thinking of what to say. Of what he can say for a video going on the internet.

He hesitates, because he knows what he wants to tell Ilya, but keep it their secret. No one else needs to know what this was about, but he’s saved this tidbit, waiting to play it at the right time. Ilya’s steeling himself. He loves Shane and usually would smile with him just in the room, trying do be earnest about anything, but he won’t let his husband break him for this. Finally Shane makes direct eye contact with Ilya -

‘The first time, after the commercial,’

Ilya tenses, eyes light up but he’s keeping his face neutral. He isn’t sure what he thought Shane would say but it wasn’t this.

‘ while I was waiting for you -‘

‘I put on a suit and tie.’

Ilya has never been so happy to lose at something

i feel like rose probably went for the heaviest option available, so like a 40 pounder, so it does have some good heft to it

and what he's doing is just teasing shane to lighten the mood, but person at the coffee shop behind him in line is just

and this then backfires on him SO FAST.

now weighted blanket brands are sending shane pr trying to get him to mention them/show them off in a picture, and ilya is now fucking SURROUNDED by mistresses all competing for his husband's attention. BULLSHIT. HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED.

weighted blanket eleven comes in the mail and ilya goes live on instagram just FURIOUS. the frame is him in front of a PILE of weighted blankets and he is just

"enough! enough of this! are too many in our house. is like being fucking-shane, what is word? people in utah, they have many wives?"

shane in the background, not fully paying attention: "mormons?"

"those! we are not mormons! household is FULL. marriage is FULL. stop this! every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house."

"every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house" goes viral as a sound for people surrounded by clutter/pets/etc.

Ilya: that's not true! I did! In the shower!

Shane: I introduced myself to you at world juniors!

Ilya: that wasn't a move! That was normal introduction!

Shane: Ilya, baby, when have you ever known me to initiate a social interaction with a stranger?

Ilya couldn’t understand what the reporter is saying, Shane stepped up to answer for him.

He felt something was off with Ilya in Sochi, kept checking up on him.

After Sochi when Shane realized how dangerous Russia is for Ilya, he tried to convince Ilya to not go back by asking if it's safe, if he has to go back.

When Ilya opened up about his father, Shane climbed up on his lap and hugged him. In that entire episode he kept checking up on Ilya to see if he is okay, if everything back home is okay.

When they get to the cottage, Shane is taking his bag, making his food, making sure he is taken care of. When Ilya talks about the danger of having a Russian passport and marrying Svetlana, Shane is the one who stays up all night to make them 10 years plan.

When his mom questions Ilya's loyalty to Boston Shane defends him.

This isnt the end. In TLG, Shane defends Ilya to Hayden and JJ.

When the near plane crash happens Shane proposes to show Ilya that he is 100% sure about them.

Most importantly when the Commissioner threatens Ilya and Shane to destroy their career, Shane snaps and says he chooses Ilya.

-only to IMMEDIATELY lose shane's interest to the architecture of his house

and shane meanwhile is having a great time pressing the accelerator on this guilt trip

cuddling anya and just, "i know, huh? papa left and played with WHO KNOWS HOW MANY other dogs, and the whole time you were here missing him"

ilya, who is lowkey devastated: "hollander, this is not a joke."

"no, it isn't, huh, anya? you're so, so sad now."

"...hollander PLEASE. anya, i am sorry-"

"it seems like he's saying something, but we can't hear cheaters, can we, anya?"

Hi Sarah! 💖 thanks for the ask!

14. What do you think Terry is doing in Hell right now?

Short answer: Suffering, hopefully 🤞

Long answer: pretty much this fic ->

What He Missed by @reader115

Terry Milkovich thought a nun and a plastic bag were the worst things to ever happen to him. Instead, it turns out to be an afterlife where his spirit is tied to his children so that he’s forced to witness each living happily now that he’s gone. While his time with the first three kids had been relatively brief, the universe seems intent on forcing him to spend the most time with Mickey and his giant ginger husband.