I donât know how to do any sort of fancy formatting might come change this later
Call me static/vinny/jax
They/them pronouns
Alterhuman (therian otherkin fictionkin copinglink) [psychological not spiritual]
Pagan
Aroace
I donât have a therapist yet or anyone I trust to vent to so Iâm going to yell into the void about random ass shit here especially private stuff so uh yk whatever
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I hate all the fucking critical tadc videos im so tired i just want it all to shut up I would make my own video but i cant even organize my thoughts and none of my ideas are unique it would be useless im just so tired i know Jax isnt a good person but i still enjoyed the episode even if i wish we got more time even if i wish pomni didnt let him walk away so easy
I donât think people like him irl deserve death
I relate to him
Sure yeah he did abuse gangle and ragatha but relationships are complicated and people change
Trauma isnât an excuse but itâs not really his fault
And their irl counterpart is doing better and a better person doesnât that mean ANYTHING?
Not really a vent or nsfw but I donât really understand certain closed neopronouns especially basic ones like mutt/muttself and fae/faer
Like I understand âmuttâ may have had negative connotations about race but itâs been used for all sorts of metaphors for â outsidersâ and stuff I just feel like itâs hard to claim a word that definitively has non culture specific uses ..
And multiple cultures have had fairies and fae in them for a long time so itâs also hard to claim that especially since itâs not anything used on the people themselves and itâs not a taboo word like certain creatures with Native American/american Indian folklore origins that have been taken by the internet and changed beyond recognition.
I understand why slur based ones and taboo word based ones are closed but.. fae/faer? Really? I mean hardly anyone is genuinely raised in old Celtic Druid culture anymore, I met one person with such ethnic background and they said something I really agree with, If we prevent everyone ever from even respectfully engaging in old cultures languages and practices then weâre just sealing their fate of becoming obsolete and no one wants or benefits from that.
Iâm Jayce I know that but my cat is Viktor oh god
Heâs had health issues his whole life heâs got a chronic cold that flares up bc like viruses never go away yk they linger or maybe itâs allergies but anyway he has that and kidney issues and golden eyes and itâs not the same but it is and heâs got fur that looks like Viktors haircut and heâs going to die and Iâll never make it without him Iâm Jayce and Iâve got nothing to do but hold his body as it grows cold and die and Iâve thought about it so many times oh god something is wrong with me I mean Iâd never do anything to him Iâd never I donât want that but I think thereâs something wrong with me I donât understand romance I donât understand attraction but I love Viktor and my cat is Viktor or has a peice of him in it and I donât know how much i believe this and how much Iâm just saying shit itâs too late I need to sleep and eat and Iâm so fucking tired I spent too long reading and saving fics Iâm so tired I hate myself I hate breathing heâs gonna die some day and everything is wrong and I canât tell how much of this Iâm just making worse on purpose and whatâs actually a problem and I know I just need to sleep but fucking hell I hate being alone with my brain I feel like Iâve been left on a cliffhanger except Iâm the story and I feel sick and Iâll never recover
How the fuck are you supposed to tell someone youâve known for two years you want them to yank you by a harness and shove you against a wall or floor or bed how are you supposed to do that
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Iâm tired of the refillable ones I want a pretty one that I can sharpen but thatâs still dermasafe
Like whyâs that so hard to ask for
Canât ask anyone bc everyone will just be concerned but idk man and google isnât any use maybe it doesnât exist how does one even research that âknives good at cutting fresh raw skin that are also pretty and derma safe and cleanable and sharpen-ableâ
Or they could at least make the bases that hold the refillable blades prettier :/
Whatever Iâm just frustrated I canât ask anyone
a few days ago i promised to write a post about the misceverse and how it applies to myself/my identity. so, here it is!
[as a disclaimer, im still very much aroace so rest assured this post will be completely sfw. however, im aware that some people can be uncomfortable with this stuff so ill be putting the post under a read more]
so, omegaverse. a few of you may remember my post/essay on how i view gender through draconic lenses, and how my species classifies ourselves not with sex but with how we contribute to society, our Role. well, last week i saw some of my mutuals (shout-out to @/were-bastard and @/professional-jaywalker, the birds ever /pos) reblog stuff about something called the misceverse, which was inspired by omegaverse fanfic tropes, and... well. it piqued my interest. i had read a few of these stories myself when i was younger, so i knew more or less about what it was all about, but i didnt know there was an entire community centered around it!
what struck me the most about these communities was the normalization and celebration of animalistic behaviours, specifically as they relate to relationships, something that, as a nonhuman, is obviously very appealing to me. i struggle a lot to express affection in the expected/"human" way, as my instincts tell me to act more like the creature i am. things like nesting, scenting, giving gifts or having a special language of animal noises to communicate with your loved ones are things i do naturally, and that i fight to suppress every day. upon seeing all this in the misce community, plus the classifications that match so perfectly with my dragon Roles, i was sold.
so, what even is misceanimalis?
also called miscecanis, its a community centered around the omegaverse, that is, a universe where people have secondary sexes as well as the normal ones: alpha, beta or omega. (they were inspired by that one study on wolf behaviour and pack dynamics, which i find really funny bc its considered incredibly inaccurate nowadays). people on this verse exhibit animal behaviours like nesting, forming packs, making animal noises or "subvocals", and, of course, experiencing mating cycles (i will not get into that last part, but basically omegas have heats and can get pregnant while alphas have ruts and can get people pregnant; betas are usually the "normal" ones, but this may vary between verses). also! a very important thing in omegaverse is scenting. everyone has a unique scent, so people can identify your dynamic right away; its used as a way to mark your territory and your mate and to express emotions.
about me!
dynamic: i am bidynamic; both an omega and a beta, also called a gamma or oeta.
for me, this means that im socially neutral (but leaning submissive), i exhibit protective and nurturing behaviours like an omega, and give a calming effect to people like a beta. my presentation though is fully omega: i am very timid, uncertain and introverted, though if im feeling confident enough i can come off as more casual/laid-back.
scent: my scent is vanilla, very sweet as is typical of omegas (funnily, i found that this scent is almost unbearable for most people, but i adore it).
i use vanilla body lotion and perfume for myself, and a soft vanilla air freshener for my den.
behaviours: i am miscedraconis and misceavian, which means my behaviours are based on both dragons and birds (nesting, gift-giving, mating dances, all that stuff). my subvocals are both avian and draconic: purring, chirping, etc. i also experience heats but they are very mild, and are less frequent than for monodynamic omegas.
anyway, i think thats enough for today! wow i rambled a lot, didnt i? i hope you enjoyed reading this, and maybe even fell for my propaganda i mean, considered a misceanimalis identity for yourself! i found that the community is very nice and open-minded, and i think more alterhumans could benefit from joining it!
Finding the misceanimalis/miscecanis community genuinely settled some things in me. My misce stuff is largely sfw. Knowing there's a community where i can explain some of my behaviours and not get weird looks is a huge relief tbh, there is language for it and i am happy about that.
My misce identity, as an omega, is as important to me as my nonhumanity is. Nesting, finding my scent, even marking in a sense, it all has a spot where it fits.
My nesting includes pillows and so many blankets, they need to be soft, or have enough solidity to help shape the nest.
I have the scent of pomegranate, though i'm thinking raspberry may be included. Because it just fits, i love the scent.
I'm happy that this community exists and I want to see it grow so there are more of us to talk to.
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The horror of having a. visual imagination and reading a fic about your kin cutting themselves and nearly bleeding to death in a bathroom and having that image in your head