girls on my dick when i pretty boy swag-soulja boy

partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

my ability to be both a sweetie pie and a sick pervert will lead me to great things

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

every teenager is right that music is more important than anything else in the WORLD!!!!!

having a body made of meat sucks ass

kill dorothy fuck the lion marry the tin man and i dont care about the other one