you saw the url

- she’s like “hey Edward does your family go antiquing” and he’s like “uh no why do you ask” “oh it’s just your sister Rosalie’s broach is from the 1957 spring collection of-”

- “why is your edition of Macbeth from 1911?”

- “does it bother you that your brother Jasper calls it the war of northern aggression like wtf is that”

- “yknow Emmett asked me if Charlie was a soldier in World War II”

- “Alice just asked me if I watch I Love Lucy on the tube? Is she being ironic?”

- “Ever notice how your dad says thou sometimes?” And “When I was at the hospital I saw him cross ‘hysteria’ out of my patient notes”

- “your mom must really like Gibson girl updos, she’s always sporting one at the store”

favorite vampires of twilight: jasper hale