Space Muse

With National Novel Writing Month coming up, I know a lot of people are planning their novels. I’m a planster (halfway between a plotter and a pantser) so these asks are aimed at us!  

First Look  1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch) 2. What is your novel’s aesthetic?  3. What other stories inspire your novel? 4. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel 

Main Character 5. Who is your protagonist? 6. Who is their closest ally?  7. What do they want more than anything?  8. Why can’t they have it?  9. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?  10. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Plot Points  11. What is the internal conflict?  12. What is the external conflict? 13. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist? 14. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?  15. Do you know how it ends? 

Instead of telling yourself, “I should get up,” or “I should do this,”

Ask yourself, “When will I get up?” or “When will I be ready to do this?”

and i mean each TINY step. just getting out of my chair has this many steps:

pause music

remove headphones

hang headphones on laptop screen

pick up laptop

leg-bend recliner footrest shut

set laptop aside

stand

and i reckon that’s why i get stuck on it; because i’m trying to treat it as one thing, while executive dysfunction is treating it as seven things, and choking on trying to skip to step seven.

concurrent with this is a method i call ‘junebugging’. which is where i go to the location of the thing i want to do, and just sort of bump around the region like a big stupid beetle until the thing somehow accidentally magically gets done. this is an attempt to leverage ADHD into an advantage; i may not have the executive function to make myself a sandwich on purpose, but if i fidget in the kitchen long enough, some kind of food is going to end up in my mouth eventually. and hell, even if i fail on that front, i will probably have achieved something, even if it’s only pouring all my loose leaf tea into decorative jars.*

@star-anise please may i give you an internet hug *hug!* because god how i wish anyone had known to do that for me when i was a kid. my childhood was one big overload, and like 99% of the huge dramatic meltdowns that made me the scapegoat/laughingstock/target of my entire elementary school were simply due to people not giving me time to process the next step, and interpreting a bluescreen as defiance/insult.

also, i thought i should put in: try to honestly figure out what you’re averse to, that makes things so tough. making a whole bunch of decisions really fast? the potential of things to make a horrible noise? the shame of failure? having to put down what you’re doing now? having to clean up whatever it is you might go do when you’re done?

for instance, for me, the difficulty rating on anything goes waaaay up when a step of a task is ‘go somewhere people will look at you,’ which is for me about the unpleasantness equivalent of ‘jump into a very cold swimming pool right now’. you know you’ll be fine and even have fun once you’ve settled into it, but it still takes a lot of shuffling around and bracing yourself first to go for it. and some days you just don’t fucking want to go swimming.

Dealing with executive dysfunction and ADHD becomes so much easier when you stop trying to do things the way you feel like you should be able to do them (like everyone else) and start finding ways that actually work for you, no matter how “silly” or “unnecessary” they seem.

For years my floor was constantly covered in laundry. Clean laundry got mixed in with dirty and I had to wash things twice, just making more work for myself. Now I just have 3 laundry bins: dirty (wash it later), clean (put it away later), and mystery (figure it out later). Sure, theoretically I could sort my clothes into dirty or clean as soon as I take them off and put them away straight out of the dryer, but realistically that’s never going to be a sustainable strategy for me.

How many garbage bins do you need in a bedroom? One? WRONG! The correct answer is one within arms reach at all times. Which for me is three. Because am I really going to get up to blow my nose when I’m hyperfocusing? NO. In allergy season I even have an empty kleenex box for “used tissues I can use again.” Kinda gross? Yeah. But less gross than a snowy winter landscape of dusty germs on my desk.

I used to be late all the time because I couldn’t find my house key. But it costs $2.50 and 3 minutes to copy a key, so now there’s one in my backpack, my purse, my gym bag, my wallet, my desk, and hanging on my door. Problem solved.

I’m like a ninja for getting pout the door past reminder notes without noticing. If I really don’t want to forget something, I make a physical barrier in front of my door. A sticky note is a lot easier to walk past than a two foot high cardboard box with my wallet on top of it.

my executive dysfunction:

Characters with:

- Epilepsy

- Diabetes 

- Psoriasis

- Rheumatoid Arthritis

- Inflammatory bowel disease (crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis)

- Cystic Fibrosis

- Celiac Disease

- Hypothyroidism/Goiter

- Hyperthyroidism 

- Asthma 

- Paramyloidosis

- Sarcoidosis

- Multiple Sclerosis

- Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis

- Spina bifida

- Lupus 

Here’s something quick for you, because this is something I just had to do myself – it’s my script for making a doctor’s appointment. I hate the doctors and I hate making appointments, but I can help to make it very quick and painless for you.

Before you even touch the phone, you’re gonna need a few details. Grab a notebook and pen and your calendar (app) of choice and get them in front of you. The receptionist might ask you to confirm your identity by asking you for your address or date of birth. Make sure that you have both on hand. Yes, I would recommend you write down your date of birth and put it in front of you – you have no idea how often someone’s asked me for it and my brain just blanked out, like I’d never been born at all.

If you’re anxious, take some deep breaths. Virgil the Vigilant from Thomas Sander’s videos has a great technique: breath in for four seconds, hold for seven, breathe out for eight. Then, dial the doctor’s office and wait for the line to pick up. Depending on the quality of your doctor’s office and the demand, you might be put in the queue for a while. 

When the receptionist answers the phone, start by saying: “Hello, my name is [INSERT NAME] and I’d like to make an appointment.”

If you need or want a specific doctor, add: “I’d like to make it with Dr. [INSERT NAME].” If not, don’t bother with this step. If the receptionist asks, just reply with “Any doctor is fine.”

You can also order blood tests on the phone the same way if a hospital or other service requests it – or, if you’re like me, if you need to take a regular or semi-regular test for monitoring purposes. Instead of saying you need a specific doctor, say: “I’d like a nurse’s appointment to take a blood test for [INSERT INSTITUTION/REASON HERE].”

The receptionist will then give you a date and time. Check then and there with your calendar (app) that you have free time to attend the appointment. If not, say: “I can’t make that time and date, is there any other time or date available?”

Repeat until you have a time that works for you. When you’ve settled on a date and time, write that thing down or put it on your calendar (app) so you won’t forget it. Then say: “That time’s fine, thank you.”

Make sure you say thank you, then hang up. Congratulations! You just made a doctor’s appointment. 

Additional tip: always make sure to repeat date and time when confirming. Say something along the lines of “ okay, [insert time and date] is fine”. That way you can avoid any possible misunderstandings or mistakes on either side.

I just got certified in CPR and First Aid last month with the American Heart Association. I wanted to share this information with you, because a lot of what we see on TV is not at all accurate as to what you’re supposed to do to actually help someone. Here are some of the topics that were covered:

First Aid Basics

Here are the steps you should follow when addressing a situation where a person may be injured/unconscious: 

Check to make sure the scene is safe- you are no help to anybody if you also get hurt

If the person is responsive: “Are you okay?”

If they are unresponsive, hit their shoulders hard and yell: “Are you okay?” to see if you can rouse them

Phone 911 and put the phone on speaker (you can delegate this task to somebody else if you’re not alone)

Have somebody get a First Aid kit (don’t leave the person if you’re by yourself unless the 911 operator tells you to)

Is the person conscious? Unconscious?

Check them for any obvious signs of injury

Check them for medical jewelry

Remember

Time is of the essence! Be decisive and confident. 

Don’t be afraid to call for help and assign people tasks

You can only perform CPR on a flat service. If a person needs CPR and is on a bed or in a chair, move them to the floor immediately. Don’t worry about hurting their head or anything, if they don’t get CPR immediately, their life expectancy is significantly less. (See my CPR post for full details)

Do not move the person unless the area they’re in is unsafe. If you have to move the person, drag them by their clothes and pull them to safety.

Adult Choking

There are both mild and severe cases of adult choking. In a mild case, the person choking will be able to make a sound or cough loudly. Typically these cases resolve themselves. 

Ask: “Are you choking? Can I help you?”

If the person cannot make a sound or cough in response, they are suffering from severe choking.

Walk around back of the person and put your arms around them

Make a fist with your dominant hand

Place your fist slightly above the belly button and below the chest bone.

Grasp the fist with your other hand

Give quick upward thrusts

If the person is overweight or pregnant, put your arms around the person’s armpits.

If you are unsuccessful in removing the blockage, the person will quickly become unresponsive. You will need to perform adult CPR and call 911.

After chest compressions (see above link) check person’s mouth to see if the thing they choked on is visible. If it is visible, remove it. Never going digging around in someone’s mouth. 

Amputation

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Get a First Aid kit

Both these steps can be delegated to someone else if they’re around

Put gauze on the wound and apply pressure until the bleeding stops

Do not remove the gauze if it’s bled through- this will remove any blood clots that have formed. 

If the gauze is bled through, add more gauze on top and keep applying pressure until the bleeding stops

Clean the amputated part with water

Warp the amputated part with dressing 

Put the amputated part in a small plastic bag

Get a larger plastic bag and fill it with equal parts ice and water

Put the small plastic bag inside the large plastic bag

Label the bag with person’s name and time of the injury

Asthma (How to Operate an Inhaler)

People diagnosed with asthma will typically be aware of it and may have an inhaler on them. If someone has an asthma attack:

Ask them: “Are you okay? Do you need your inhaler?” 

The person will probably be able to give some sort of indication in response

If they need their inhaler: 

Locate the inhaler

Put the medicine (metallic capsule pictured below) in the inhaler if it is not already in there, it will click into place

Shake the inhaler to activate the medicine

Attach the mouth piece if it’s unattached (not all inhalers have one, it is not pictured below)

Remove the cap (cap is darker blue piece pictured below)

Have the person put their head back

Put the inhaler in the person’s mouth

Push down on the canister and have them breathe out slowly

They should begin to feel relief immediately, but you should still have them sit down and take it easy for a while

Call 911 if they are still having difficulty breathing after the inhaler has been administered

Bee Sting

Usually bee stings present only mild irritation and pain. If the person stung has a severe allergic reaction, you will need to call 911.

Get a first aid kit

Scrape away the bee stinger and venom sack using a credit card or something similar in nature

Wash the affected area with lots of soap and running water

Wrap a bag of ice in a towel and place it over the affected area for 20 minutes or until the pain is gone

Watch the person for up to 30 minutes for signs of an allergic reaction

Call 911 if they present any classic allergy symptoms

Bleeding from Nose

Have the person lean their head forward

Get a First Aid kit

Or have someone else get one

Have the bleeding person apply pressure to the bridge of their nose using gauze from the First Aid kit

Do not remove the gauze if it’s bled through- this will remove any blood clots that have formed. 

If the gauze is bled through, add more gauze on top until the bleeding stops

Call 911 if the bleeding lasts longer than 15 minutes

Heat Cramps/Dehydration

Can lead to heat exhaustion! These typically happen when someone is dehydrated and tries to do lots of physical activity.

Have the person sit down and cool off

Have them drink something with sugar and electrolytes

Water will work in a pinch but sugary drinks and gatorade are preferred

Heat Exhaustion

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Have the person lie down

Cool the person by pouring water on them or wetting them with wet cloths until they begin to act normally

Have them drink something with sugar and electrolytes

Water will work in a pinch but sugary drinks and gatorade are preferred

Wait with them until help arrives

Opioid Overdose

My instructor said that these will often happen in an unsafe or an isolated environment. Always check to make sure that the scene is safe- look out for needles. 

Naloxone is used to revive people who have overdosed on opioids. If you find someone who has overdosed on opioids you happen to have naloxone on you and know how to administer it, the American Heart Association recommends that you use it instead of waiting for help to arrive.

Responsive:

Yell for help

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Wait with the person until help arrives

Unresponsive

Yell for help

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Perform five cycles of adult CPR

Wait for help

Seizure

Seizures are abnormal electrical activity in the brain. Typical seizure symptoms: spasms, muscle rigidity, and unconsciousness. Seizures typically last between 60-90 seconds before the person gains consciousness. 

Do NOT touch the person who is having a seizure

Do NOT put anything in their mouth

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

If there are people around, ask them to get a First Aid kit while you wait with the person having the seizure

Don’t leave the person having a seizure if you are alone

Move objects away from the person having the seizure so that they don’t knock into them

If possible, place a small towel/pad underneath the person’s head

If the person starts vomiting, turn them over on their side so that they don’t choke

If possible use gloves and an eye mask from a First Aid kit to avoid exposure to bodily fluids

After they come to, they may be bleeding from the mouth. 

Use gauze from a First Aid kit to stop the bleeding

Have them apply pressure with the gauze until the bleeding stops

Stay with the person until help arrives

Splints

Splints should be significantly longer than the injured area. They’re used to constrict movement, so the person is injured should not be able to move freely once the splint is applied. Splints are use to treat broken/dislocated bones. It’s very difficult to tell if a bone is actually broken or just dislocated, so don’t worry about it and just splint the thing.

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Get a First Aid kit

Both these steps can be delegated to someone else if they’re around

Put on gloves/eye glasses from the First Aid kit to avoid contamination from bodily fluids

Cover exposed wound area with gauze

Do not remove the gauze if it’s bled through- this will remove any blood clots that have formed. 

If the gauze is bled through, add more gauze on top until the bleeding stops.

Place a strip of rigid material underneath the injured area

Use gauze/dressing from the First Aid kit to secure the splint by wrapping material above and below the injured area

Never tie material directly over the injury

Have the person stay as still as possible until help arrives

Stroke

Strokes are caused from blockage/bleeding from things like blood clots. Typical signs of a stroke: face drooping (or numbness), arm weakness (or numbness), and speech difficulty. There is nothing much you can do except wait with the person and try to make them comfortable until help arrives.

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Note the time that the stroke symptoms began (this will help hospital technicians)

Stay with the person until help arrives

Tourniquets

Some First Aid kits will come with a pre-made tourniquet. If your kit does not have a tourniquet you can make one fairly easily. Tourniquets should only be used for injuries where the person is squirting blood. No squirting blood? Use a splint.

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Get a First Aid kit

Both these steps can be delegated to someone else if they’re around

Put on gloves/eye glasses from the First Aid kit to avoid contamination from bodily fluids

Fold cloth or a bandage so that it’s long and an inch wide

Wrap the the bandage/cloth two inches above the wound

Never apply a tourniquet bandage/cloth on a joint (like elbows or knees). 

Find a small stick

Place the small stick atop the cloth/bandage and tie it there

You can now turn the small stick to tighten the cloth/bandage

Have the injured person lay down and try to move as little as possible

Do not remove the tourniquet- even if the bleeding stops.

Wait until help arrives.

Come my child…

LIE. LIE. LIE. (By lie, I mean embellish) I’m going to tell you why. I lied on my resume to get the job that made it so I didn’t have to embellish anymore. By embellish I mean make your positions seem more important than they are. Chances are you’re not getting paid enough for what you do anyhow. The system is definitely going to play you so you gotta make a move too. 

Use businesses that are no longer in business (Finesse #1) Everyone has those establishments in their cities that went out of business; Fridays, hospitals, dennys, etc. USE THEM. I’m a HR Manager, I’m not going to dig for a reference from a closed business. Not in this lifetime.

Use your friends who are employed in corporate America as references. (Finesse #2) List them as former supervisors or managers. Pick your friends with professional phone voices who can gas you up in a corporate manner.

Research the pay rate for the company, city and position. (Finesse #3) They may be offering you 25K to be a store manager when in reality store managers in your exact city (or their employment averages) are making 35K. Do not be afraid to challenge a salary. It shows that you also did your homework on the position and the company. 

Cashier? Customer Service Manager

Human Resources Assistant? HR Generalist II 

Food Service Worker? Hospitality and Beverage Manager/Operator

Janitor? Sanitation Inspector

Dishwasher? Health and Sanitation operator

Shopback? Retail Inventory Manager

And to speak to @aura218, being caught in a slight lie happened to me, and I wasn’t fired. My employer was disappointed for about .05 seconds and I just laid on the charm thick and it doesn’t even matter now.

And if you do lie to your employer about competency and get hired, make the lie go away by excelling in what you said you could already do! Read a book, browse the web, get some hands on experience.

Okay, so this post will be about budgeting on minimum wage, and later in the day I will also post about paper organization. Enjoy!

Budgeting on Minimum Wage

Overview

The average minimum wage in the US is $7.25/hr. Even working full time at 40 hours a week, that’s only a profit of $290 before taxes. This is not a fair living wage! You are worth way more than this amount! I strongly encourage you to start looking for another job that pays better, look for something around the $10-$15 range. 

While $7.25 is atrocious, thousands of people around the world support families on much less. If they can do it while supporting children, so can you! To live off a minimum wage budget you need to declare yourself independent. If your parents are still claiming you as a dependent YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO THIS. I also recommend that you have the highest amount possible taken out of your taxes so that you get money back from your state at the end of the year, instead of being in debt to them.

What I’ve done is come up with a budgeting plan based off some made up factors and my own personal experience.

Housing

1. City life. Forget about the city! Apartments located in cities can be three times as expensive as apartments in small towns or villages. On top of the extra expense, they’re much smaller and have less amenities included. I’d much rather live in a one bedroom apartment with a dishwasher and a conveniently located Laundromat, than a literal closet with no windows on a fifth floor walkup. Look for apartments twenty minutes to a half hour outside of your closest city. Now you have the close conveniences of a city, with none of those pesky city prices that your budget can’t handle.

2. College towns. Shop around and look at apartments by local colleges. Large colleges with have apartment complexes within walking distance of the school grounds. Landlords know that college students have less money (you might even be a college student yourself) and adjust their prices accordingly. Even apartments next to ivy league schools are priced this way, so don’t be discouraged by the institution’s “prestige”.

3. Locale. Your safety is more important than your bank account. It doesn’t matter if you live in Section 8 housing or in an affluent suburb. Some apartment complexes and neighborhoods are just safer than others. I live in a heavily populated and upper middle class suburb, and the first year I moved in, a drunk woman tried to throw a beer bottle at my car. Thankfully this is the only time this happened to me, but it made me feel unsafe in my environment. Before signing a lease, walk or drive around your prospective home’s neighborhood at night. Take in the atmosphere, and make sure it’s one where you could comfortably run to the local supermarket at 10:30pm and pick up toilet paper.

4. Roommates. Living on minimum wage requires that you find one or two roommates to help split the rent. The more the better! Get together with your more responsible friends, so at least you’re living with people whose company you enjoy. There are lots of “roommate wanted” forums and message boards for you to browse on the internet, but always bring a responsible adult with you before meeting a stranger. Please. Bring your mom if you have too.

Food

1. Low-spoon food. I created this post a few months ago which offers lots of suggestions about cooking and shopping on a budget.

2. Online recipes. Here are some of my favorite online Tumblr cookbook resources. 

- College Student Cookbook. Click here. 

- Meals On The Go. Click here. (Not a cookbook, but super helpful)

- Broke College Kid Masterpost. Click here.

- Cooking on A Bootstrap. Click here.

- Good and Cheap. Click here.

- Budget Bytes. Click here.

3. I also regularly update my cooking on a budget tag. 

Misc Expenses

1. Gas. Shop around and find the cheapest gas in your area. Avoid gas stations next to colleges, highways, and in touristy areas. Look into getting as gas rewards card from your favorite supermarket. I get 10 cents off a gallon with Stop & Shop every time I do a big shop. 

2. Dollar store. Get to know your local dollar and bargain stores. You can buy everything from pots and pans to bed sheets there. These stores often sell bulk ramen for $1 and large cans of crushed tomatoes for 75 cents. That’s enough food for you to live off of for several days. When shopping, I make three grocery store stops to ensure that I spend the least amount possible on my pantry needs. I go Dollar Store, Stop and Shop, and then to my local organic grocery store. I’m going to make a list of things that I buy at Dollar Stores and things that I don’t buy at Dollar Stores soon!

3. Cable. We are living in the digital age- you don’t need cable television. Use Netflix or Hulu or whatever. It will save you tons of $$. 

4. Internet. As far as internet speed goes, if you’re living with roommates you will probably need a higher speed. Living by yourself, choose a lower one. Most internet companies offer large discounts to new subscribers. These typically only last a year, but will save you serious money. Make sure to take note of when this discount expires, and contact the company before it does. If you don’t, they’ll begin charging you the full amount without notice.

5. Verizon. I just want to take a moment to talk about how much I love Verizon because they have literally saved me so much money in the three years I’ve been with them. After you sign a contract with a new internet company, they charge you a bunch of ridiculous fees like “activation fees” and “installation fees”. I called Verizon and was like “I’m a poor college student, I can’t afford this” and they were like “don’t worry, we’ll waive the fee”. I signed a two year contract with them that saved me $80 on a high-speed internet bill per month (my price being only 50.99 a month). After the contract expired I call them and they put me on a month to month, keeping the price absolutely the same. TLDR- get Verizon if you can.

6. Utility. Get on a monthly budget with whatever utility company services your new apartment. Although it may seem like the cheaper option, paying the actual amount of electricity you spend per month is the more expensive. It’s also unpredictable, and a minimum wage budget won’t allow for it. See this for more info.

7. Amazon. I buy a lot of my beauty, cleaning, and cat products online. Amazon offers Prime shipping free for a year with a student email address, and then offers it at a greatly reduced price after the year. If you are a student, snap up that free deal ASAP. If it’s in your budget, I’d greatly recommend investing in Amazon Prime.

8. Saving money. It’s so important to attempt to break way from the “paycheck to paycheck” vicious cycle. Living this way does not allow for emergency expense money, and trust me, sometime soon you will need emergency expense money. Your cat might get sick or your car may die, whatever it is, it’s always smart to have at least $500 squirreled away. I’m gonna level with you, things have been tight for my budget and I haven’t been able to save anything for the past three months. But this month I will!

Example Budgets

Full Time

Working with the $7.25/hr and 40hr/week model, here’s an example budget for living on minimum wage. That’s $1,160 a month without taxes.

Housing: Let’s say you’re sharing an apartment with two close friends, the rent being $1,500 without any amenities. That rent split three ways is $500 each.

Gas I commute twenty minutes every day, and I drop about $20-$25 a week on gas. That’s $100 on gas a month.

Food: I do one big shopping a month with my boyfriend. We drop around $180 and that’s including toiletries and soap and stuff. So maybe you’ll spend about $100 a month on all your shopping needs.

Cable/internet:  Hopefully you took my advice and skipped cable. Let’s say you’re paying around $50 per month for internet. Split three ways that’s $17 each.

Laundry: Hopefully you’re not like me and are only spending around $20 on laundry per month.

Random expenses: Because there always are some. Let’s just tack on another $100.

With everything added up, you still have around $290 left before taxes! That money can go into a savings account, and after several months, you’ll have that $500 worth of emergency money saved.

Part Time

Working with the $7.25/hr and 25hr/week model, here’s an example budget for living on minimum wage. That’s $725 without taxes.

Housing: In this case, you need to look for apartments in the $800-900 range. In my area, one bedroom apartments go for around $1000, so you may need to get creative with your roommate (I don’t think you could have more than one roommate in this situation). Buy dividers to split the bedroom or studio in half! Let’s say your rent is $850 with nothing included, that’s $425 each.

Gas You’re still looking at a large gas bill per month, so it may be more inexpensive to ride a bike or use public transportation. Let’s say you use public transportation, and spend around $50 a month on that. Or maybe you and your roommate can split gas expenses and share a car?

Food: Pinch those pennies! Use some of those budget cookbooks I linked above to help you cook healthy and delicious meals for under $4 each. See if you can only spend $80 a month on groceries.

Cable/internet:  Hopefully you took my advice and skipped cable. Let’s say you’re paying around $50 per month for internet. Split two ways is $25 each.

Laundry: Hopefully you’re not like me and are only spending around $20 on laundry per month.

Random expenses: Because there always are some. Let’s just tack on another $100.

Things they would like

Food they would eat

Clothes they would wear

Places they like to go

Places they dream of going

Elements of their culture

Elements of their religion (if they have one)

Where they live

Color palettes that fit them

Their aesthetic

Quotes that relate to them

It’s too late, and her plan didn’t work. His daughter had tried to trade her life for his, but the Beast was ornery and cruel and sent her away, pulling her from the dungeon with one rough, clawed paw and sending her back into the night. The last thing she hears as a monstrous carriage walks away with her is Maurice’s anguished cry.

“She will not find her way back again,” growled the monster, just outside Maurice’s cell. “The magic will make sure of that. No one will return for you.”

The Beast leaves him. Maurice cries, and coughs, and curls up on the tower floor, and prepares himself to die. Dying is not such a bitter thing. He did it once, before, when Belle’s mother died; he will do it again, now, so that his daughter may live. How good it was he got to see his child one last time. The cold creeping at his bones was not so bad, now; he just had to embrace it, let the cold get worse and worse until—

He felt warmer already. Wait, that wasn’t right. He should be getting colder. He should be dying, not feeling warmth radiating beside him. Why, the cell even seemed less dim.

“Cheer up, mon ami,” said a voice far too big and much too close. Why, it sounded like there was a full-sized man right beside him. Which was obviously—

Maurice remembered the cup, and turned all too quickly toward the candelabra.

“I cannot imagine what Mrs. Potts’ son said to alarm you,” the candelabra was saying conversationally, “but there is no need to run now! You are among friends, monsieur.  Please, let me fetch you a coat!”

Maurice considered whether jumping out of the tower made more sense than staying in a castle with possessed objects. Obviously, the tower jump would result in broken bones and certain death, but on the other hand, there was an ornate candelabra with an expressionless metal face speaking to him about coats.

“Though perhaps I should not fetch it for you myself,” said the object, “seeing as I might set it on fire in the process.”

“Mmhmmm,” said Maurice. Tower jump it was, then.

“Or of course we could skip the coat entirely and simply take you to your room,” finished the candelabra. The cell door opened and Maurice found himself free.

Well, free to be taken to his room, that was. Free to meet a talking wardrobe and a talking clock and a talking harpsichord and learn all their names. Free to eat good food, and be coddled in front of a warm fire, and supplied with paints and brushes and tools and anything else he asked for. But never free to leave the palace, or see his daughter, or curl away and die of damp.

It was many days before he saw the Beast.

“I thought I left you in a cell,” growled the creature, just behind his shoulder, and Maurice jumped and almost dropped the sketch he was currently working on. He was standing in one of the dusty ballrooms, studying the paintings there, a notebook curled in his hand, and he had been so buried in sketching he hadn’t hear the paws or claws or felt the breath of the monster.

Maurice found it hard to gather words.

“It—this painting is marvelous,” he babbled, and gestured up toward a ruined canvas, claw marks torn across the portrait’s face. “Truly a pity it w-w-was so destroyed.”

“I destroyed it,” growled the beast.

“Marvelous destroying, truly adds to the aura of the piece,” Maurice stuttered back. Oh, no, the monster was showing his teeth, his lips were curling back and Maurice could see the fangs. He was sure to be eaten, nobody could help but read those barred teeth as if they were anything other than a—than a—than really truly a—

Than a smile?

“You capture her,” said the Monster, and he was looking down at Maurice’s notebook instead of at the painting.

The old man had been wandering through the palace for several days now, and while many of the portraits had been torn beyond recognition, he found himself circling back to this one. It showed three figures—a man, a boy, and a lady; while the first two’s faces had been shredded in two, the lady stayed serene, her face whole and painted and smiling. It was a tender portrait—not as good as Maurice thought he himself could do, if given the same subject in the flesh, but one clearly made to depict caring and sweetness. He had used the same kind of strokes when trying to capture Belle’s mother, the first day he saw her.

“She is more than beautiful,” said Maurice. “She is loving. You can see it in how soft they painted her eyes—this artist was trying to show her as she is, not just how she looks.”

“She was loving,” murmurs the Monster. “You do her more justice in your sketch than this artist did in his entire life.”

“There are more paintings of her?” Maurice finds excitement winning out, only slightly, over terror. He has not been eaten yet. And the Monster—the Monster, he can’t help noting with a prickle of pride, admired Maurice’s sketch.

They spend the whole day going through the paintings. Every one, Maurice notices, has been destroyed beyond the lady’s face; if there are other figures—and there are, often, particularly with a man who never escapes a total shredding from the claws—they are scraped to pieces. But the lady remains serene.

And as they go through each one, Maurice sketching here and there, the Monster lulls, and watches the artist’s clever hands as he recaptures the sketch. The Beast, Maurice is surprised to find, grows interested in the art.

“Why do you use only short strokes there?” “Her face was longer than that—no, I can’t hold the pen well, take it back, I just mean to point out—add more there. No, there.” “How do you draw hands like that?” “Don’t shade so much.”

The creature’s questions and opinions are endless, but Maurice has never known what it is to be annoyed. After the pity of the village, the Beast’s embrace of his work is refreshing, surprising. He forgets he is with a monster. He forgets, for a while, what it is like to be labeled insane, bumbling, crackpot, fool.

They have dinner together that day. The same for the next. The Beast shows Maurice the art history books in the library, and seems surprised when Maurice beams at him and says thank you. The day after Maurice sets up an easel and says here, you try, and the Beast is clumsy at first and angry at his paws, but the old artist has been talking to Plumette, and he knows the creature once handled makeup-brushes soft as roses.

“Sometimes we forget what we once knew how to love,” says Maurice. “But you can always recapture what you once had. That is what painting is for.” And he angles the brush differently in the large hands.

It was cold out, many days after, and the Beast made sure Maurice wore good coats and good scarves. They took their walks, and held their notebooks, and when they were done with that they would return inside and Maurice would teach, or talk, or tinker, and the Beast would curl up and watch him, or help him, getting better each day at knowing what tool to bring to the artist’s hand, what gear went where or how to mimic his stroke. Maurice shows him how drawing can be a way to get rid of anger, of how it can calm during sadness. They spend each day together, and with the Beast’s care Maurice grows well, and with Maurice’s care the Beast grows whole. One day, Maurice hugs the Beast, for no reason at all.

“Do you miss your daughter, still?” mutters the Beast, and there is jealousy there, but also wistfulness, remorse.

“Love for her lives on,” says Maurice. “I will love her forever, as I will love my wife.”

The Beast turns away. Once, he would have snarled and vanished deep into the castle; but now he simply grows quiet, and his hands grasp an imaginary pen and he draws nothing against nothing, though in his mind it is a sketch of his mother, the way Maurice would draw her.

“But I love other things now too,” says Maurice, so suddenly at his shoulder the Beast jumps. “I stand still, usually. I stood still in the village, I stood still in Paris. The only times I’ve run in my life were when I fled the plague with my daughter and when I fled to this palace of yours.”

The Beast and Maurice are standing on the western balcony as he says this. The air is cold but Maurice is bundled up in coats the monster picked. Just inside are piles of drawings, toys the two made together, books they started reading. A home the Beast has longed for for years.

“But with you, I’ve stopped standing still,” says Maurice. “Life is new. Look at us, we’ve lived each day as new. We pay honor to the past, but we are not imprisoned by it. You have changed me for the better, Beast.”

The Beast cannot believe he could have helped this man. He cannot believe this artist he loves so much could see him as a future, as a hope, not just as a creature of regret.

“You are my son, Adam,” says Maurice. “I love you as my son.”

The chime of music is so sudden it takes Maurice a moment to get off the ground. The sun is dazzling. The cries of the servants within are shocking. And the young man in front of him, crying as if his heart would break, surprises Maurice so that he forgets to be stunned and simply pulls him into a hug.

“It’s strange, son,” murmurs Maurice, holding the boy’s shoulder while he weeps. “The last time I hugged you I think you were a good deal larger than this. A bit more hair.”