Poetic Raven

I instantly thought of you.

I bought it.

While telling myself I’ll give it to you someday..

Even though you’re a stranger now.

But it doesn’t work

The dead weight of two hundred and seventy pounds of solid skeletal muscle feels like a building you can’t move

The panic, the disbelief, the terror

All your ALS medic training

it doesn’t work.

He’s going to die, why didn’t you go check on him sooner

Because he’s been sober for years now , he’s been sober , he’s been sober…

BABY WAKE THE FUCK UP

driving my knuckles into his sternum

Five first responders

trying to move him

nothing works

Until someone reaches over me, and sprays narcan in his nose

Seven minutes feels like an eternity

He’s breathing again

His eyes open

Confused

“Baby what happened ??“

The aftermath is destroying me

you’re a testament of time

I’ve been dying inside

your words are always my place to hide

I’ve stood in the grey

and faded away

silently

under grace

violently

make my

mistakes

constriction makes it hard to breathe

wide awake

in this empty space

devoid of everything I need

your God grants serenity

my Gods have abandoned me

or maybe that’s just how it seems

the more of you

the less of me

this grey space consuming me

I’ll fold your words

in tiny notes

mixed with ash

and choke

in the back of my throat

while dreaming of a softer girl I’ll never be

Brick and mortar

crime scene

right hook

obscene

dreadlocked red lip Pin up queen

forever a dead end one way street

I’ll die all alone with my broken bones

ghost

writing

poetry

Now speaks

in bitter

tones

I’m exhausting, love, I know..

You want love to flow freely from my bones

You want my blood

my dreams

my soul

claim me as your own

I never told you that I loved you

I’m just better off alone

but it

fucking

hurts

that I came so close

it hurts

letting you go..

veiled premonition

in motionless nights

your prophetic dreams

play tricks on my mind

Lessen the need

Nailed hard to me

Unrestrained

Untamed

Seething with some unnamed rage

Like someone just let me out of your cage

Focused but I can't see straight

chosen by unscripted fate

Flames danced across your broken bones

Marrow spilt prisms in effulgent tones

Climb inside

Possess my mind

This is where I fall behind ...

your Lazarus eyes

oceanic tides

heavy with visions from the other side

Your rainbow of fire succored in smoke

While flames dance across my scarlet bones

sparks of ozone

Calling you home

I value you when I catch your eye and get a heart on my work