she of iron

if tony were being scientific—— then yes, obviously pepper is probably still a danger. extremis was, last he checked, incredibly unstable. but there’s other facts to consider. twice now, the orange glow has faded entirely from pepper’s eyes the moment she’s seen him. that says—— something. and it’s been days. if the initial settling of extremis was going to blow her up, it would have happened by now.

""it's weird. it doesn't hurt, but i definitely feel... not myself completely." her dna had been rewritten, added to, enhanced. she's certain someone out there could philosophise about the connection between dna and personality but that's not her forte. instead she just pulls the sleeves of her purloined sweatshirt that he'd loaned her down over her arms, watching him with tired eyes.

there's a lump in his throat. he's not sure why. the relief he feels in this moment, pepper's safe. pepper loves him, in spite of everything. maybe that's overwhelming him. maybe he just loves her so fucking much.

"i just want you to be safe," she says quietly. because even after everything she's been put through ---- everything that now DEFINES her, irrevocably ---- she still always puts him first. it's a burden that has ranged from absolutely impossible to now something she feels is more reciprocal, because he'd saved her, too.

her hands rest on his shoulders, the slight tremble of her fingers the only indication of how much effort she's using just to calm herself down. so much has happened so quickly, and there's still so much yet to come. he'll fix this, she knows. she believes. but until the virus burning through her dna is gone, pepper feels as though she's fragmented into pieces.

has he? pepper has always been there for HIM ( when he's allowed her to be ) but tony isn't sure the reverse is true. he tries, sure, especially since afghanistan, but------

in a weird way, that's probably the most romantic thing tony could have said to her, assuaging her fears at the same time. pepper leans in and kisses him softly, resting her forehead against his.

when tony thinks about it---- and he doesn't, very often, he thinks that pepper is the strongest person he knows. he knows steve rogers, and natasha romanoff, and fucking thor, but none of them hold a candle to pepper.

her hands rest on his shoulders, the slight tremble of her fingers the only indication of how much effort she's using just to calm herself down. so much has happened so quickly, and there's still so much yet to come. he'll fix this, she knows. she believes. but until the virus burning through her dna is gone, pepper feels as though she's fragmented into pieces.

tony is quiet. every sob wrenches at him, but he stays, silent and unflinching. it hurts to hear her cry, of course it does, he loves her. but it’s more than that, it’s knowing that this is the result of what she’s been through. it’s knowing that something, somebody hurt pepper so much that she’s crying in his arms. 

her laugh is weak, muffled by the last of her shaky sobs. but she feels calmer having let all of the tension out of her body, letting tony hold her and bear her weight while she gets everything out. with a sniffle she raises her head from his shoulder, letting go of him with one hand to brush the tears off her cheeks.

tony catches a glimpse of her face as she steps forward, and was it only yesterday he’d seen the terror in her eyes when iron man had stepped into her cell? this is different but it tears at something in his chest, and then she sobs, and fuck, FUCK------

it's not fair. it's not fair that this is what they've had to endure just to be able to acknowledge the TRUTH that's been haunting them for years -- that pepper needs tony, that she loves him as much as it is the reverse. maybe if they had figured it out sooner, this would have ended up differently.

something in his heart cracks. aches, for her. he squeezes her hand gently, eyes dark and so, so sad. “i know it’s not my strong suit, but. you change your mind, you want to talk about it? i’ll listen.” he can promise that too.

she's been putting up a front ever since he'd first found her, and though the cracks had formed a few times, pepper still really hasn't dealt with any of it the way she knows she should. she squeezes his hand back and then steps into his space, hugging him tightly, face burying into his shoulder so he can't see the tears threatening to fall.

lying to SHIELD is the least of tony’s concerns------- he has lied to his friends, his colleagues, the public, so much and so often that it’s become second nature. “i don’t think they’ll ask that many questions of iron man, they know i don’t answer most of them,” he starts, but then pepper’s looking at him, her expression’s changed, and---

"physically, i'm fine. no bumps, no bruises -- everything heals instantly. that's what's so unnerving about all of this, honestly..." she suppresses a shudder, looking down at her unmarked arms. not a scratch even after the fight the night before.

logistics. he can do this. ( if he can just get his brain to focus on the problem and not the exact colour of pepper’s eyes. ) he’s been successfully managing his secret identity for years now, after all. he’s gotten good at this. ( too good, perhaps. ) 

"right, that could work. we're the only witnesses to the sequence of events, so if we have to change it a bit, that should be fine. we're not technically lying..." pepper is entirely too honest to be able to keep up a charade like that anyway. "as for why iron man would have been looking into AIM in the first place..." she shrugs. "someone could have tipped him off. killian wasn't exactly subtle about extremis, so i'm sure he could have told other investors."

"are you suggesting that we wouldn't coordinate if we were dating?" tony is a national icon ( of some sort ) and he has standards to maintain.

"tony, it's the middle of the work day..." she protests, albeit weakly. she does need a new dress, and obviously he knows she has a weakness for expensive shoes...

“seven minutes?” tony questions aloud, unnecessarily. “who’s doing what in seven minutes?”

pepper is quickly skipping forward in his calendar on her phone to see what he has in the books for the week of the wedding. nothing in stone yet, easily moveable ------

"wow, i didn't know i was so good in bed that the universe might explode," tony says, just to be annoying, smirking. "i gotta put that on the business cards."

"seven minutes in heaven. given they've got the maturity of high school students sometimes, that's actually plausible," pepper says with an arched eyebrow. both have asked pointed questions about their working relationship before -- pepper had always dismissed them.

tony had not been worrying about the damage to the company ( he probably should have been; this is why pepper's CEO and not him. ) HIS concern had been entirely for pepper.

he has a point. she knows he's iron man now, but obviously he's not going to unmask himself to the rest of the world. "right. coulson knows about my connection to YOU, but as far as they're concerned they shouldn't know of any connection to iron man. that's going to be harder to explain. i feel like if we make up any kind of connection between you and iron man, they're going to be suspicious."

"yes, some of us fly around in metal suits, while others prefer to just set boundaries," pepper says, only mostly joking. tony had DEFINITELY hit on her more than once when she'd first been hired. and she knew about his reputation when she'd accepted the job offer to become his personal assistant. any flirting they had ever done, and still occasionally do, was rooted in rapport more than any sincere feelings.

is there anything else? tony’s already forgotten how much he’s already told her in the face of those green eyes. 

his explanation makes sense, why he would want to start fresh. and pepper is still perplexed, even months into the role, that he'd chosen her. but she can't deny she's fallen in love with the job, it's right in her wheelhouse.

she kisses him, and that's enough of a distraction, enough to chase the shivers from his spine. he lingers, disappointed as she pulls away, uncertain how exactly he's supposed to focus on anything more serious now when he has her in his arms.