ravenowsky

i specifically remember the time i drew these sketches. we didn't have a teacher for an hour. i was sitting two seats away from the window. my classmates are laughing, talking, having fun, while i drew on the side, still listening to what they had to say. the one face in the second sketch is my so-called friend. but then it remained unfinished because she didn't want me drawing her face, probably because she was too self-conscious. good for her, she's an asshole with a sour heart. louie was there, too, and he had a crush on that girl that time and i'm the only one who knows. we didn't know then what i knew now, almost a decade later, we'll all become complete strangers.

there might not even be a tomorrow. gods have mercy

i want to say this is what my heart looks like but it's too artificial and pristine. sure, it's chaotic, but it should be rotten and dead and maggot-infested. so, no, this is not what my heart is like.

i used to hate the grass,,,,,,,, i still hate it now.

"What superficiality - and what stupidity - there is in trying to depict in a pretty manner things which one has thought pretty. The masters through their subjective perceptions created beauty out of trivialities. They did not hide their interest even in things which were nauseatingly ugly, but soaked themselves in the pleasure of depicting them. In other words, they seem not to rely in the least on the misconceptions of others."

sorry, have been busy. i started a new instagram account based on my polymath journey, plus i got a job now (again) so that's great. i'm preparing pre-employment documents and submitting my requirements. i'm a little bit stressed out but it'll be okay. here's an eye for an eye.

from raven's "songs; the complete list"

from the single Loveless (1991) — genre(s): Shoegaze, Noise Pop

the best kind of shoegaze is the ones that make your toe curl a bit and experience a warming sensation on the part of your abdomen for a little while. i think my bloody valentine's to here knows when is one of those tracks that just gets you, y'know. like you're in love and everything can and will go right from here on out, to here knows when. this song is all about (probably) getting back with your ex, remembering what it was like the first time you laid with them. it's magical, surreal, bodies mixed together as if an amalgamation of celestial beings. yet it's bittersweet, because it means a whole lot different than it was before, or maybe this is just a fleeting moment, something that may or may not be repeated, a mistake too probably. move on top. because that way you touch her too these lyrics tell us that the other person has been with other people before, after their situationship, and this has been a repeat of those acts somehow. and yet it doesn't matter. this is their moment, it's enchanting and magnetic — you know this moment is gonna end soon but tonight, this is us and everything we built from way back in the beginning. words aren't said, let the music of the rhythmic bodies do the talking.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Move on top Because that way you touch her too Turn your head Come back again to here knows when

my shoes are made for walking, not for kicking ass, apparently.

we've all been there — well, i guess a select some of us who's well into adulthood and has realized all the horrors of real life and all that shit. shit's tough, y'know. it's amazing how most of us are just keeping it all together, collectively ignoring how fucked up everything is because if, for one second, you glanced towards that way, you're fucked. like the bird box of reality, you're gonna smite yourself if you see the monster. goddamn it all to hell.

i once had a classmate who's a really bright student. he looked up to me as his master of arts and academia. years later, when i dropped out of highschool, he graduated with honors and has a steady future ahead of him. he used to play baseball and he really liked MAJOR so i drew him this drawing of goro. it's weird to see the contrast now of our lives, where he's thriving in his career and i'm just trying to breathe. i remember feeling so small and jealous that he looked up to me, yet i look shameful now, after all. such is life.

sheena (a classmate of mine) really liked this drawing. she likes cute things and girly stuff. and i think it says a lot about people's taste in art.

from raven's "songs; the complete list"

from the single Pearly-Dewdrops' Drops / Pepper-Tree (1984) — genre(s): Dream Pop, Post-Punk

To say I have any idea what this song is even about is an overstatement I am absolutely clueless. The only thing I can take away from this is how ephemeral Elizabeth Fraser's voice is, the overlaying of vocals is magical, and the general ambiance is just pure dreamy. "Pearly dewdrops' drops" can be interpreted as money or wealth, with relation to the lyrics lucky, lucky, lucky, penny, penny, penny. Basically, when a new day comes, another opportunity to gain profit. Or just really a brand new day, after some rain, where dewdrops drop from the leaves, signifying a fresh and clear morning air than ever before. ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

We'll be sold when Roddy comes Comes for pearly dewdrop's drops When Roddy comes ('Tis the lucky, lucky, penny, penny, penny) (Buys the pearly to their souls)