lucifer ex machina

Now obviously John Mulaney has had a profound affect on all our lives, but without a doubt to me one of the most impactful things he has ever said was: “Whatever. This might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.” That has become one of my guiding life philosophies.

Look if there’s a day when my internal monologue dosnt add “and I said no, you know like a liar” whenever I lie about something, usually how I feel about something then I’ll be six foot under in a pine box.

Edward: *sticking Bella’s menstrual cup in the freezer* yummy, popsicles :)

one day you will have to answer to a god who will not be as merciful as us

social media popularity and influencer culture is gross but also.. i wanna make money for doing absolutely nothing too

It’s a TON of work. It’s not doing nothing???? It’s taking pictures at the ass crack of dawn to make a hotel stay “look like a vacation” it’s eating cold food because it took forever to get that right lighting. It’s editing photos and videos for hours because shit has to look professional af. We’re business people, photographers, marketing experts, and have to look good doing it so fuck off w this “influencers do nothing” shit. 🙄

im sorry that its so stressful that you have the privilege to go to a hotel:/

every time supernatural references fortnite i think of that screencap with steve buscemi going ‘what’s up fellow kids’

Every time they do WHAT