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Traffic: traffic is projected to be at normal levels due to the city functioning as intended and no unplanned delays currently happening. We advise citizens to opt for various forms of public transport in order to minimize the congestion in the roads. Remember, each district is largely walkable so pick up your feet!

More news: the City Council is still debating whether to make the lives of our Heroes harder, but they’ve been getting quite a bit of pushback from our citizens which is causing numerous delays in the decision making.

Peaceful protests for human-hybrid equality have just started up again! There is a currently a bill being proposed that will pass through the hands of shareholders of large corporations before reaching the City Council or the Mayor’s desk, so keep up the effort and make sure to show your opinion using money.

Traffic: you don’t need to worry about that.

Weather: flan

More news: Herman the theologian set up a stall at District 7’s farmers market selling air textured and flavored cranberry pies. According to him, “This recent batch turned out extremely well! I hope everyone tries at least a slice.”

Barely visible at certain angle and virtually invisible at every other angle birds have been dropping bananas throughout the city; these bananas, when made contact with—even through clothes—, turn sentient beings into a large pile of dragonfruit. These dragonfruit have not proved to be harmful yet. Scientists are working to see if there’s a way to reverse the effect but have not been making much progress thus far.

Due to Ranked City no longer being in a state of emergency, Secret Police will now resume treating every Vigilante and Villain as a hostile upon sight.

Residents of District 9: there was no need to panic, but im sure you all are glad you did :) turns out the readings were loose energy from the Void Portal! No portal will be opening up in District 9 anytime soon.

All civilians must return to their homes or take shelter in the nearest building. Heroes will be patrolling the city in order to make sure the curfew is followed. This is not a drill.

Traffic: due to Hero Fyroah vaporizing all of the undead, traffic is expected to rise back to normal levels, even if just slightly below. Reports say that if a flock of crows screaming about blood sacrifices and submitting yourself for purification existed, one would be circling around the city currently, searching for any weaklings. The W subway’s railways seem to have portals hidden in their tunnels; one witness says he was “stuck on the train… for… years…. It was so cold…”

More news: the RCR’s boycott on The Daily Tribune has ceased, due to The Daily Tribune sending over Interns with flamethrowers to melt down the giant ice wall that was keeping the undead horde out, but also us (us being the staff at the RCR, various other Radio Show’s staff, and the McDonald employees) in. RCR’s programs will remain on schedule and undisrupted.

The “Just Altoid” program will run undisrupted, but the same cannot be said for the “FarLands” and “Andread” programs, hosted by Graident Grey and Andronicus respectively. For more details, check the statements made on their individual websites :)

I’ve given the petition to Station Management and they’re discussing how to proceed. It’s likely that all posts made by me, Intern Skylar, will be deleted so as to not prevent further confusion for the new listeners just finding this account; this includes the announcement that i’ll be taking over the account, but not the official news related posts. Its been a pleasure working alongside you all for the past few hours / days (i dont remember all that much, it’s difficult keeping track of time while stuck in one place)!

Remember, stay afraid and stay informed.