Pepperoni Slices

next time someone calls J. K. Rowling homophobic I'm gonna burst out laughing

I refuse to date guys UNLESS it makes me gay and then I'm all in

I just- why? Why does being called she / her / girl / ma'am / etc feel so weird to me. I just don't like it. How the flip am I supposed to get over this?? I can't ask the people closest to me to call me something different, but I don't want to go on feeling weird every time someone addresses me.

I need a pronoun pin that says “You will address me as Captain or Sir, is that clear?”

I'm drinking a Topo Chico out of a glass bottle, like one of the ones that's the same shape as a beer bottle, and I'm wearing a baseball cap... I feel like the son of a county boy

Sharing a name with the simultaneously most hated and most babygirl-ified character in Our Flag Means Death is... very fascinating, ngl

I desperately want to call someone baby girl, but like platonically.