Raquelarella

And,“ she said, “if you have someone who stays up with you in the middle of the night to make sure you’re okay - somebody who answers your calls at 2 or 3 or 4am - someone who listens to your sobs, or your silence, or your words with patience, you have somebody who loves you. And you’re lucky for it. And no matter how dark things get, you shouldn’t forget that.

I started missing you long before you actually left. I started missing you when you stopped sending me good morning text messages. I started missing you when your words became more vague and distant. I started missing you when you stopped saying that you loved me. I started missing you long before you actually ever left. Now you’re back, and I still miss you, but I’ve become quite well versed in loving shadows.

He opens the door, and his words tell me how pretty I look in my dress, but his eyes won’t stop asking me to take it off. Tell me, when did we as a human race forget how to fall in love? No, I don’t mean being best friends on Snapchat, or changing your relationship status on Facebook. Because now it seems to be just that. Nowadays, I see boys asking girls to pose half-naked for them after talking for two or three days. And I see girls hesitantly obliging and even encouraging this because that’s the most affection they’ve gotten all week. I see boys crashing their lips into girls like a nail gun to their favorite Playboy poster.  And I see girls posting their entire relationship on social media, good and bad. I see people texting “I don’t think I want anything serious right now,” instead of “Hey, can we meet up? I need to talk to you.” And I see people drinking in sex like bottles of Brandy to numb their heartbreak, just to come up hungover when it’s done. But most of all, I see boys rushing into sex before they’re ready, and girls lying about their number because they’re ashamed. What happened to communication? To intimacy? To connection? There is nothing wrong with wanting to not take life so seriously and to want to just have fun, The issue is when the lines of love and hooking up get blurred, and intentions aren’t honest, That’s when I see nothing but hurt.

It’s okay to cry if the person you thought loves you ends up tearing you apart by leaving.

And the hardest thing to do was to watch you as you chose her.

I hugged her goodnight but if only I knew it was a goodbye I would’ve held on tighter. Maybe then she wouldn’t be gone.