Whatever happens to me, I know it's for the better

I think the problem with the modern society is nobody wears their heraldry anymore how is my unable-to-remember-faces autistic ass meant to recognize you???? meanwhile I'll see argent two bars gules a lion rampant sable armed or and go oh hi john how's it going

*genuinely absorbed zero information* got it

there seems to be a fundamental disagreement between microwave oven manufacturers and the producers of microwave meals over whether the customer should know the wattage of their microwave or if such details should be abstracted away from them

the microwave rice demands 800 watts of power for 2 minutes, but all the microwave can offer me three settings: one low, one high, and one somewhere in the middle. I turn it to the one in the middle as I happen to know 800W is the average power of most microwaves. the light comes on and the bag of rice starts slowly turning, but rather than hearing the usual rumble of the microwave, I instead start hearing short snippets of conversation - words snatched from the ether. the lights flicker and a chill runs up my spine. the voices remind me of those "spirit boxes" ghost hunters use. I double check the setting on the microwave. "ah," I say, remembering that I had set it to medium,

*at a family gathering* you’re all like coworkers to me

some of you seem to be under the unfortunate impression that i enjoy finishing things. i enjoy making things

creative droughts are so embarrassing yeah sorry man I forgot my shapes and colors

half the time im like oh harrow and gideon are gonna be so tragic and will probs never make confessions of love to each other but then in GtN gideon hears magnus doing the 'cavalier primarried' joke and shes like yeah i wanna steal that and then i kinda have to get way too hopeful. this series is literally chekhov's gun central. why would gideon want to steal that joke if she wasnt gonna confess her undying love for harrow

full of hate and malice...you know how it is with me...

*favorite character comes on screen* *traces a heart around them with my cursor*