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Vic looked up at the stars. “Home. The forest. Out here, I feel… small. Like I could get lost and no one would ever know.”
“Pish posh,” the Coachman said. “Your friends would know. And I doubt they’d allow it, not even for a moment. Perhaps you’ll be lost at some point, but they will find you.”
“That,” Vic said, voice barely carrying above the wind. “That’s at least a part of my happiness, I think. Knowing I’d be found.”
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Part Three of Not-So-Secret Secret Admirer!!! Part One. Part Two. AO3 Link.
Eddie doesn’t know what to get Steve next. Well, he knows what he wants to give Steve, but he’s pretty sure a mixtape would be a dead giveaway. But it’s four days after the second gift, and he needs one for tomorrow.
He groans and flops down on his bed. What’s vague enough that doesn’t scream Eddie Munson is your fake secret admirer? He could get cupcakes or something, but that’s kind of dumb and not personal enough. Plus, he wants to see Steve get flustered again. It feels nice to know that he can do that to Steve Harrington.
Because it’s Steve, and he doesn’t seem easily wooed, as he’s always the one doing the wooing. Eddie is glad to be giving Steve a break for once because he’s a great friend. A great friend who happens to get butterflies when he sees his other friend get giddy from his anonymous gifts.
Eddie flails his arm out to grab his pillow and scream into it – instead, he hits his bedside table and hears a large clattering noise. The universe is against him tonight.
Eddie groans and rolls to the side of his mattress to check if anything important fell besides his deodorant. He sees a few abandoned hair ties and an empty soda can but nothing of value. Until he’s slightly blinded by a gleam of silver.
He reaches out and grabs the small object, fingers wrapping around the cool metal. It’s the ring he keeps on his nightstand, far too large for any of his fingers but also with a simple design carved into the metal that is almost too pretty for Eddie to be putting it on a chain to wear around his neck.
It’s not anything too sentimental besides the fact that Eddie has had it for years now after spotting it at some yard sale and immediately swiping it – blame his father for teaching him that trick. He stares at it for the first time in a long time fully taking it in. He has the absurd thought that it would look pretty on Steve.
It would look pretty on Steve. He’s scared he’d hate it and wear it only when Eddie is around to see it. But if it’s from his secret admirer, Eddie doesn’t have to worry about Steve’s politeness. He laughs and clutches the ring to his chest thinking of a cheesy note to write Steve as he drifts off.
-:-:-:-:-:-
He parks in the parking lot, ring in a small cardboard box with a horribly wrapped bow on top trapping a note underneath it. Every five days is a nice schedule, but maybe he should add some variation in it. But there’s no way that Steve is going to guess today is the day after only two gifts.
At least, that’s what he thinks until Eddie sets the box on the top of Steve’s tire and hears someone yell, “Eddie! You’re Steve’s secret admirer?!” Dustin of all people pops out from behind the corner of the store.
“Dustin... this isn’t what you think...”
Dustin runs up to him and grabs him by the arm. “I’ve been waiting out here for days for some girl, and it’s just been you! Are you kidding me?” Eddie finds that Dustin is a lot stronger than he thinks as he drags him inside the store and yells, “Steve! I found your secret admirer!”
Steve and Robin whip their heads around. Robin’s eyes go wide, and Steve’s eyebrows pinch together. “Well, where is she?” Steve questions.
“Nu uh uh. Where is he?” Dustin corrects him excitedly pointing to Eddie.
Steve takes a moment to process it, but as soon as he opens his mouth, Eddie cuts him off. “I’m not his secret admirer! I’m just... the messenger! Okay? I caught them the first time, and I promised to deliver the rest so they wouldn’t get caught.” He holds his hands up, pretty proud of his ability to make shit up on the spot. But he’s also dug himself into a way deeper hole.
He glances towards Steve, trying his best not to look guilty or suspicious. Oddly enough, Steve seems a bit... disappointed by the news. Probably just because he was excited to solve the mystery of E.R. and no other reason. “So, you know them?” Steve questions.
“Better than you think,” Eddie says, and tries not to cringe as Robin signals at him to cut it out.
“Sworn to secrecy?”
“The secretest,” Eddie replies lamely but Steve doesn’t laugh for once, just smiles tightly.
“Are you kidding me?” Dustin says again. “You’re our friend first! Whoever this is can forget about whatever promise you made.”
“Why don’t we talk about this outside while grabbing Steve’s gift?” Eddie says already grabbing Dustin’s shoulder and pulling him out the door.
“Who is it? Who could possibly be so important that they-”
The door closes behind them, and Eddie finally starts talking, “It’s me, okay? But not like me.” Eddie sighs and runs a hand over his face.
“You have like two seconds to explain to me before I tell Steve,” Dustin says, full attitude in his tone.
“Steve couldn’t stop saying he was hopeless, so I came up with a plan to give him hope.”
Dustin narrows his eyes at him. “So, you made Steve an imaginary admirer to stop his whining.” Eddie cringes at that description, but... it’s true. “That’s perfect!”
Eddie shoots the kid a look. “It is?”
“Well, we don’t have to worry about a random person trying to butt into the group, and now we’re sure that Steve will be occupied until someone else comes along.”
Someone else. Yeah, that’s a good plan. All part of the plan. Speaking of that... Eddie grabs the small box off the top of Steve’s wheel and walks back into Family Video to find Steve staring at him. “What was that all about?”
“Had to convince Henderson that the admirer was worthy enough for his second favorite babysitter.”
“The first being?”
“Me of course. Right Dustin?” Eddie asks ruffling his hair.
Steve points at the kid. “Don’t answer that.”
Dustin holds his hands up and changes the subject, “I’m just here to see what’s in the box.”
With that, Eddie tosses it to Steve who catches it easily. He smiles down at the gift. “I don’t want to undo the bow it’s so cute.”
Robin gives him a look filled with confused disgust. “Just open the box.”
Steve reluctantly unties the bow and stares at the note. Dustin and Robin scoot closer to him and read along. Eddie joins them. You and me... that has a nice ring to it. Robin groans and Dustin laughs.
Okay, maybe it doesn’t make total sense, but it’s the best Eddie could come up with. It has the effect Eddie wanted – Steve's cheeks flush a wonderful shade of pink. He opens up the box on the counter and removes the ring carefully. He slowly spins it around to look at every detail.
Robin and Dustin look over at Eddie with wide eyes. “Looks like your secret admirer is proposing,” Robin breathes out.
“No I-” Eddie trails off as Steve looks up at him. “I... don’t think that was their intention. Besides, I doubt it fits his ring finger.”
Steve slides the ring over his ring finger. It fits perfectly. Steve smiles.
“Okay, I think it’s a little too soon for a marriage proposal,” Eddie says, sweating at the image of Steve wearing his ring for some reason.
“Not if he’s known the person for a long time,” Dustin supplies unhelpfully. Telling him was a bad idea.
Luckily, Steve seems too distracted by his gift to really process what the kid has said. Eddie takes the moment to shoot Dustin a warning look. He decides it’s better to take him out of the situation entirely. “So, Dustin, your duty is done, so let me give you a ride home.”
“To the arcade,” Dustin corrects.
“Fine, the arcade. Let's go,” Eddie says as he starts heading out the door.
“Wait!” Steve says, finally breaking out of his thoughts. Eddie turns around. “Just... give me a minute,” Steve says and runs to the break room.
Robin rushes forward. “You told Dustin?”
“Big mistake, I know.”
“Hey! I’m great at keeping secrets.” Robin and Eddie give him a blank stare. Dustin sighs, “Fine, I’ll just wait in the car.” Eddie watches as Dustin mutters something under his breath as he walks out the door.
“You’re really getting into this whole gift thing, aren’t you?” Robin teases him with a knowing smile. What she knows, Eddie doesn’t want to think about.
“Just helping a friend out.”
“A friend,” Robin says sarcastically.
The break room door opens before Eddie can defend himself. Steve rushes over to Eddie with a folded-up piece of paper. “Can you give this to them? And just... promise not to read it.”
“Of course,” Eddie lies, stomach churning unpleasantly. “What do you think of the ring?” he asks nervously, changing the subject.
Steve looks down at it and smiles. “I love it.”
“Yeah?” Eddie asks with a big grin.
“Yeah,” Steve replies with a soft look. Eddie tries not to trick himself into think that Steve would respond the same way if Eddie had given it to him without the false pretense of the secret admirer.
“I’m glad.” Eddie’s eyes flicker to Robin who is staring at him while making a gagging gesture.
A car horn saves him from any cruder gestures she could make. “Looks like it’s time for me to go and deliver a boy and a letter. Farewell!” Eddie says dramatically, waving at the pair.
He tries not to think of why the image of Steve waving with the ring glistening on his finger stays stuck in his head.
After Eddie drops Dustin off, he immediately unfolds the note from Steve.
Dear E.R.,
Thank you for the kind gifts. Would be so kind as to tell me something about yourself? Something that makes you smile the way you’ve made me smile.
I can’t wait to hear from you,
Steve
It’s cheesy and romantic, and Eddie’s unable to convince himself that he doesn’t wish the note was truly for him. This was not part of the plan.
The next part of the Steve joins Hellfire AU! Tentatively calling this 'A Fox in the Hen House' Read from the start here. Also.....over a hundred of you wanted to be tagged so I'm going to tag in the replies after 50!! If you want to be tagged let me know. I also was wondering what we think of me putting this on ao3? I really want to keep these as super short chapters <2000 words a piece, so it feels silly to put it on there, but if you guys want it I'll try it! Anyway story time
------
Steve laughed right in Eddie’s face when he found out exactly what Hellfire was a club for.
“I’m sorry,” He struggled to say between giggles, “I swear I’m not laughing at you, I- I- I swear,”
“Sure looks like you are,” One of the boys at the table said with a glower, the rest giving Steve equally unimpressed looks. Only Eddie remained neutral, staring at Steve with one raised brow.
“Care to clue the rest of us in?”
Steve shook his head trying to stuff down the completely inappropriate reaction he just had. The irony was still choking him, and he had no idea how to explain why exactly he found the whole thing so funny.
“The kids I babysit- holy shit they’re never going to let me live this down- they’re obsessed with dungeons and dragons. They hang out at my house, and they like to play their game there, cause I let them stay up later than their parents would, and they’re always trying to get me to play with them,”
The late bedtime was one perk, but the bigger perk was the fact that El was allowed to come to his house. There were some advantages to living in a big empty house in the woods of Loch Nora, and privacy was one of them. Hopper had granted her permission to go to Steve’s house when his parents weren’t home and he was still at work. Since Steve’s parents were never home, El was pretty much always over at his place.
And, if El was over, then Mike wanted to come over.
If Mike was coming over, then the boys wanted to be there too. And Max kind of just showed up whenever she damn pleased. So, more often than not, these days Steve’s house was filled to the brim with preteens.
He didn’t mind. Sure, they could be bratty at times, but they liked his cooking, and mostly listened to what Steve had to say. Besides, when they were over, the big empty house felt a little less big and empty.
All in all it was a pretty sweet deal, but there was one thing- Steve had flat out refused to participate in dungeons and dragons.
He was happy to watch over them, happy to fill them full of snacks and watch movies and give them advice when they needed it, but actually playing their little nerd game was just one step too far. Something about it just felt…silly. It was fun to listen, but actually being involved was a definite no.
Trust the universe to have a plan to involve him anyway.
“Babysit?” The same boy said, still glaring. Steve winced at the look and felt the first stirrings of discomfort start up in his stomach. He knew Eddie had invited him as a spur of the moment thing, but he hadn’t really expected that the rest of the club might have a problem with him being there.
“You babysit children,” The black boy next to him asked, his jaw dropped wide open.
“Children who play DnD,” The single girl of the group added, holding up her pointer finger as she did.
Was that really such a shock? Well, if they had never thought of Steve as anyone but douchebag jock extraordinaire, then maybe it was. Eddie had been shocked when he found out too, hadn’t he?
Maybe explaining would get them all to stop looking at him that way.
“Yeah. Four boys, two girls. I uh don’t know their classes or whatever though,” Steve tacked on, glancing quickly at Eddie for some sort of reassurance. He was the only one not staring at Steve like he was an alien coming down from outer space.
“Hey at least you know what a class is,” Eddie replied, patting Steve shoulder and walking over to the table, “I was worried we were going to have to start completely from scratch,”
“Sorry to disappoint, but I kind of don’t know anything,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to ignore the suspicious looks still being thrown his way. He just needed to focus on Eddie, who was still willing to give him a shot, “Like I said, I swore I was never going to play,”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t have come to the school’s dungeons and dragons club,” The kid with the spiked leather jacket muttered. Eddie smacked the back of his head as he passed, giving all of them a pointed look.
“I invited him without telling him what it was,” Eddie argued, continuing to scowl until one by one the rest of the group backed down.
Steve shifted awkwardly in place, resisting the urge to wrap his hands around his stomach. He knew there were plenty of people at school who didn’t like him. Hell half of the people he used to consider his best friends couldn’t stand the sight of him, but he hadn’t expected this much hostility.
Part of Steve wanted to bite back. He had never even done anything to them, and it was completely unfair for them to be looking at him the way they were. But the rest of him knew the truth.
Steve personally hadn’t done anything, but he had never stopped anything either, and that was just as bad.
“If it’s really not your thing you don’t have to stay,” Eddie muttered, cutting through Steve’s inner monologue and looking up at him from behind his fringe.
Was that a subtle hint to scram? Had Eddie not wanted Steve to come?
Maybe the invitation was just out of pity, and he hadn’t expected Steve to actually show up. Maybe this was all some elaborate prank, and the second Steve turned tail they were going to burst into laughter and high five each other for getting one over on the head jock of the school.
If it was just the rest, Steve might believe that and leave before his ego got too bruised, but Eddie made him pause. Eddie, who was still looking at him with those wide soft eyes, who had invited Steve to come just because he felt like it. Eddie wasn’t the type of guy to do something mean like that. At least, he didn’t seem like the type, and Steve wanted to trust his gut.
Eddie wasn’t asking out of maliciousness. He was giving Steve the choice to stay or go.
But did Steve want to stay?
Steve wasn’t really keen to be glared at all night, and it was obvious a good bunch of the club was hoping he would just walk right out. Maybe that would be easier.
But El wouldn’t be coming to his house today, because he had told her he wasn’t going to be home till late, and the kids were all busy.
Steve didn’t really feel like being alone anymore.
This was a chance to maybe have some friends his own age. Nice, vaguely normal friends. People who had never seen a demodog, or had to think about sacrificing their lives for a group of middle schoolers. Just something….normal.
“Would you guys mind if I just watched for the first time? Since I don’t have a character or anything,” He asked. Judging by the looks some of them were still occasionally throwing at him, some of them absolutely minded, but Eddie was beaming like the sun.
“Not at all!” He crowed, looking like he had just won a hard fought battle. He grabbed one of the chairs and yanked it over to his side of the binder, “Here, you can sit next to me. Watch from behind the scenes while I destroy these hellions,”
Steve scurried over to Eddie’s side. He wasn’t a coward, but for some reason he felt less nervous when he was closer to someone who actually wanted him around. He sat in the chair next to Eddie’s peering over the sheets and mini figures sitting in front of them with vague interest. He didn’t really understand it, but some of the things looked sort of familiar.
“Comfortable?” Eddie asked, leaning so their heads were close together.
Steve felt a weird shudder run down his spine, but he didn’t pull away. Something about it felt…safe. Warm. Eddie looked at him from the side, and Steve couldn’t help the soft smile that grew on his cheeks.
Bambi eyes. Big, brown, sweet doe eyes.
Steve immediately blushed, pulling away and taking a quick breath in. Whatever that was, it needed to go back down into whatever hole it had come out of and stay there. Eddie smirked and began to point out each of the players.
“Alright quick run down. Angry over here is Gareth, then there's Jeff, and Rocky,” The guy with the bandana half waved as Eddie pointed him out and Steve waved back, “And on this side is Frank, Kaiden, and Janet,”
“I’m Steve,” He said awkwardly.
“We know,” Gareth snarked back. Eddie’s bright smile downturned into an annoyed look, and the two of them had a silent conversation with their eyes.
“And I’m Eddie, or the Wicked Dungeon Master if you prefer,”
“Depends on how much pain you’re about to rain down on us,” Frank replied, settling back in his chair and getting ready to fight for his life.
“It’s about to be hell on earth for them,” Eddie whispered into Steve’s ear, sharing a tricky grin that made Steve’s entire body light up like a matchstick.
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no one asked but this is the post that inspired this! thank u immensely for the luv <3 number 1 comment was wondering what steve’s bids were & from his pov, so without further ado…enjoy — part one here!
—
Begrudgingly, Eddie has to admit that Robin might be right.
It’s impossible not to be looking for the bids since he brought them up to her. Even though Eddie was fully expecting to tell Robin to suck it, maybe even wager what little money he had against this working out, Eddie can’t help but watch for them in every interaction. And fuck, she’s right.
They’re little, but they’re there.
The first one Eddie would’ve missed if he wasn’t looking for it. Actually, that’s a lie; Eddie does miss it, until Robin points it out, the nosy bitch. It’s minuscule and honestly, it just seems like Steve asking his opinion — which friends do all the time! It’s why Eddie brushes right over it.
“Okay, be honest,“ Steve had said, walking and talking as he entered the living room where Robin and Eddie were sprawled across the couches. They were both waiting on him, the three of them set on heading out to the drive-in to catch a film.
Eddie can’t fathom why Steve felt the need to change his outfit for it, but when he returns, he gets it. It’s not quite the usual polo Eddie had grown to like on Steve, this one hanging a little looser, the colour a bit darker than Steve’s usual choice, the sleeves a little shorter — almost midway to a muscle tee.
Steve’s fingers fiddle with the distressed collar of the shirt, smoothing invisible wrinkles and fussing over nothing. He swishes back his floppy hair with a flick of his head. “It’s a new shirt, I know it’s a little different - but what do we think?”
the first season of Russian Doll was like everything you do matters kindness matters people need people it’s important
the second second of Russian Doll was like there is nothing you can do to change the past we are the women who came before us you need to face what is in front of you even if it hurts
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“You would think that you are always worrying more than others, thinking that you are the weird one. Consider it as something like, branches of your young days? If you think of it like the process of a tree growing up, later on, it will be an experience. Of course, it will hurt. It will be hard. You will go through all the pruning, chopping and cutting, and it will hurt. But after those times, I’m sure you will become a great, great tree.”
“Everyone suffers in their life. There are many sad days. But rather than sad days, we hope to make better days. That’s what makes us live. That’s what makes us dream.”
“If you want to love others, I think you should love yourself first.”
“I believe that there’s no improvement if you have an inferiority complex and victim mentality.”
“Why is there no opposite word of loneliness? Could it be because people, until they die, have no moments of not being lonely?”
“I know they talk like you’re too naive, you’re too young but eventually fools change the world. I believe that. So let’s believe in ourselves more”
“Life is more beautiful knowing we’ve taken a loan on death. Even light is treasured more when there is darkness.”
“I hope the tendency to belittle individuality or a person’s unique way of expression will change. I think how people do their hair or what they wear are up to a person’s taste. Hair and clothes? Aren’t the things totally unrelated to what a person actually needs to philosophize over?”
“There are two ways to change the world. First, being revolutionary. Second, looking at the world positively. I want to do both. I’ll do both.”
“The sea is cold and dark, but if you must become a wave for someone, I hope you can become a kind wave.”
“True revenge is to be strong. To survive. To protect.”
JIN
“Just because others are having difficulties, doesn’t mean that yours get any less difficult. So, whenever you’re having a hard time, tell others that you’re struggling. Ask them to understand and comfort you. Please be sure to say that.”
“Don’t sacrifice too much for others and treasure yourself more“
“Your presence can give happiness. I hope you remember that.”
“The pain you’ve been feeling, Can’t compare to the joy that’s coming.“
“The only time you should ever look back, is to see how far you’ve come.”
“Just because the past didn’t turn out the way you wanted it. Doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than ever imagined.”
“I also get depressed. I just try to stay positive for you guys.”
“You are really the only one who needs to acknowledge your efforts.”
“People succeed when others say negative things.“
“‘I love you’. That’s a nice thing to say.”
“I think pride is good for nothing.“
If we all gather our embarrassment together, it’ll become confidence.“
“Good influence becomes bigger when it’s shared.“
“Everything becomes a bad thing when you think negative. When you think positive, it becomes better. That’s what I believe.”
“When something doesn’t work out, instead of scolding yourself, say, ‘Okay, this happened this time, so next time I’ll do better. It’s okay’. There’s even a saying that failure is the mother of success. This time will be a stepping-stone for the next success. If something works out, you should say ‘Indeed! Indeed, I did well. I’m a good person, I’m really the best’. With this mindset, I hope you all love yourself a lot more.”
SUGA
“Those who don’t have a dream, it’s okay, it’s okay if you don’t have a dream. You just have to be happy.”
“Age and gender, nationality and religion, what language you use - all of that isn’t important to me.”
“In the end they’ll judge me anyway so whatever.”
“Life is tough, and things don’t always work out well, but we should be brave and go on with our lives.”
“The dawn before the sun rises is darker than anything but don’t ever forget that the stars you want only rise in the darkness.”
“The higher you climb, the colder it gets. The brighter you shine, the more shadow you cast.”
“Anxiety and loneliness stay forever. And how you choose to make peace with them, that needs a lifetime of consideration.”
“I really want to say that everyone in the world is lonely and everyone is sad, and if we know that everyone is suffering and lonely, I hope we can create an environment where we can ask for help, and say things are hard when they’re hard, and say that we miss someone when we miss them.”
“The compass needle always shakes right before pointing to the exact way. Life is the same.”
“No one taught me how to be satisfied and how to be happy. The road,
you will know the path when you walk on it. The mountains, you will know how rough when you climb up. The person, you will know that person when you interact with them, you can see through their mind. When a long lifetime has passed.The darkest is right before the sunrise. The water is the noisiest right before its boiling point. So happiness doesn’t come without knowing anything. It always comes after the time of enduring pain.”
JHOPE
“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.”
“It doesn’t matter how bright my personality is, I’m still human. I do get stressed.”
“Don’t ever make decisions based on fear. Make decisions based on hope and possibility.”
“Stop comparing. I am just me.”
“It’s hard but it’s as if I’m addicted to basking in your love.”
“When things get tough, look at the people who love you! You will get energy from them.”
JIMIN
“Know that the pain will pass. And when it does you will be stronger.”
“Once your heart is moved, it will develop to something better and positive.”
“Silence is golden. Don’t waste time.”
“I thought the phrase ‘Love Yourself’ would mean extra special to people who are harsh on themselves, like me for instance.”
“Sometimes it can get so hard by pretending that it’s ok.”
“Actually I didn’t love myself before…I’ve drunk alone in the room and thought badly a lot. When I gave a hard time to myself I felt I could grow. At that moment I realized that I have to believe in myself…and think of good things.”
V
“Don’t be trapped in someone else’s dream.”
“You can’t just come into someone’s life, make them feel special, and then leave.”
“When things get hard, stop for awhile and look back and see how far you’ve come. Don’t forget how rewarding it is.”
“I have learned to look back and appreciate my times of trial, as they are also what made me.”
“Unless you open up and share your feelings. No one will understand what you are going through.”
JUNGKOOK
“My wish is for you to move on from relationships that aren’t equal. You deserve to be loved.“
“Effort makes you. You will regret someday if you don’t do your best now. Don’t think it’s too late but keep working on it. It takes time, but there’s nothing that gets worse due to practicing. So practice. You may get depressed, but it’s evidence that you are doing good.”
“Whenever ARMYs miss us, you can come to us. If you have to go or if you want to go, it’s okay for you to leave us. But always remember this. I will always be here “
“We should try to respect and understand each other. We need to be considerate of others. Only then we can understand each other and get close to each other and become one.“
“We have been lucky. But we worked for that luck.”
“Don’t be stubborn, and don’t be too vain. As I’ve lived, I realized there is nothing useful of pride.”
“Don’t do anything you don’t like to do. Just do whatever you want.”
“Hard work will get us somewhere.”
“Don’t lose the people beside you because of your mistakes and wrongs. And live [your life] to the fullest.”
“I can’t tell you to gain strength no matter what, but I do wish that within the hard times you face, you can find things that makes you happy.”
There are many life lessons to gather from BTS’ words. The seven boys might be young but they have been swimming in a harsh and heartless adult world. They matured early and without a warning given.
This took me an eternity to gather. But I made this post aiming that some of you will find hope in these words or maybe just a feeling of comforting, like a pat on the back. Hope you liked it ^^
By @mimibtsghost
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