Boldly Go

FUCK HARD

FUCK FAST

FUCK BADLY

NEVER USE GENERATIVE AI

CREATE JOY

MUSIC ALWAYS

PSPSPSPS AT KITTIES ON THE STREET

YUMMY SOUP

go see the doctor about that thing

BE TRANSGENDER

KISS YOUR FRIENDS

EAT CHEESE

NEVER KILL YOURSELF

(Frodo is the only one I would say doesn't have a job, in that he has very limited responsibilities in the Shire. He would have been one of Merry's adjuncts if his parents had lived. As Bilbo's heir*, he's basically a Gentleman Scholar.)

(Merry and Sam end up with similar ranks, in terms of responsibility, even though Sam is elected. Both of them are subject to Pippin, which is of course hilarious. After Aragorn makes it illegal for Men, including himself, to enter the Shire, there is no indication that this changes, even when an additional Hobbit community is founded by Elanor and Fastred.)